Echo
by KalyP
Summary: Takes place mid-Eclipse. An accident tears Edward & Bella apart. Can they find their way back to one another? Or is there a different future for Bella - with Jacob? Multiple POV each chapter will list narrator at top Please read & review. Be gentle
1. Chapter 1

**Echo**

_Edward_

I thought seeing her bleeding and broken in that ballet studio would be the worst image ever ingrained in my mind. Worse than the imagined image of her, pale and bloated, after being pulled from the waters of First Beach. I was wrong.

The only worse pain was seeing the way she looked in Jacob's memory – how I'd hurt her when I'd left for all those months. But that pain had been filtered through someone else's eyes. This horror I saw myself...this horror Alice couldn't predict for me – couldn't assist me in preventing. Because Alice couldn't see the wolves. And she – Bella – was leaving Jacob Black's side, on her way to mine.

She was astride her antique motorcycle – every vehicle she owned had at least twenty years on her. I was surprised to see her riding it – she'd made it clear that riding was something she wished to share with Jacob. So I couldn't fathom why she was riding toward me through the field...until I saw her smile. She was showing off – showing me what she could do. Even in the fading light of the day I could see that brilliant smile clearly, see the love shining in her eyes as she threw her hair out of her face and headed in my direction.

Her hair – blowing in the breeze from the speed of the bike. It took me a fraction of a second to realize she wasn't wearing the helmet I'd given her. Which was a fraction too late, as Jacob Black came to the same realization and called out her name, waving the helmet in his hand.

She was too far away – I wasn't fast enough to reach her. I watched in horror as she turned toward his voice, the bike wobbling underneath her. I ran – knowing with a sick kind of terror that, fast as I was, I would still be a second too late to stop her from crashing. My peripheral vision caught Jacob Black's horrified expression as he reached her a few seconds after I did. The bike flipped over her, the front wheel grazing her head as it did so. I shoved the growling monstrosity away from her and gathered her in my arms.

"Bella!"

"Where are you taking her?" Jacob Black called out to me as I rushed from the field, heading toward my home.

"Wait!"

"No!" I growled, ignoring the figure rushing to keep up with me. The boy shifted – taking on his wolf form to better keep up with me as I sped through the forest. "I'm taking her to Carlisle."

"Bella, love, please open your eyes," I pleaded as I ran, my eyes sweeping over her unresponsive face. A deep bruise was developing at her temple, marring her silken skin. "Please, Bella! Please!"

"_No! You have to take her to the hospital!"_ I heard the mongrel growl out his thoughts. _"What about Charlie? He'll be suspicious if she doesn't come home."_

I couldn't argue with that, much as I wished to. "If Carlisle agrees, we will take her to the hospital. Bella would not want to worry Charlie unnecessarily..." My voice trailed off, my excuse dying on my lips as Bella remained limp in my embrace.

"Bella, please," I begged in a strained whisper. "Please open your eyes. Please talk to me. _Please_." I felt Jacob slip further behind, as Sam – in his Alpha voice – told him to back down. I knew it was only temporary – Jacob Black would not stay away long; he would return at the earliest opportunity to check on Bella. And I couldn't deny him that, much as I wanted to.

"Carlisle!" I shouted as I raced up the front steps and into the house.


	2. Chapter 2

_Bella_

Floating.

Heavy, dark clouds weighed down on me as I struggled toward consciousness. Fighting me – in an almost protective manner; keeping me from something I didn't want to know, didn't want to feel. Muffled voices spoke softly, seeping past the ringing in my ears; the voices becoming slightly clearer as a barely audible moan escaped my lips.

"Bella?" a voice called softly, too muffled for me to recognize.

A face swam before my closed eyelids, icy white and devastatingly beautiful. Bronze waves framed the pale, striking features. Eyes the color of liquid gold gazed at me lovingly. The face of an angel. I tried to reach for the seraph, and he vanished.

"No," I whimpered, not wanting him to leave.

"Bella, love…can you hear me?" A cool hand stroked gently across my cheek. I stiffened at the touch and it vanished – almost as if it were never there. Confusion and panic stole over me. Where was I? And how did I get here?

"Jasper," the voice called in a pained whisper. "_Why_?"

"I don't know…you know I can only feel how she's feeling," a second voice spoke in a soft bass. "I don't know the reason behind it, but…" the voice dropped even lower and I struggled to hear. "She's afraid of you."

An inexplicable feeling of calm swept over me, overwhelming and dulling the panic and I sighed in spite of myself. My eyes fluttered but still did not open.

"A light touch, please, Jasper," a third voice sang, its tones gentle and soothing. "Don't mask her feelings to the point where they would be detrimental to me ascertaining the depth of her injury."

"Mom?" I questioned weakly; I winced as I turned my head and fought to open my eyes once more.

A hand pressed gently on my shoulder. "Easy Bella," the gentle voice soothed. "You had an accident…do you remember? You hurt your head."

Something about that last comment tugged at my memory. My brow furrowed as I struggled to remember and I winced again. "Ow."

My hand flew to my brow, rubbing the crease between them. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and then opened them slowly. They widened as I gazed at the beautiful faces of the three men hovering nearby. My eyes flickered across the room; my heart beginning to race anew as I tried to un-muddle my thoughts.

"Where am I?"


	3. Chapter 3

_Edward_

'_Where am I?'_ Did she not recognize my room? Did her gaze not make out the familiar surroundings – the oversized bed she'd grumbled about, the gold comforter that matched the carpet...and my eyes, so she'd told me once. My panicked gaze moved to my father's face as he studied Bella's.

"You're in our home," Carlisle said gently, his eyes wary as they met mine. Bella's eyes traveled across our faces and around the room, bewildered.

"Home?" she questioned, her brow furrowing. She swallowed hard as the slight action caused her pain.

"Bella?" I moved to take her hand; Carlisle stopped me before I could reach her.

"Edward..." Both he and Jasper cautioned. Her chocolate eyes widened as they met mine; then her face puckered again as she fought against the confusion written there. I heard her heartbeat accelerate; heard the sharp intake of breath through her lips as she struggled to calm herself.

"Where's Renee? Where's my mom?" she asked, her gaze flitting from my face to Carlisle's and back again. "Why...why aren't I in a hospital?"

"Renee is at home...in Jacksonville," I explained quietly, keeping my voice soft even as my mind was in turmoil. What was wrong with her? Why was she acting like she didn't know me? "And I brought you here because I thought you wouldn't want to worry Charlie."

"Jacksonville? No..." she shook her head and groaned. "We live in Phoenix," she muttered. Then the rest of what I'd told her caught her attention. "Charlie? Why is Charlie here?"

"Bella," Carlisle captured her attention. _'Easy Edward,'_ he told me silently. _'We'll figure this out.'_

"Bella," he said again, "what is the last thing you remember?"

The crease between her brows deepened and I again had the overwhelming urge to smooth it away; to try anything to push the anxiety and fear from her features. I stifled the urge, pushing it down beside the rising panic I felt as I studied her bewildered expression. I fought the unconscionable pain her lack of recognition instilled in me. _'All that matters is that she'll be okay,' _I told myself. _'I can live with anything, as long as she recovers.'_

But would she? Would she ever be the same – be _my_ Bella again?

"Renee's depressed," she said with a sigh; she was thinking aloud, I realized. "She wants to be with Phil...but she doesn't want to leave me alone."

My eyes widened in horror as I grasped what she was saying. She thought she still lived with Renee – in Phoenix. "Carlisle..." I whispered so that she would not hear.

'_I know, Edward. Stay calm – don't frighten her.'_ Carlisle told me silently. His own thoughts raced through possible futures – whether Bella would ever regain the memories of the past sixteen months. Her memories of me and our life together; of my love, my devotion to her. I'd often worried of losing her, but never had my fears envisioned a loss such as this.

"If Charlie is here," Bella mused, "maybe I'll talk to him about staying with him in Forks. That way, Renee can be with Phil – where she wants to be." Melancholy colored her voice, and her selflessness was once again brought into sharp relief. It reminded me of how she would speak of her mother when we'd first met – indulgent, almost maternal.

I saw Carlisle nod imperceptibly at Jasper; his thoughts as clear to me as if I had thought them myself. Bella's eyes widened slightly as my brother swept forward slowly. Her body tensed as he neared, but for only a second; then slumped into the mattress as his fingers brushed her shoulder. A heavy slumber enveloped her and she sighed as she succumbed to the overwhelming attack.

"Did you need to be so heavy-handed?" I growled at him, my anxious eyes watching as her face relaxed in sleep.

"Edward," Carlisle spoke up, even though I'd already heard where his thoughts were headed. "We must take her to the hospital. We can't keep this from Charlie...he needs to know. And Renee." He sighed, and again, I was struck by how the expression on his face could make him look so much older than his years. His physical years – though he'd lived for nearly four centuries, he still barely passed for much older than the twenty-three years of his human life.

"I...I don't know how long this..." he struggled for words, "this confusion will last. I'd like to consult with some of my colleagues..."

"Carlisle, please," I spat, apprehension and irritation warring within me. "How could they possibly know something you don't?"

"I do not profess to be all-knowing when it comes to the field of medicine, Edward. Though, I'll admit, I have had more time for study than most..." He grinned weakly, the smile slipping from his face as he gazed down at the soft, delicate figure lying on the bed in front of us. "Regardless," he continued, "This is not something we can keep from her father. Do you think Jacob Black will not run to Charlie if we don't?"

"He wouldn't dare," I growled, my anger growing, though I knew it was unjustifiable. "If he told Charlie what really happened, it would destroy his 'good graces' in her father's eyes."

'_Do you care more for how Charlie looks upon you than Bella's health?'_ he thought with disdain, though he had to know nothing could be further from the truth. Still, his unspoken thoughts filled me with shame and I lowered my gaze guiltily.

"We'll take the Mercedes," he said, as I gathered Bella carefully in my arms and headed for the door. "You'll be more comfortable in the back seat."

'_I don't know, Edward.'_ Alice frowned as I passed, worry creasing her brow. _'Until Bella knows her own mind, her future isn't any more than a blur to me. I can't see what she'll decide.'_ She sought to reassure me while I settled myself and my precious cargo into the back of Carlisle's car.

'_She __**is**__ going to recover, Edward. I can see that much-though I don't know if she'll ever be the same as before...'_ her thoughts trailed off as we sped away.

I cradled Bella against my chest as Carlisle raced down the road, gazing down at the perfection that was her face. Even tainted as she was by the large purplish bruise, she was still the most exquisite creature I had ever beheld. My icy fingers brushed her mahogany tresses from her forehead, lingering ever so gently over the purplish welt growing there. The skin burned hotter there than usual, her blood pooling at the site where the motorcycle struck her.

I froze, turning to stone as Bella stirred and softly sighed my name. "Edward." She settled deeper into my arms and shivered suddenly; I gathered the comforter I'd grabbed with her when I'd lifted her from my bed and wrapped it tighter around her slight frame.

I saw the hope that flared in my father's thoughts at the sound of my name spilling from Bella's lips; it matched my own. But he knew as well, if not better than I, that her subconsciously spoken thought meant nothing. It could very well just be her repeating a name she'd heard Carlisle or Jasper utter moments ago when she'd awoken.

'_What do you plan to tell Charlie?'_ Carlisle questioned as he turned into the hospital lot and headed for the Emergency entrance.

"She tripped...and hit her head on one of Esme's ceramic planters."

"You're going to _lie_ to him?"

"You act as if this were the first time..." I reminded him gently.

"No...I only meant..." Carlisle faltered, the rest of his statement uttered silently as we climbed from the car and headed toward the entrance. _'If you told Charlie the truth, you could rid yourself of Jacob Black. Charlie would be furious to know that Jacob never sold Bella's bike...'_

"Do you think I could do that to Bella?" I hissed, knowing even as I said it that it no longer applied. If Bella didn't remember me, her memory of Jacob Black was also gone. We were on even ground-something that would no doubt thrill the mongrel, even as it filled me with dread.

We were both at square one. Even Mike Newton had as much of a chance now with Bella as we did. That thought did not please me, yet I couldn't help but wonder if that vile, superficial creature wouldn't be better for her than either Jacob or myself. Bella's life had been in constant danger since the second she'd crossed downwind of me in that tiny classroom. More than one vampire had threatened her in the ensuing months; there were several out there now that were still stalking her, envisioning her death. Jacob and his pack, his brothers, were juvenile at best, volatile at worst. Uncontrollable – one false step could find her with one of the infant dogs at her throat. I shuddered at the thought. Wouldn't her life be better, be safer, if she were away from both of us?

'_Edward...what are you thinking?'_ Carlisle's eyes narrowed as he examined my face. "No," he exclaimed aloud as he read my expression correctly. "You can't..."

I gave silent thanks to the attendants that rushed over as we entered Emergency, effectively distracting my father as he explained Bella's injury and took her from me, placing her gently on a nearby gurney. I took a step back, never letting her leave my sight even as I allowed them to push me from the large triage room. I watched one attendant reach for the phone, knowing that the call she made would bring Chief Swan – Charlie – running.

I watched closely as Bella stirred finally, roused by the bustling of the people around her. She attempted to sit up amidst all the attention; her face blanched and she fell back against the pillow. My body tightened as I fought the impulse to rush to her side in a fruitless attempt to somehow ease her pain. I sighed, my nails tight against my stony palms as Carlisle moved forward. He spoke soothingly to Bella as her gaze swept the second unfamiliar room her eyes had beheld within the last hour.

I squeezed my eyes shut, my right hand moving to pinch the bridge of my nose. I committed Bella's face to memory before turning and walking to Carlisle's office – where I knew he would seek me out as soon as he was able. As if I needed to-the image of her face had been permanently etched in my brain since the first day I'd laid eyes upon her beauty. Even as I walked away, her chocolate-colored eyes haunted my every step.


	4. Chapter 4

_Bella_

'_What a strange dream.'_ A flurry of movement around me drew me from unconsciousness; voices intruding on the image playing against my closed lids. A vision of three hauntingly beautiful faces, watching me concernedly, cautiously. Each face more beautiful than the last.

Awareness came slowly; other senses telling me where I was before I opened my eyes. Cool hands moved over me, checking me – one set icier than the others. A strong chemical odor assailed me – antiseptic? – and I wrinkled my nose against it. I was in a hospital. Had the dream been real, I wondered. Who had the three breathtaking faces belonged to? Were they here as well?

"Let's get an IV in," I heard a soft voice say.

IV? Ugh! "No," I protested weakly. My eyes flew open as I sat up. That was a mistake. The room spun wildly; beads of perspiration stole across my forehead as I paled and fell back against the pillows, eyes closing to fight off the dizziness.

"It's all right, Bella," a voice sang gently as cold hands took hold of my right hand. My eyes fluttered open and I gasped. It was him – one of the three angelic faces I'd seen in my dream. Had it been a dream? With golden hair and eyes, he smiled down at me, capturing my attention.

"Just keep your eyes on me, Bella. It's going to be all right," he promised. I flinched as the nurse jabbed a needle in my hand; he squeezed my other hand tenderly. He wasn't difficult to look at – he was beautiful; his face kind. Yet I longed to see another face – one I was still unsure was real.

"Your father is on his way…" he began, cutting off as we heard Charlie's voice carry across the room.

"Bella!"

"Dad," I cried, thankful to finally see a face I recognized. I frowned as he moved closer, wondering why he was wearing his uniform. Did he travel all the way from Washington in it?

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie turned a worried glance at the man standing with my hand in his. "What happened?"

"Let's talk in private, Chief Swan…and please, I told you to call me Carlisle." The blond man smiled at my father; then turned to me. "Bella, I need to speak to your father for a moment, but we'll be right back, okay? And you can call out, if you need us."

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying hard to focus on the soft voices speaking in the far corner of the room.

"What happened to her?" my father demanded.

"Esme has been redecorating…" Dr. Cullen started, almost absentmindedly – as if his thoughts were elsewhere, it sounded to me. "Bella tripped on the top step and hit her head on one of the new planters."

"Where is your son? Why isn't he here?" Charlie asked suspiciously. His son? Surely the two men I'd seen with Dr. Cullen were far too old to be his sons. Who could Charlie be talking about?

"Edward's here, Charlie. He's waiting in my office." A beat. "We thought it best…"

"Best?!? What does that mean?"

"Charlie…" the doctor began, stopped; then started again. "Bella's injury…there's been some memory loss. Now, we don't know if it's permanent or not," he said quickly. I opened my eyes, staring at the horror written plainly on my father's face.

Memory loss? No…this had to be some kind of cruel joke. I wasn't in Phoenix after all – I was living with my father…in Forks. How much time had I lost? What had I lost? Charlie had mentioned someone named Edward – Carlisle's son, he'd said. A face swam before my eyes; bronze hair, golden topaz eyes, and a crooked smile that made my heart skip a beat.

"How much time has she lost?" Charlie echoed my unspoken question.

"She thinks she's still in Phoenix…with Renee," Carlisle replied. "Right after the wedding, I believe." He sighed. "As I said, it's too soon to know if it's permanent. Most cases, the amnesia is only temporary."

"So much time," Charlie's voice was pained. "Does she know?"

They both turned to look at me; my wide, panicked eyes flickered from face to face. I saw my father take a step toward me. Carlisle placed a firm hand on his arm, holding him back.

"Slow, Charlie," he cautioned; it reminded me of something he'd said earlier. He and the other blond had restrained the third of their party – the youngest one…the most beautiful of the three. They'd called him Edward – that was the doctor's _son_?

"Bella?"

My heart raced; my mind was reeling. _'So much time'_, Charlie had said. How much? I struggled for breath, my head throbbing.

"Bells?" Charlie said softly. Both men moved slowly toward me. I saw the doctor nod to someone out of view. "Bella honey, it's okay."

"Dad? I…" I couldn't form the words, didn't know what to say – what to ask.

"Bella," Carlisle spoke up, approaching and taking my hand again. "I know you're frightened. But I don't want you to worry…we're going to work this out. Everything is going to be fine," he soothed.

"We're giving you something for the pain. Something to help you rest." An odd warmth ran through me and a strange taste sprang to my tongue. I turned to see the nurse remove a syringe from my IV.

"No…" I shook my head, a dull, numbing sensation already stealing over me. I didn't want to sleep! I struggled against my drooping eyelids; it was a losing battle. "Noo…" I slurred.

"I'm right here, Bella honey," I heard Charlie whisper and his hand took mine. The last thing I remembered before sinking into the darkness was the drastic difference in temperature between his warm hands and those of Dr. Carlisle Cullen.


	5. Chapter 5

_Edward_

I paced the small office, my hands clenching and unclenching reflexively as I watched events unfold in the Emergency room through others eyes. I flinched as Bella did when the needle pierced her skin; from the day we met, her pain had been my pain. And it would always be so – no matter what happened now. For the rest of my existence.

I gazed at her through Carlisle's eyes; at the pale features, the too-white lips as she fought a wave of nausea. My left arm jutted out, hand outstretched to stroke her face as if I were in the room with her. I growled softly in frustration, eyes closed, my hand tightened into a fist as I pressed it, hard, against my lips. The longing I'd felt to be at her side had almost pulled me from the room – propelled me down the hallway to her. And then I'd heard her father's voice in Carlisle's head.

As always, Charlie Swan's fear and concern for his only child was overwhelming. I watched father and daughter greet one another; the relief on Bella's face turning to confusion as something about his appearance troubled her. His uniform, I guessed, knowing she still thought she was in Phoenix.

"What happened?" he demanded of my father and I briefly saw a flash of anger in Carlisle's thoughts when he heard, as I did, the accusation in Charlie's words. As if I were somehow to blame for Bella's injury. In Charlie's eyes, I was always to blame for whatever happened to Bella – anything bad. The distaste in Carlisle's voice was cleverly disguised as he told the lie I'd given him. For the briefest of seconds, he'd considered going against my wishes and telling the truth. But, in the end, my father could usually be counted on to defer to his family's desires.

Both men turned to face her now; my love – the only girl I had ever, and would ever, love. If anything had the power to draw me from the room toward her, it was the naked fear written across her beautiful face in that second. My hands gripped the desk, chunks of wood turned to dust in my grasp. I cursed softly.

"Guess I'll have to replace _that_ desk now," I mumbled ruefully.

'_Edward.'_ I heard Carlisle before he entered the room. _'You can't seriously be considering leaving. You've tried that once before – it didn't work out for either of you.'_ His anguish caused his thoughts to spill rapidly from his mind; if spoken aloud they would have been little more than an unintelligible hiss to human ears. "She loves you, Edward." His eyes were on me as he closed the door behind him. "I refuse to believe that she won't return to you. You can't _do_ this!"

"How is she?" I asked quietly, ignoring the silent plea in my father's eyes. That was the most important thing – Bella. She would always be more important than anything else in my world.

"She's frightened and confused." _'As you very well know.'_ "They're taking her upstairs."

I knew that as well. I'd seen her being wheeled down the hall and to the elevator, the orderly kindly obliging me by gazing at her face; soft, peaceful – her fear and anguish slipping away as unconsciousness overtook her. I committed the room number to memory – 347 – knowing I would be there soon to watch over her. And to give Charlie Swan the confrontation I owed him.

"Edward," Carlisle tried again, "You're not the only one with something at stake here. We _all_ love Bella – you know that. It would kill Esme – it would kill _you_ – if you go through with what you're thinking. You _can't_ leave..."

"Leave?" I said, surprised. How could he believe that I would leave her – after all we'd been through? With all that was waiting out there for her, stalking her, did he think I could leave her unprotected? "No, Carlisle. I can't _leave_ her. The Volturi, the vampire that invaded her room...Victoria," I hissed the last name. "I cannot – _will_ not – leave her unguarded, defenseless."

'_Then...I don't understand, Edward. What are you planning?'_

"I will not leave her," I declared again, "but neither will I force myself – my _life_ – upon her. Bella has a second chance to choose...to decide where she really wants to be." I struggled with the words as I said them; wondered if I truly had the strength to make them true. Could I be with her day after day and not intrude upon her life? Sit next to her, hour upon hour, and resist the urge to stroke the satiny skin of her cheek; hold her delicate body within my embrace; feel the warmth of her lips as they molded to mine?

I groaned aloud as the images assailed me. Could I do this? Could I go through with this insane plan of mine? Even as I told myself I would do this – for her – my silent heart ached, hoping beyond hope that she would look upon my face again with the same love that I'd last seen in her eyes when we'd parted this morning. Had it not even been one day since this horror had struck – it seemed an eternity since her lips had pressed against mine. Since her softly whispered "I love you" had caressed both my ear, and my heart.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly, sensing my torment. _'She will return to you,'_ he declared fervently. _'There can be no path for one of you without the other.'_

Hollow words of comfort; well-meaning, but they did nothing for me. I wished I could be as certain as my father. But I'd known all along, I had no right to one such as Bella – I was undeserving of such a gift. And Fate had discovered a way to take her away from me. Could I somehow convince Fate to send her back to my arms? Would Charlie allow me to try?

I knew her father would attempt to keep us apart – thinking of her safety. He was not a mean-spirited man by nature, but he'd been hurt by her mother...and he'd seen how much I had hurt Bella before. That I had acted to protect her was not something he had – or would – take into consideration. How could he – when he knew so little of the truth of my loving his daughter?

Removing me from her life was a chance he would not be able to resist, I knew. Would he unknowingly try to thrust Jacob Black at her? Not realizing how dangerous that liaison was as well? Would Bella take heed of her father's considerations when dealing with what her own heart wanted? And what would that heart decide?

"It's been a rough day for you, hasn't it?" Carlisle asked, gazing down at the mangled edge of his desk.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I never meant to...She was just so _frightened_..."

"A desk can be replaced," Carlisle said dismissively. "Though, it _was_ a priceless antique," he said with a sigh. "What you have – what you _feel_ – for Bella...and what she feels for you..."

"May no longer exist," I said wretchedly, cutting him off before he could finish. A wave of fresh pain washed over me as I contemplated a life without her. _'But, at least she's alive,'_ I told myself.

"Go to her, Edward," my father urged, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Tell her you love her. She _has_ to come back to you."

I saw the memories twist in his head. He was remembering Esme – the sixteen-year-old girl he'd first seen and fallen for. How he'd turned from that girl – wanting her and yet knowing he could not take her life from her. Then, a decade had passed and she was before him again – even more beautiful. Even near death as she had been, she had been beautiful – angelic. He couldn't lose her a second time. He'd had no hope of seeing her again; yet Fate had given him a most precious gift.

'_Ten years!'_ I groaned. Could I wait that long to have Bella smile upon me as she once did? Would she? Or would this new Bella see me for the monster I was?

"Go to her Edward," Carlisle said again. "Bring her back to us."

I nodded absently to my father as a new voice intruded on my thoughts. "First I have to stop Jacob Black before he purges his guilty conscience to Charlie."

"Jacob Black is _here_?"

"Charlie called the Blacks." Of course he would call his friend – needing the support as he worried over his daughter. And especially while he worked up the courage to call and tell Renee. "Jacob and his father just arrived."

"I'll let your mother – and the others know where you are," Carlisle said softly. He knew me too well, I thought ruefully. He knew that I would not – could not – leave Bella...even when I myself didn't know. Even as I tried to convince myself I could. "I'm sure they'll be by to see Bella when they can..."

"Do you think that's wise?"

"Do you honestly believe I'll be able to keep Alice away?" he smiled at me. "They'll be discreet, Edward."

"When has Alice _ever_ been discreet?"

I rushed down the hall as I spied Jacob Black and his father entering an elevator, preparing to head up to the third floor. I moved faster than any human eyes could see; anyone I passed would only feel a gust of air as I swept by. I placed my hand between the closing doors; both Blacks glared as they opened again and their eyes fell upon my face.

"Jacob..."

"What do you want, leech?" he spat, still angry that I'd left him behind when carrying Bella to my father.

"I need to speak to you before you see Charlie. To explain..."

"Explain what?"

I fought the urge to slap the belligerent expression from his face. Why _had_ I given the false story to Charlie? Why had I covered for this whelp – when he obviously did not deserve it. Did not deserve _her_. For Bella, I told myself. _'It's why you haven't throttled the dog – though many times you've been more than tempted to tear him apart.'_

'_Plus, he had been there for Bella when you had not. He'd kept her sane – restored her – all those months you two had been apart. And so, now, you were helping him – maybe even to your own detriment.' _ That thought was not a comforting one.

"Carlisle told Charlie that Bella had injured herself at our home," I began.

"Why?" The boy was dumbfounded – he had thought for certain that I would have jumped at the chance to cause him trouble with Bella's father. That I would have done anything in an attempt to keep him out of Bella's life.

"Charlie would be furious to know that Bella was still riding – that you had never sold her bike like he'd ordered you to."

"I know," he admitted. "Still doesn't explain why you lied for me." He was angry – he didn't want to be beholden to me for anything.

"I did not do it for _you_," I replied sharply. "I did it because Bella would not have wanted to get you in trouble."

"But Bella doesn't remember..."

"I know," I snarled through gritted teeth; I glanced at Jacob's father, surprised that Billy Black had not uttered a single word during this confrontation. His thoughts were not so silent; I wondered if his son knew that he thought Bella was not meant for either of us. That Jacob was better off searching for someone from his own tribe. Yet he was fond of his friend's daughter – which was why he was as determined as his son to force me out of her life...for good.

"Carlisle feels that her memories will eventually return."

"But there are no guarantees..."

"Yes, mongrel," I growled, answering both his spoken and unspoken thoughts. "Be aware that I will be fighting just as hard for her now as I ever did," I declared, surprising myself. So much for my plan to stay away from her. "Bella and I _will_ be together."

The elevator buzzed loudly and the doors started to close. I answered one last unvoiced question in Jacob Black's head. "I will be staying close by – I won't leave her unprotected. So you needn't concern yourself..." I broke off as the doors closed, his angry eyes still ingrained behind mine.

I turned for the stairs, rushing up them and down the third floor hall to Bella's room before their elevator reached the second floor. I paused outside, sensing that I had another battle on my hands with her father. My good intentions, thinking I could let her choose who she wanted to be with – whether it would be myself, Jacob Black, or one of the human males that flocked around her, were tossed aside. I should have known that my resolve would crumble – it always did when it came to Bella Swan. I took a deep breath, though I didn't need it, and pushed the door open.

"So you finally show your face," Charlie groused. He sat in a hard, straight-backed chair that he'd pulled up beside her bed. Her hand rested gently in his and I could see his eyes were red-rimmed. Tears – something he would fight to hide from Bella, but he'd allowed himself to shed in a vulnerable, private moment.

"Charlie, please," I pleaded softly. "You know how deeply I care for your daughter." I looked at Bella – at her serene beauty – and felt my chest constrict. A reaction my long-dead heart should not be having. Would I ever tire of looking at her – ever grow weary of gazing at this fragile beauty lying before me? I doubted that day would ever come, and hoped again that I would have her in my life as before. For there was no life for me without her.

"You profess to love her," Charlie replied, anger seeping through every word. "Yet, she seems to always end up hurt when she's with you..."

"What happened was an accident," I said hotly, wondering again why I'd lied for Jacob Black.

"How many more accidents are in her future if she remains with you?" Charlie asked quietly. I could feel the anger and fear rolling off him in waves. And he was right; Bella loving me had opened her up to dangers – more than he would ever know. "How long until one of those 'accidents' takes her away from me, forever?" he said in a pained whisper.

I closed my eyes with an inaudible sigh, recognizing the truth in his words. Remembering Bella's determination to join my family and leave her own behind. To become a monster; I shuddered at the memory of the many arguments we'd had on the subject.

And yet...I couldn't help but wish that she would open those melted chocolate eyes and be the same stubborn Bella that so exasperated me. That she would continue to embrace this half-life of mine – a path that would allow her to stay with me forever.

"If there's any good to come of this," Charlie said slowly, deliberately, "it's that she doesn't remember how much you hurt her when you left."

I flinched at his words, again seeing the images Jacob inflicted upon me that morning after Bella and I had returned from Florida flicker across my memory. His words stabbed me – as if I could ever forget those devastating months that we had been separated. Separated at my own hands; a foolish, stupid mistake that I would spend the rest of my existence regretting. I'd crushed her heart as I'd walked away – as surely as if I'd actually pulverized it in my fist. My own frozen heart had been mangled right along with hers. Bella still did not cope well when we were separated – no matter how brief a time. For that matter, neither did I.

"I won't let her go through that kind of pain again."

"Sir, I would never..." _Could never..._

As Charlie Swan gazed at me, I heard Jacob Black and his father outside the door, listening to every word. I heard Jacob's silent exultations that Bella's father was about to forbid me from seeing her. Though I hated him with nearly the same passion that I loved Bella, I could not blame him for wanting this. For hoping that he might be able to make Bella love him as he loved her. Sickened, I watched helplessly as he weaved elaborate fantasies of a life with Bella in his head. Smugly, too, because he knew I could hear them.

"I don't know what Bella will remember when she wakes up," her father said, oblivious to my torment. "I won't keep her from seeing you – if that's what she wants. If she remembers..."

My silent heart swelled with hope at his words. It was more than I expected and I could not help but take a grim satisfaction in how they wounded the boy that stood just outside the door. Yet I sensed that her father had more to say – one last edict to deliver.

"You say you love her," Charlie said again, his eyes turning to gaze at his only child. "Let her go. Give her a chance to be happy...give her a choice."

He was only saying the very things I had said to my father just moments before; yet, coming from his mouth, they filled me with anger. _'What of _my_ happiness? What of _my_ pain?'_ I wanted to scream at him. Bella was my life; I had nothing without her – _was_ nothing without her.

My eyes burned with unshed tears, my body no longer able to shed them. Yet I could feel them burning me – my eyes, my throat; felt the weight of them crushing my chest. Silently, defeated, I nodded.

"I'll let you say goodbye," Charlie said hoarsely; he headed toward the door. "I want you gone when I come back." He stepped from the room and I heard him greeting Billy and Jacob, taking them both to the nearby waiting room.

As the door closed behind him, I sank to my knees in devastation. Was this to be my punishment for my sins? For the atrocities I had committed in this non-life I lived? My body shook with ragged breaths that it did not need; my head fell into my hands. How could I do this? How could I say goodbye when all I wanted was to gather her close and never let her go?

A soft moan pulled me from my desolation. I rose quickly and moved to her side. Drugged slumber still held her prisoner, but it was a restless sleep. She was dreaming; her eyes moving wildly beneath the delicate lids, her hands twitching. Her head thrashed once or twice and a shudder ran through her as I heard a hiss of breath drawn through her teeth. As she began to shiver in earnest, I pulled the blanket from the foot of the hospital bed and draped it gently over her.

"Bella," I whispered, covering her hand with both of mine. I raised it to my face, my lips brushing lightly against her palm. I rested her open hand against my cheek, marveling at the warmth; already aching at its loss.

"Bella, I love you," I whispered at her ear. "I will always love you – no matter what happens, know that there will never be anyone else for me but you." I kissed her forehead, each closed eyelid, her nose, her cheeks; committing the scent and feel of each to memory, though I knew them perfectly already. "Come back to me," I pleaded softly as my lips brushed hers.

"No matter what you decide...know that I will always be here for you. I will always watch over you and keep you safe. Whenever you need me – whenever you want me, I will be right at your side." I cupped her face in my palm, my thumb stroking gently across her cheek. A crushing wave of pain washed over me as Bella instinctively leaned into my caressing hand.

I had to get out before this agonizing grief overwhelmed me. Before what little resolve I had left disappeared and I swept her up into my arms and ran. I kissed her tenderly once more and whispered again, "I love you, Isabella. Please come back to me." I was at the door when her soft sigh froze me in my tracks.

"Edward."

I whirled at the sound, hoping against hope that I might be rewarded with her smile, her warm eyes gazing at me lovingly. Fate denied me once again. When Charlie Swan and the Blacks entered the room, I was gone, yet close by. As I promised. I reached for my phone.

"Alice?"


	6. Chapter 6

_Bella_

Dreaming.

Again.

Colors were most prominent in this dream. The dreary gray of a Monday morning in Forks, the dull red of the bulbous cab of my aged red Chevy pick-up, the green that seemed to be everywhere in this tiny town.

Images flashed before me-my first day in my new school. The way everyone seemed to watch my every move-my every step or, rather, my every stumble. How I'd had to correct every person who greeted me by my full name. I preferred Bella to Isabella.

The girl who babbled incessantly next to me in Trig and Spanish; and then continued to babble the entire way to the lunchroom. More stares as we took our seats-I felt like the sideshow at a circus.

Then, I saw _them_. The group-no, family, as Jessica explained-that sat apart from everyone else. They all seemed as out of place as I felt-and I felt a wave of empathy for them. They were so different-so strikingly beautiful that it took my breath away.

The Cullens.

The image faded, replaced by a single face. _His_ face-the angelic, beautiful face of the youngest Cullen…_Edward_. The face was tormented, anguished, yet still breathtaking. I felt his cool hand, holding mine; felt his fingers brush my cheek and I leaned into it, longingly. I heard his exquisite voice calling to me.

"_Isabella, I love you. Come back to me."_

And then he was gone. As quickly as he'd appeared, he vanished. And I was left with an unconscionable ache-one I shouldn't have for a boy I didn't even know. Even as my subconscious mind processed that, I felt the urge to find him. I called out to him, beckoning him back.

"Edward."

But he didn't return and I sank back into my dream. Traveling down a hallway, a different girl strolling beside me. Angela-she was nice, quiet; more like me than Jessica. We entered the biology lab in silence.

And he was there. Edward-looking just as beautiful as before. As I moved past where he sat, I couldn't help but gaze at him again; recoiling in shock as our eyes met. The face that stared back at me was a different from my seraph as day was from night. Eyes blacker than pitch, menacing, as they glared at me, his hands rock-hard fists in his lap. I stumbled away from the desk, wanting to get as far as possible from that face. The dream faded again, mercifully this time, as more voices intruded.

"How long before she wakes up?" The voice was gravelly and soft, like a whisper. I felt warm fingers brush at my hairline. Very warm fingers that then curled gently around my right hand.

"I don't know, Jake." I heard my father reply, just as softly. "You know Bella-she always tries to hide her pain. Carlisle knows what he's doing-he wouldn't do anything to hurt her." That last statement confused me; as if my dad were trying to convince this Jake that the doctor didn't have some nefarious plan in store for me.

"Of course he wouldn't." The new voice was a lilting song; light, feminine, beautiful. Whoever the voice belonged to-she stood on the opposite side of me as this Jake my father seemed to know. I heard the two mumble obscenities at each other-so low I'm sure my father didn't catch them. The words didn't make much sense; she called him dog, while I'm sure he said something that sounded like 'bloodsucker'.

My temple was beginning to throb again, the majority of the pain I felt localized there. But, suddenly, I was aware of other pains; my left shoulder and across my back. Strange places to be injured if I had fallen forward as my father had been led to believe. I shifted on the bed, a low hiss of pain passing my lips.

"Bella?" the lilting voice sang, beautiful even in its worry. The over-warm hand that held mine squeezed a little too tightly, as icy fingers stroked my bruised temple. I winced at both, though the cool fingers felt nice against my heated skin. "Are you hurting?"

"Jake, don't break her hand," I heard Charlie say sharply. I struggled to answer the bell-like question, struggled to call my father's name. But all that came out was a pained groan-the lethargy was still too strong.

I heard a soft buzzing sound, followed by a disjointed voice calling out and I realized someone had called the nurse's station. I tried shaking my head-I didn't want the darkness again. I wanted to see my father's face-see all of their faces, hoping that somehow matching the faces and voices would help me remember. All I managed with the shake of my head was a wave of nausea. I whimpered in pain in spite of myself.

"Bells, honey," the gravelly voice spoke against my ear. "You're going to be just fine. Wait and see." I frowned; I was tired of everyone trying to placate me.

"It doesn't look like she believes you," the bell-like voice sang, a hint of smugness in her tone. I fought to open my eyes and gazed up bleary-eyed at the diminutive figure standing beside me. Dark, spiky hair framed the pixie-like face. A soft smile shone amongst the pale features.

"Al-Alice? Alice Cullen?"

"Bella?" I saw Charlie's face appear before me, his questioning voice overlapping that of the nurse who'd just arrived with my pain medication. "Do you remember Alice?"

"No," I shook my head, speaking to the nurse. She ignored me, and I felt that familiar numbing sensation stealing over me again. I sighed, my eyes fluttering closed as I fought to answer my father's question. "I…I saw her…my first day at school…" Then the darkness enfolded me once again.

"I still think that she should come home with me and Phil." I heard Renee's voice coming softly from the foot of the bed. "You're away from home most of the time-Bella would be all alone…"

"Carlisle believes, and I agree, that when she's able, she needs to be around familiar things. Get right back in the swing of things."

"Is _that_ so?" Even in a whisper, my mother's voice was shrill as she argued with Charlie. "Then why are you keeping…?"

"Mom?" I groaned, opening my eyes and searching for her.

"Baby?" Renee broke off and hurried to my side. She leaned down and kissed my cheek, wrapping her arms around me tightly. I hissed in pain even as my own arms encircled her.

"Bella?" She pulled back, looking in my eyes. "What is it? What hurts?" I sighed; Renee would never change. She always overreacted.

"I'm fine, Mom," I replied automatically. My brow furrowed as I thought over the conversation I'd interrupted. "What were you two arguing about?" My gaze moved from Renee's face to Charlie's and back.

"We weren't arguing, honey," Renee began. My eyes narrowed at the lie and she took a deep breath before starting again. "We're just discussing what would be best for you – when you're ready to leave here. Taking care of you is the most important thing."

I caught the grimace Charlie quickly hid and I knew what he was thinking. Renee put Phil before me – which was why I was now in Forks. I loved my mother, but Charlie was right. If flighty had a photo next to it in the dictionary, it would be a picture of Renee. I didn't fault her for it – that's just the way she was.

Forks – I still had trouble believing I was actually here…and had apparently been a resident for some time now. There were obviously quite a few things my parents were keeping from me about those lost months.

Jake, for example – he seemed very familiar with me last night…or this morning – whenever it was that I had awoken. What surprised me was my reaction to having him hold my hand. It had been nice-the warmth welcome in the chilly room. Just who was he and how did we know each other?

"Bells…the doctor thinks you need to get back to your regular routine as soon as possible. Once you're home," Charlie amended. He turned to Renee. "There's nothing familiar in Jacksonville. She's been there, what, once? For three days?"

"You don't seem to have a problem cutting some familiar things from her life…"

"I'm _trying_ to protect my daughter!" Charlie replied hotly.

"Mom, Char-Dad," I protested, trying again to come between their disagreement. I rose quickly to place a hand on each of them and regretted the move instantly. The room spun sickeningly; I blanched and squeezed my eyes shut. My arms flailed and I grasped Charlie's wrist as I fell back against the pillow.

"Bella!" I heard the apprehension in both my parents' voices as they hovered over me. Each took one of my hands and I felt my mother's fingers brush gently across my forehead.

"How is my patient this morning?" I heard Dr. Cullen's voice call out from the doorway.

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie cried out, his voice still fearful. "Thank goodness. I think Bella fainted."

"Bella?" the doctor spoke softly from right beside me. His nearness surprised me – I hadn't heard him cross the room.

"I'm okay," I replied, shocked at how weak my voice sounded.

"What happened?" he asked, directing his question to my parents as his cool hands worked over me, checking my temperature. I winced as he peeled back one eyelid and shone his penlight into it. "Sorry," he said quietly. There was something about his tone that puzzled me. Almost as if he'd heard them arguing…long before his voice had called from the hall.

"We were talking," Charlie said evasively, avoiding both my and my mother's eyes. "Bella sat up and…"

"I see. Why don't you both step out into the waiting room for a moment while I look Bella over…I'm sure everything is fine," he added at Renee's panicked expression.

"Let the man do his job, Renee," Charlie said, taking my mother by the arm and leading her out of the room. Once the door was closed behind them, Dr. Cullen turned to me.

"I thought you could use a minute away from all of that," he said quietly. His ocher eyes appraised me, a sad smile turned up the corners of his mouth. "It's been a confusing twenty-four hours for you, hasn't it?"

"You _did_ hear them, didn't you?"

"They're both trying to do what they think is best for you," he replied; a shadow crossed over his face. I sensed there was something he was keeping from me as well.

"You don't agree with them, though, do you?" I asked shrewdly. "Dr. Cullen?" I prodded when he didn't answer.

"It's Carlisle…please," he said, his voice almost a whisper. I was taken aback at the emotion in the words, as if my formality had somehow wounded him.

"You think they're both wrong, don't you…Carlisle?"

"Bella…" Carlisle's sad smile lingered; he stroked a hand across my hair in a very fatherly gesture. Then he seemed to catch himself and he went about examining me in earnest. "It's not my place to agree or disagree with your parents' wishes."

"Do you know what it is that Charlie's keeping from me? Renee keeps mentioning…"

"I think we should get back to this examination," he interrupted, but he seemed angry about something. "Before your parents come back and think I'm shirking my duties." His penlight was back out and he flashed it in each eye. He then probed the knot on my forehead with the gentlest of touches.

"Still dizzy?"

"A little," I lied. Well, it wasn't a complete lie – as long as I was fairly still the dizziness was tolerable.

"I would imagine it's more than a little," Carlisle said knowingly. "You took quite a hit."

My eyes narrowed at his choice of words. It reminded me of something. "I didn't trip on the stairs, did I?"

The slight falter in his actions was almost unnoticeable; if I hadn't been looking closely, I would have missed the tightening of his lips. "I keep forgetting how perceptive you can be," he murmured under his breath.

"You know what really happened, don't you?"

"I'd like to get you down to Radiology for another x-ray," he said, as if I hadn't spoken. "I'll have the nurse bring in a wheelchair – unless you think sitting up for that trip will be too much. We can wheel you down on the bed…"

"Ugh!" I groaned. "Can't I walk?"

He laughed. "We don't let anyone walk around here. Surely you've figured that out by now – as many hospitals as you've been in."

"A wheelchair then," I grumbled, not wanting to be even further humiliated by a ride downstairs on a gurney.

"I'll know better after we get the x-rays, but we may be able to let you go home in a day or two." He was out the door before I realized he'd avoided my question altogether.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** Just wanted to thank everyone for reading (and those of you who have reviewed) This is not my first fanfic, but is my first in the Twilight realm – and the first I had the courage to post here. It's been months in the making…and the muse & I are still muddling thru it. Hope the end (and the journey there) are worth it, they have been for me (at least so far – LOL!)

_Edward_

I stood in the darkened doorway, watching mother fuss over her sleeping child. This was one of the rare times when Renee fell naturally into that role – normally their roles were reversed. I watched as she leaned over Bella, head tilted to one side as she gazed down at her daughter's face, and I marveled at the depth of love in her expression. She gently smoothed out the covers; her hand brushed a few stray strands of hair from Bella's face as she bent down and placed a soft kiss at her brow.

"You can come in, you know," she whispered. "Charlie left a little while ago." She turned and smiled at me conspiratorially. Though she refrained from outwardly defying her ex-husband's wishes, I could see she derived a giddy pleasure from 'sneaking' me in on the sly.

"I knew you wouldn't be long – not after Alice called you." I decided against informing her that Alice's 'call' came without utilization of a cell phone. She turned back to look at Bella. "I'm only sorry that she's not awake to see you. You _should_ be able to visit whenever you want," she added petulantly.

It was just as well that I couldn't see her when she was awake. Much as I longed to see her deep brown eyes, ached to see her smile, I couldn't bear to have her look at me again and not know me. Couldn't live with seeing her recoil from my touch. And making my presence known during the day was not an option.

When Charlie wasn't hovering over his daughter, he had enlisted the assistance of Jacob Black and his father, Billy, to ensure that his edict was followed. It was a duty Jacob performed gleefully; he spent the days chatting with Bella and ingratiating himself with Chief Swan – who seemed more than happy to see his daughter rekindle any kind of relationship with the boy. I gnashed my teeth through every excruciating minute the dog spent within fifty yards of Bella, but forced myself to stay away. While the thought of rending the whelp limb from limb was more than appealing – something Emmett had cheerfully offered to assist me in, the last thing Bella needed was to see such a display. She was already fragile enough.

And she _was_ fragile – my Bella – in a way she had never been before. The accident – that foolish, reckless accident – had taken away part of her. A part she may never recover. Until her memory returned – if it ever returned – her father was a safe harbor for her. Something familiar, comfortable – in a place where nearly everything else was foreign. Her father didn't want me around her. And I refused to put her through the torment of witnessing a confrontation.

So I stayed away; hidden, thought I rarely strayed far. I shadowed the hallways of the hospital – like a ghost – only returning home for a change of clothing. Once I'd left to hunt. I hadn't been thirsty, but with spending so much time at the hospital – where the potential for exposure to so much blood was...well, it was better to err on the side of gluttony.

"I don't want to cause you trouble..."

"Someday Charlie is just going to have to realize that Bella is all grown up now. He can't keep treating her like a little girl," she replied, a hint of sadness in her voice. And also resignation – that she was old enough to have an adult daughter. "Of course, Bella was born a grown-up," she added with a laugh.

I moved silently toward the bed, examining how the dim lighting of the room accentuated her features. Her skin always had a translucency to it – so delicate looking...and so beautiful. The bruise had changed colors in the few days she'd been in the hospital; it now had blues, reds, and shades of greenish-yellow amidst the purple. And it was a centimeter smaller in diameter. She was healing – on the outside at least. But would her mind heal as easily or as quickly?

She shifted on the slender bed, a soft murmur on her lips. Nonsensical – she was dreaming...again. Carlisle was slowly weaning Bella off the pain medication, the heaviest dose he saved for her last of the night. His reasoning was twofold – a restful night's sleep would speed up the healing process. And, also, it allowed me to observe her up close, without fear that she might waken and be frightened by my presence. I watched the emotions play across her face, wondering what secrets her dreams held. Concentration furrowed her brow, followed by surprise, and then gratitude so palpable that I almost expected to see tears dot her cheeks.

"Dreaming again," Renee said with a sigh. "She's been doing that a lot." Renee's mind was childlike in many ways – her attention span was small. So many thoughts whirled around in her head all at once that, at times, it was difficult to keep up. Therefore, occasionally she managed to catch me off guard. I struggled to hide the shock that registered on my face as I read her thoughts just before she spoke them aloud. "Earlier, she was mumbling some nonsense about onion root and whitefish blastula. Whatever that means."

Bella was dreaming of that biology lab – the day I'd returned after running to Denali in an effort to keep from killing her. All those months ago; the memory of those days was crystal clear in my mind. How the scent of her blood had driven me to distraction – nearly compelled me to murder a classroom of innocent people in order to taste that sweet, fragrant nectar that sang to me.

What did this mean, Bella's dreams? Coupled with Alice's tales of the previous night – where Bella's dreams had been darker – dreams of that awful first day when I'd gazed at her with murderous eyes. Her expression had been fearful then, Alice had told me; Bella had said little, but her face had spoken volumes as I witnessed it through Alice's memories. And then she had woken...and greeted Alice by name. I longed to get Carlisle's thoughts on the matter and debated the idea of calling him.

A hand gently touched my shoulder. "You stay – it will be a few hours before Charlie arrives." Renee smiled at me again and gathered up her purse. "I think I'll curl up on one of those comfortable looking couches in the waiting room."

"You don't have to..."

She waved me off before I could finish and made her way to the door. "Your father says Bella may be able to go home in the next day or two. Isn't that wonderful?" She didn't wait for an answer...and I had none to give her.

Bella home – the eventuality solved some problems...and created others. Chief Swan's home was outside the boundaries that Jacob's pack was normally allowed to patrol, though I knew that would not keep Jacob away. I would not be allowed inside; but then, that had never stopped me before. It wouldn't be the first time I had climbed through her window and watched her sleeping. I had done that for several weeks before she ever knew I was there – I knew how to be quiet. And, during the day, Alice could be counted on to spend time at the Swan home – Charlie would never refuse _her_ entry.

And then, the sooner Bella went home, the sooner she would return to school. Where she would sit at my side nearly every class. Where I would be able to charm her into loving me again, if I so chose. Would she fall as easily when I was actively pursuing her as she did when I had fought internally over whether to include her in my life? Bella never did things the way normal people did, so I didn't know.

'_Such a pensive expression, Edward.'_ I heard her thoughts before she moved silently to my side. _'You must have more faith in Bella's love for you than that.'_

"You say that because you love me, Mom," I teased, the smile not quite reaching my eyes. Esme placed a comforting hand on my arm. "Out running errands?"

In order to perpetuate the illusion our family needed to survive in such a small town, Esme would frequent the local food store – presumably purchasing large quantities of food for her 'growing' family. With three supposedly teenaged boys in her household it was expected that our food purchases would be larger than the norm. With her mothering instincts so pronounced, it could be counted on that Esme would make a bi-weekly run to nearby orphanages and similar institutions with coolers full of food. A late-night, anonymous donation that all were most grateful for. And something her 'children' never ceased to tease her about.

"I just can't bear to see it all go to waste," she whispered. "And, with Bella ill..." she sighed, leaving her thought unspoken, but not unfinished. In the months since Bella's introduction to my family, nearly all of them had attempted to perfect their cooking abilities – using my Bella as their guinea pig. She was a willing subject, though she eventually put her foot down at trying any of the monstrosities Emmett created.

"I'm sorry," I began, expressing my chagrin at using her love of decorating as an excuse for Bella's accident.

"It was necessary," she replied, waving off my apology. She moved forward to gaze down at Bella, her expression nearly mirroring that which I saw on Renee's face earlier. Unlike Carlisle, Esme knew immediately why I had lied to Charlie about the accident, why I refused to do anything that might hurt Bella – even if she never knew that I did so.

"Even if she never remembers," she murmured, stroking Bella's hair tenderly, "She'll still love you. How could she not? Especially once you decide to fight for her and sweep her off her feet."

I could hear the smile in her voice...and the conviction. "You're so certain of that."

"I know you," she said simply. "And I think I know her pretty well too." She leaned down and pressed her lips gently to Bella's forehead.

Esme jumped back in horror as Bella's entire body tensed; both faces alight with shock. Fear and remorse colored Esme's expression. "I – I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," I said quickly, wrapping my arms around my adopted mother as she backed into me. I watched as Bella relaxed, her expression changing from fear to wonder...to suspicion. I leaned my head down, chin resting on Esme's shoulder. "Bella is dreaming. That's all. You did nothing wrong."

"Dreaming?" she questioned, her brow furrowed. "Looks more like a nightmare."

"That's a fair assessment," I agreed, leaning my head to rest against my mother's. "She's dreaming of the day she was nearly crushed by Tyler Crowley's van."

"How...?" Esme pulled from my embrace and faced me. "How do you know that? Has her accident caused..."

"No," I said quickly, shaking my head. "Her mind is still as silent to me as ever." I explained the dreams, how Bella's subconscious seemed to be reliving the past year and a half in chronological order. "That memory just fits within the natural – well, natural for Bella – progression. I wonder..."

"I'll call him for you," Esme said, now answering my unfinished thought.

"Now who's mind-reading?" I teased her again.

She kissed my cheek. "You, my son, are an open book where Isabella Swan is concerned." We turned as Bella started mumbling in her sleep, her expression both confused and defiant.

"How did you...?" she muttered, her brow creased. "No, you were over there."

"See?" Unconsciously I moved to Bella's side, leaning down to whisper the very words I had spoken to her that day. "Trust me."

"I'll tell Carlisle not to hurry," she added, watching me carefully as I gazed down at the only girl in my world. Bella responded to my words as she had that day and I smiled in spite of myself. I turned to look at my mother as she backed toward the door. "Don't waste your time with her worrying about what this might mean. You can talk to Carlisle once you're free." She smiled gently at me again. "She _has_ to love you, Edward. How could she not?"

I crept silently from her room in the pre-dawn hours, just moments before Chief Swan stepped from the elevator to check on her. I made my way down to my father's office – where I knew he was already waiting. He looked up from his desk when I entered, a speculative expression on his face. Obviously Esme had filled him in on what I'd told her.

"Are you certain that she was dreaming of the van?" he asked softly.

"It fits, Carlisle. The night before she had been dreaming of the day we met. Of Jessica telling her about us in the cafeteria and then when she'd walked past me in that biology class. Then, Renee mentioned her earlier dream this past night – of the lab we'd had in biology the day I returned from Denali. If the timeline is staying true..."

I leaned against the desk as Carlisle rose to his feet and began pacing. I could see him mulling over what Bella's dreams might possibly suggest. He capped his own hopes that this could be a good sign, not wanting to give me false expectations.

"I don't know, Edward," he said finally. "It's like an echo – her mind reliving each memory in the order they happened, .slowly revealing her past to her."

"If that's the case, then..."

"Edward, I'm not certain that is what is happening. It seems that way," he cautioned. "I know that's what you wish for, that she'll return to you. And I share that hope – you know that. But I can't guarantee that is what's happening. Even if it is so, we need to tread very carefully. If something is revealed too quickly – before her mind is ready to deal with it...the consequences could be catastrophic. For both of you."


	8. Chapter 8

_Bella_

"_No!_"

"Bells? Honey? Are you okay?" I bolted upright on the couch, staring in confusion at the russet-skinned boy who knelt beside me, a worried expression on his face. He wasn't a boy, really; tall and muscular, he looked a decade older than his sixteen years. I blinked, trying to reorient my surroundings as I attempted to calm my racing heart.

"Jacob?" I croaked, my voice rough with sleep. I looked around the familiar room; the TV across from me, muted images flickering on the screen. I grinned sheepishly. "I fell asleep on you again, didn't I?"

I was home.

"Aw, it's okay," he said agreeably. "I don't mind." He ducked his head at an angle in order to look me in the eye. "You okay?"

"Just another dream, I guess. Happens all the time."

"You wanna talk about it?"

I hesitated. I liked Jacob, he was fun to be with. But there were times, when he looked at me, that I felt uncomfortable – like he wanted more. It was disconcerting, knowing that we'd once had some kind of relationship…yet not knowing what that relationship entailed. And part of me was afraid to ask.

I didn't want him to tell me what I feared he might – that we had been a couple, prior to my accident. I liked Jake – really liked him – but it was another that kept haunting my thoughts. Haunting my dreams.

"I don't really remember what it was about," I lied. I was always a horrible liar. Jacob gave me a long look, but decided not to press. And I was grateful. What could I say? That every dream I had these days seemed to be about Edward Cullen? Considering how Jake felt about Edward's sister, Alice – who spent a lot of time visiting with me as well, to Jacob's consternation – I didn't imagine he'd take _that_ news well. Any time Edward's name was mentioned, both he and my father gritted their teeth and quickly changed the subject.

While I was unsure of my past with Jacob Black, I knew without a doubt that there _had_ been a past for me and Edward Cullen. A past that, apparently, no longer existed. I knew we had been together – though no one in my house would mention it. Not even Alice – when she was visiting – mentioned that I had dated her brother. But my father had forgotten to remove the evidence.

First, there was the scrapbook – a present from Renee, presumably, since a birthday card from her was just inside the front cover. And there he was – on the first page; standing in my father's kitchen, smiling a devastating smile into the camera. A few pages in I found used plane vouchers – one with each of our names – for a trip to Jacksonville, used not even a month ago.

Edward was what my parents had been arguing over in the hospital. What neither of them wanted to tell me. Did Charlie blame him for my accident? Was that why he had banished Edward from my life? Edward seemed to agree with him, because he stayed away. Or maybe it was just the excuse he needed to rid himself of a nobody like me.

"Bella?" Jacob's frown deepened. He examined me closely, as if trying to pull the truth from my lips.

"Let's go somewhere," I said suddenly, getting to my feet.

"Go somewhere?" he said doubtfully. His arms were positioned around me; close, but not touching me – as if he expected me to collapse at any moment and was preparing to catch me before I hit the ground. "I don't know Bells…you still look pretty beat."

"You look more worn out than me, Jake. Don't you ever sleep?" I gazed in concern at the deep circles under his eyes. "You need to stop running around all night with your friends," I teased.

"Sure, sure."

"And are you sure you're not coming down with something. Your skin feels like it's on fire."

"I told you, Bells, I just run hot." He took hold of my hand. "Okay…where do you want to go?" he asked, almost as if he were trying to change the subject.

"I-I don't know. I'm going back to school tomorrow…I just thought it would be nice to get out of the house for a little while."

"If you're sure your dad won't get mad…"

"I'm going to be with you, Jake," I replied, grinning. "I think he'd be thrilled." I fought to keep my voice even; Jacob didn't need to know that there were times I wished he were someone else.

"How about La Push?" he suggested. "We could go down to First Beach…"

I shivered. Even though it was late spring, the temperature would still be chilly down by the water.

"C'mon…I'll build us a driftwood fire." He grinned, tugging me out the door. "And since you keep saying my skin is burning, I'm sure I can keep you warm."

I laughed; it was a hollow sound. This wasn't exactly what I'd been hoping for when I suggested an outing. But how could I get out of it now? And without hurting his feelings?

Despite my protests that I wanted to drive – to re-familiarize myself with my truck, Jacob pulled me toward his Rabbit and opened the passenger door for me. With a sigh, I conceded defeat and climbed inside.

"So…" he said after several awkward silent moments, "you ready for all the insanity of tomorrow?"

I groaned; it would be just like the first day of school. Everyone staring at me. Only this time it wouldn't be 'look at the new girl' it would be 'look at poor little brain-damaged Bella'.

"I'm not even sure why I'm going…I can't possibly pass my finals and graduate." I sighed. "I'll be like the circus sideshow freak. Don't get too close – she may snap."

"Bella," Jake shook his head. "No one would ever call you a freak."

'_Lauren would,'_ I thought, not remembering much about the girl, but knowing she didn't like me. Not at all. And somehow I just knew that her feelings for me had not changed one iota.

"So," he said, once we'd reached the beach. He lit a fire and pulled me down beside him on an old driftwood log. "How much do you remember?"

"Not much," I admitted. "A few weeks…maybe." I grinned at him, trying to make light of the situation. "I don't even remember meeting you. Were you as much of a jerk then?"

"Nah," he grinned back. "I grew into it." I shivered in the cool breeze and burrowed deeper into my jacket. "You cold?" Jacob asked.

"A little."

He pulled me in front of him and toward him, until my back was leaning against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear. "Better?"

It was a moment before I could answer. I was instantly warmer, but Jacob's closeness made me uncomfortable. That underlying secret that was just out of my reach. His arms around me felt…nice, but I didn't want it to feel that way. It was all so confusing.

"Better," I said finally. Quickly, I was almost too warm. It was a drowsy kind of warm and I realized too late that I probably should have taken this last day to just rest as Jake had suggested. I leaned my head against his shoulder and fought to keep my eyes open.

"Jake?" I asked sleepily.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"I know Dr. Cullen said that you shouldn't tell me too much – things that I should figure out on my own." I frowned, not quite sure what I was trying to say anymore. "But…can't you even tell me how we met? What could it hurt?"

"I don't know…"

"Please?" I pleaded.

"Okay," he sighed. "I guess I can tell you that much." He rested his chin on my shoulder; his shaggy hair tickled my cheek and I shifted uneasily in an attempt to put a little space between our faces. Jacob just ignored my actions.

"We met right here," he said quietly, his mouth close to my ear.

"At First Beach?"

"Uh huh. You had come with a bunch of kids from school." As he said that I wondered if Edward and Alice had been part of the beach going party. He chuckled as he remembered something. "I remember you rolled your eyes when I called you Isabella."

"Did I?" He nodded. "That was rude of me. I'm sorry, Jake."

"No harm done," he said dismissively. "I figured you were just tired of having to correct everyone by then."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Everyone at school called me Isabella at first. Edward was the only one who…" I broke off as Jacob stiffened behind me.

"I better get you back," he said, climbing to his feet and helping me up. "We didn't tell anyone where we were going. Someone might worry."

Someone was worried. When we arrived back at Charlie's, Alice was pacing anxiously in the front yard, rubbing her forehead as if trying to iron out all the creases there.

"Bella!" she cried as she saw us pull up. She danced over to the car and swept me into her arms. "I was so worried. There was no note…no one knew where you were, and I couldn't see…" Her eyes widened as she broke off; then she glared at Jacob.

"I told Charlie I'd cook something for Bella and keep her company until he gets home tonight," she said coldly. "I'm sure you have things you need to take care of, don't you?"

She turned her attention to me. Her hands rested on my arms, her topaz eyes assessing my face. "You look worn out, Bella," she scolded, raising a hand to my forehead. I started at the iciness of her touch.

"Geez, Alice…did you just have your hands in a block of ice?"

I turned to look at Jacob, who was glaring at Alice just as fiercely as she'd looked at him. Would these two ever get past whatever it was that made them enemies?

"Thanks Jake," I said, begging him with my eyes to behave. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?" His gaze was wary, but he nodded and headed back to his car.

Alice led me inside, babbling about the different meals she was considering cooking for me and which I would prefer.

"Alice?"

"Yes Bella?" She led me into the house and settled me into one of the mismatched chairs in Charlie's kitchen.

"We're friends, right?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course we are," she trilled. I loved listening to her voice; it was like wind chimes and I often wondered how it would sound if she sang. "You're like a sister to me, Bella."

"Then…" I paused, wondering if I had the courage to ask her what I really wanted. "Can't you tell me about…about Edward?" I blurted out finally.

Alice froze; she turned and looked at me appraisingly. "What do you remember?"

I frowned. I was getting tired of that question. "I remember him saving me from being crushed by Tyler's van," I started. "And I know he and I must have dated…"

"Why do you say that?" she asked warily.

"I have pictures upstairs…and the plane vouchers. He and I went to visit Renee in Jacksonville…"

Alice moved to sit beside me. I could see so many emotions warring with themselves flicker across her face. She opened her mouth to speak and then sighed, resigned, and I knew I would get no answers from her.

"Carlisle feels it would be too dangerous…"

"Never mind, Alice," I said, defeated. "I understand." Even though I didn't – not at all. I rose to my feet. "Don't worry about dinner…I'm not hungry. I think I'll just go to bed."

"Do you need any help?" she called after me as I slowly headed up the stairs.

"No thank you." I took a quick shower, washing the briny scent of the sea from my skin and hair, pulled my night clothes on and headed for my room.

As I climbed into the bed, I spied my CD player sitting on the night table. I turned the volume on low and hit play. A soft melody filled the room and I closed my eyes, imagining a grand piano, fingers gliding effortlessly over the keys. I'd listened to this CD often in the few days I'd been home; it had no label, so I didn't know who the artist was. But it calmed me when nothing else would. I sighed and let the music lull me to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

_Edward_

The night was dark, the clouds heavy, obscuring the moon and the promising scent of rain was in the air. I rushed from the forest, unseen by human eyes and headed for the tree outside Bella's window. I raised a hand in acknowledgement of Emmett as he raced toward home.

I scaled the spruce tree effortlessly and moved to ease the window open, surprised when it wouldn't budge. I examined the window closely, my eyes narrowed when I noticed the latch firmly tucked in place. I leapt to the ground, cursing the dog under my breath as I made my way silently to the front door and reached under the eave.

"If he removed the key..." I growled, breaking off my oath as my hand closed around the small piece of metal. I eased the door open with the stealth a burglar would kill for, replaced the key, and pushed the door silently shut.

Once inside I paused, inhaling deeply. Bella's scent permeated the room and I felt the familiar burn in the back of my throat as it washed over me. The fragrant air hit me with the same force it always had, but I was in better control of it than I had ever been.

Though her blood was the sweetest I had ever tasted, my desire for it was but the tiniest fraction of my desire – my love – for the girl. It was the gentle, melodic beat of Bella's heart that sang to me now, and I raced up the stairs to hear its symphony.

Though Alice had warned me the night before that Bella was falling asleep to my lullaby – _her_ lullaby, it still took my breath away to see how content she looked in sleep. That something I created could inspire such a peaceful expression...though, to be fair, she had been the inspiration for the melody in the first place.

Alice had another warning for me tonight – one that had my hopes soaring, try as I might to contain them. Bella had asked her about me; had mentioned finding evidence of our life together. Something her father had apparently forgotten to hide or destroy. Carlisle was cautiously optimistic, but agreed with Alice's decision to not answer Bella's question.

I was torn – Bella knew we had a past; why allow her to draw the wrong conclusion? And my Bella was notorious for getting things wrong. Oddly, it was one of her most endearing qualities – and the most frustrating.

I crossed the darkened room and settled into the old rocking chair, a strange sense of déjà vu overcame me. How many times had I sat here watching her, even before she ever learned of my presence? Fear kept me from her side now as it had then; though the reasons behind the fear were worlds apart. Back then, her closeness was a temptation in the blackest sense; her scent, the rhythmic flow of her pulse called me to her side. Beckoned me to take her, to place my teeth against her fair, delicate flesh, and drain her life-force from her.

I had resisted, because I loved her; though I had not admitted that at the time, not even to myself. Now the temptation was not her blood, but her warmth. The soft feel of her body nestled against mine; the intoxicating perfume of her hair as my face was buried in it, a fragrant combination of her own unique scent and the strawberry shampoo she preferred. The way her heart would race, beating out an unsteady rhythm whenever I touched her. How she would snuggle close to me, despite the cold, and sigh my name in her sleep.

"Edward."

I started at the sound of her voice, almost as if she'd heard my internal longing. Would hearing her speak my name never cease to affect me? She shifted on the small bed and I searched carefully for any sign of distress. Finding none, I settled back into the chair; I could see from the way her eyes moved beneath their pale lids that she was dreaming and I wondered where her dreams would lead her this night. Would it be closer to me?

"Why would you do that?" she mumbled, frowning; and I suppressed a smile. The spring dance, I thought. That oaf Mike Newton had blurted out about Jessica asking him to the dance, hoping that Bella would be disappointed and ask him herself.

"I'm not going to the dance," she muttered with a sigh, her body tensing with the memory. "So, you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude."

The memory tickled me and I snorted aloud at her words. My hand flew to my mouth and I froze in horror as she stilled, worried that I had awoken her. I exhaled softly as she relaxed again and settled back into her dream. I watched the expressions that flashed across her face in amusement as she relived each boy's attempt to win her. I knew at once when Tyler's prom declaration played in her dream; the expression, even now, was still the most comical thing I had ever witnessed and I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

"Stupid Volvo," she growled in her sleep and I watched her foot move beneath the covers as if she were gunning the engine of her decrepit pick-up. Her dream over, Bella rolled on her side and curled into a ball, her exquisite face once more smoothing out into a peaceful, contented expression.

"I love you, Isabella Swan," I whispered fervently, so softly she could not hear me. "Forever. For Eternity." I watched her sleep as long as I dared, finally slipping out her window just before dawn; the sounds of her father rising for the day chasing me from my obsession.


	10. Chapter 10

_Bella_

I awoke to the sound of my father shuffling in the hallway. I groaned and rolled over as a knock sounded at my door.

"Bells?"

"Come in, Dad." I sighed, shivering at the chill in the room. I sat up as Charlie opened the door.

"You ready for today, kiddo?"

"Not in the slightest."

Charlie frowned and gave me an appraising look. "If you're not ready…"

"I thought you were all for me hopping right back on the bike?" I swung my legs off the bed and stood, shivering again.

"I was…I am," Charlie said quickly, but his expression was worried. "But honey, I don't want you to push yourself…"

"I'm fine, Dad," I replied, hoping I wouldn't spend an entire day reassuring people of that – but I didn't hold out much hope. "Besides, I wouldn't want Renee's shopping trip to go to waste."

Renee and I had gone on a brief shopping trip before she'd returned to Florida – to replace some of my clothes that had mysteriously gone missing. It wasn't an extravagant excursion since I was technically still convalescing. And because neither of us had the disposable income such a shopping trip would entail.

My hospital expenses had been paid by Dr. Cullen, and he had waived his fee as well. As my accident had – at least according to him – occurred on his property, he claimed it was only right that his family foot the bill. While I was grateful – neither of my parents could afford a large hospital bill – still I felt uneasy accepting such a generous gift.

"Make sure you dress warmly, it's a bit chilly out there." Charlie looked toward the window and frowned. "Speaking of which…Bells, you'll catch your death if you leave your window open all night."

I followed his gaze and stared in shock. I didn't remember opening my window during the night, but there it sat, open as wide as it would go. Matter of fact, I distinctly recalled Jacob locking that window the day before, a strange smirk on his face. I'd laughed at him as he'd lectured me on the dangers of leaving it unlocked.

"This is _Forks_, Jake. What could possibly be waiting out there for me – a squirrel? No, wait…I know, an errant breeze might attack!" I'd teased and he'd laughed right along with me. But he'd fastened the lock on the window just the same.

"Huh." I bit my lip as I continued to stare at the open window. "I don't remember opening it last night," I admitted; then shrugged. "Guess I did it in my sleep…"

"Have you ever walked in your sleep before?" Charlie asked, his tone suddenly concerned.

"Not that I remember," I replied dryly, "but then I would have been asleep at the time." My father gave me a sharp look.

"You should check with Renee," he said thoughtfully, pursing his lips. "Maybe this is something Dr. Cullen should be informed of. If you're…"

"Ch-Dad," I interrupted. "I think you're blowing this way out of proportion." I pushed him gently toward the door. "I need to get ready for school or I'm going to be late."

"You want me to drive you?"

"No, Dad," I said quickly, hiding my horror at the thought. "I need to get used to driving the truck again. Go," I nudged him again. "Everything's going to be fine," I lied with false confidence.

Once Charlie was downstairs I headed for the shower and prepared for my first day back amongst my peers. Back in my room I pulled out the new jeans and sweater purchased several days ago. The sweater was a deep blue, a lacy-knit with a sweetheart neckline; delicate, feminine - not as warm as Charlie probably would have liked. But I had been drawn to the sweater the moment I'd laid eyes on it.

I ran a brush through my damp hair, checked the clock, and groaned. I _was_ running late. I hastily grabbed up my things and rushed downstairs. I glanced at the kitchen, torn between grabbing a quick slice of toast and dashing out the door. The door won – I was already going to be the focus of everyone at school; being late on the first day back would only compound matters.

I jumped at the loud roar of my truck's engine as I turned the key in the ignition. "Certainly can't hide in this thing," I said wryly, as I put it in gear and drove the two miles to school.

Students were milling about in the parking lot – nearly full thanks to the lateness of the hour. I pulled onto the pavement and it looked – to me at least – as if every head turned in my direction. I sighed and rolled my eyes; this day was going to be pure torture. As I turned into one of the few remaining spots I caught sight of Alice, standing near a shiny silver Volvo; chatting softly – forcefully – with the person standing next to her – someone who was staring right at me.

Edward.

The intensity of his gaze startled me and I felt my cheeks flame under his scrutiny. Why? Why was he so interested in me now? I'd only seen him once since the accident, when I first awoke in his home the day it happened – and those memories were hazy and confusing. My only other memories of him – if they were real – were the ones that haunted my nights…and even those were baffling, alternating between amiable and almost frightening.

I climbed from the cab and grabbed my things. My first stop was the office – I needed a copy of my schedule and a map; everything about this day was reorienting myself to my old life. I walked quickly across the campus, my gaze lowered as I avoided all the staring faces.

"Well, at least one thing hasn't changed," I muttered under my breath as I stumbled over my own two feet. I righted myself quickly and moved on. From the corner of my eye I thought I saw Edward start when I tripped, Alice grabbing his arm to stop him; but when I turned to look at them, they were talking quietly – neither looking in my direction. With a sigh I turned my attention back to walking.

The secretary, Ms. Cope, fluttered around me as if I were about to collapse any moment while she retrieved the information I needed. Even Mrs. Hammond, the school nurse – who peeked her head out at the commotion, gazed at me as if she fully expected to see me cross her office door before the day was out. I sighed, thanked Ms. Cope, and headed back outside.

I trudged unwillingly across the campus toward the building where my English class was held. The lot was empty of students now – the first class of the day having already started. I groaned, not looking forward to entering the full classroom to find twenty pairs of eyes staring at me. I paused at the door, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

Mr. Berty had already begun his lecture; he never paused, only nodded to acknowledge my presence. I knew all of the staff – and probably all of the student body – knew of my accident and I imagined the teachers were planning on giving me quite a bit of leeway in the weeks remaining. As I had lamented to Jacob previously, there was no way I could graduate this year – not when I remembered nothing that had been taught in the past eight months.

I glanced around the room in search of an empty seat. As I suspected, every single pair of eyes was on me…except one. Edward's gaze was focused on the notebook in front of him, the pen in his hand moving swiftly across the page. Nearly every seat was filled. One available space remained – the only seat left – right next to Edward Cullen.

I froze, my face flooding with color. My heart pounded so fast and hard I thought everyone in the room could hear it. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself.

What would I say to him? Would he talk to me? Ask me why I hadn't called him? Or explained why I hadn't heard from or seen him? Or would he ignore me altogether – as he had when I first moved to Forks?

"Miss Swan? Are you all right?" Mr. Berty paused in his lecture to look at me, concerned.

"Yes sir," I mumbled. I watched my feet as I made my way to the half-empty desk next to Edward. I set my books on the table and slid into the seat, leaning forward until my hair hid my face from him, my cheeks flaming.

"Bella?" he whispered; the sound of his voice made my heart skip a beat.

"Yes?" My whispered reply ended with a squeak as my voice broke.

"What's wrong?" I could hear the concern in his voice and it surprised me. Did he care? And if he did, why had he stayed away? I shook my head, knowing that if I tried to answer, my voice would give me away. I blinked, fighting the moisture that was building behind my eyes.

I saw his hand flex on his thigh, almost as if he were going to reach out to me. But then it fell back against his leg, tightening into a hard fist – so much like the way he had sat the first day I had met him. Yet, when I got the nerve to peer at him through my hair, his expression was soft. His eyes were a rich gold today, awash with sympathy, kindness.

Pity, I thought, dropping my gaze; my chin drooped, nearly touching my chest. He knew how I felt about him…and he felt sorry for me. How could I have even imagined that someone like Edward Cullen could feel anything but pity for someone like me?

The rest of the morning was like a sick joke out to constantly torment me. Aside from Calculus, my every class was spent with Edward in the chair next to me. I could feel his gaze on me throughout every hour. And when Mike Newton offered to walk me to lunch, I could almost hear his teeth snap together.

It made no sense at all. Why should he care – he _didn't_ care…did he?


	11. Chapter 11

_Edward_

Limbo.

If I had ever questioned the existence of that place between Heaven and Hell, I doubted it no longer. If Heaven was my life – my existence – spent with Bella at my side, and Hell was the black months I had forcefully separated myself from her; then the exquisite torture of the past few hours had to be where the two met.

As I'd expected, sitting next to her hour upon hour was both pleasure and pain. Being so close I could feel the heat radiating from her; every sigh, every accelerated heartbeat, each time blood colored her silken cheeks, was a maddening puzzle I ached to solve.

Refraining from reaching out and touching her was proving to be an exercise in restraint nearly as difficult as it had been to spare her life in the days when we first met. Perhaps even more so. I was aware of every solitary move she had made from the second she'd stepped out of her truck this morning. When she had stumbled in the parking lot, only Alice's hand on my arm and her quick words of warning had kept me from literally flying to Bella's side.

"Don't forget this was your idea," Alice had said to me. Her face was lit up, a smirk curling her lips. She knew I would never be able to hold to my resolve; it was only a matter of time as far as she was concerned. But then her expression had sobered. "But Carlisle is right, Edward. You need to take care. I know you will be unable to stay away – it's inevitable," she said with a slight knowing grin, "but you must take things slowly. For Bella's sake."

For Bella's sake. For her I had spent the fourteen thousand, four hundred seconds before lunch yearning to touch her hair, to stroke her cheek, to hold her hand. And I could do none of these things. If she had even given me the slightest encouragement, my resolve would have crumbled in an instant. But she walked into English and looked at the empty seat beside me with a horrorstruck expression. As if the idea of being anywhere near me was abhorrent.

She avoided my gaze as she sat down beside me, her face flooded with color. Even when, helpless to stop myself, I spoke to her, she refused to look at me when she answered. The tenor of her voice alarmed me, so near tears, and I nearly reached for her then. Why was she crying? Was she hurt? Sick? Ready to whisk her off to my father if necessary, I asked, unable to keep my tone light. But she just shook her head, her gaze fixed on the table in front of us.

Jaw locked, my fists clenched tight against my thighs in a cruel mockery of my position that day nearly a year and a half ago, I sat at her side. Only my eyes betrayed me; soft, they held all the love and concern I felt for her as they never left her. She had to know I was staring – had to feel my gaze burning into her – yet, save for one quick glance through the curtain of her mahogany tresses, her expression first confused and then sorrowful, she ignored my attentions.

My eyes drank her in; the blush that never seemed to fade from her face, the new sweater she wore, my favorite color, that almost seemed to be worn specifically to torment me further. But what I wanted most was to see her eyes – the one unspoken request she seemed determined to deny me. The brief glimpse I had gotten in English class worried me – the sadness in them was agony. Why was she sad? Was it because I hadn't been to see her – at least not that she was aware of. Or, did she wish that she weren't forced to sit beside me, forced to communicate with me – though she only spoke when absolutely necessary.

As if the pain of being so close were not enough, it seemed the knowledge of her injury had given several of the male student body renewed interest. They noticed the distance between Bella and myself, had drawn their own conclusions – which I could not confirm or deny – and were busy considering their options. Particularly Mike Newton, who had been the bane of my existence in those early days when I had attempted to keep Alice's visions of the future at bay; when I had convinced myself that Bella was merely a curiosity and not my reason for living – if you could call what I do living.

His fantasies spun elaborately now as he noticed how Bella ignored me. He took great delight in that – convincing himself that she had finally seen through my façade and recognized me as the freak I really was. As he wove a plan to garner Bella's attention and, hopefully, affections, a plan of my own formulated in my mind – one that involved propelling the human boy across the room.

'_Edward,'_ Alice's voice rang out in my head as I watched Mike lead Bella to the cafeteria, her thoughts as clear as if she had whispered them in my ear instead of being several buildings away. _'Putting Mike Newton's head through a wall would not be a wise move on your part,'_ she warned and I saw in her head how close I had actually come to putting my thoughts into action. "I don't think scaring Bella half to death would win you any points," she pointed out as we met in the hallway just outside the lunchroom.

"I didn't realize I was that close..."

"Your jealousy does lean toward the extreme when it comes to the Newton boy," she grinned, her voice so soft it would sound like buzzing to anyone near enough to hear. "Sometimes I think you see him as more of a threat than Jacob Black."

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. I didn't see the need to remind her that it was probably the fact that she couldn't see the wolves that led her to that assumption. I knew exactly what was at stake; how every day saw Bella and Jacob grow closer, while I spun helplessly away from the center of my universe.

We all sat at the same table; Bella firmly ensconced between Mike and Angela, Alice and I across from Ben. I was silently thankful once again that Bella had a friend like Angela; her thoughts were filled with making sure Bella wasn't overwhelmed by all the attention the student body seemed to focus on her today. Angela's voice was gentle as she spoke to Bella, questioning her on what she did and didn't remember without prying too deeply.

"I remember almost being a bloodstain underneath Tyler's van." I winced at Bella's choice of words, and the glare she threw my way when she said them.

"That far back? Wow..." Alice nudged me sharply in the ribs as an image of ramming Newton's face into the table top crossed my mind.

"I wouldn't _really_ do it," I muttered so softly no one else could hear.

"I also remember turning you down for the Spring Dance," Bella blurted out, her eyes flaring. Half the people at the table laughed out loud. Alice and I stole a quick glance; both of us fighting a smile. Bella's gaze softened and, as she was wont to do, she tried to smooth things over. "I did have other plans, though."

"So make it up to me," Mike said quickly. "Go to the movies with me tonight."

'_Edward!'_ Alice shouted in my head. I looked down at the piece of twisted metal in my enclosed fist; part of the frame that held the table together. I shoved it into my pocket and pushed quickly from the table, the hand in my pocket crumpling the metal into dust as I hurried a little too quickly from the room.

"I can't go tonight," Bella said softly; I watched through Alice's eyes as Bella's gaze fell upon my back.

"Tomorrow, then." Newton was demanding; the urge to snap his neck was growing stronger. I hurried to my car, flipping through my CDs for something violent; hoping that by listening, my own anger would flow out through the music.

"O – okay." I heard Bella finally agree. Alice made certain to keep her gaze on Bella's face – trying to convince me that Bella had been watching my retreating back the entire time. Her expression was a combination of bewilderment, sadness, and defiance. Probably the most puzzling combination imaginable.

'_She doesn't _want_ to go out with him.'_ Alice tried to placate me, but I didn't believe her. Bella often thought of others before herself, but she would never agree to go out with someone if she didn't want to. She wasn't one to give people false hopes...was she?

I spent the rest of the lunch hour in my car, music blaring at ear-splitting volume. I toyed with skipping the rest of the day, but I knew I wouldn't. Though the thought of sitting beside Bella and being ignored was agony, like an addict, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see her again. And I wanted to make certain she didn't attempt to actually participate in gym class.

I knew Bella despised gym with a passion. I also knew she had a note from my father excusing her from all such physical activities; our current form of torture was basketball. But, Bella being Bella, I couldn't be sure she wouldn't play just to keep people from pitying her, though their pity might be more severe if they actually watched her play.

So I climbed from my car and headed to our History class. I saw her face crumble as I entered and moved to the empty seat beside her; it felt as if a knife had pierced my frozen heart. What we once had was now gone, it seemed. Would my fight for her ever bring it back?

I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw her hand Carlisle's note to Coach Clapp and she made her way to the bleachers to watch the rest of us play. I was distracted, my attention on her as she doodled in her notebook. Was she doing homework, writing a letter, or just merely scratching lines into the paper to pass the time? It was frustrating – this never-ceasing mystery that I could no longer solve by merely asking her.

I was so wrapped up in trying to decipher what Bella was doing and why that I didn't immediately notice the commotion behind me. Austin Marks had attempted to dunk the basketball in the net, but misjudged the distance. He came crashing down on the court, landing badly, and snapped his right leg beneath him.

The scent of blood wafted over to me and I stopped breathing automatically, cutting me off from the temptation. I glanced quickly at him a moment, noting the bone protruding from his shin, and backed away. It took a moment before realization hit and I whirled, my gaze falling on the solitary figure sitting halfway up the bleachers.

"Bella!" Her face wasn't green, it was ashen; her eyes glazed, unseeing. I struggled to keep a human pace as I rushed to her side. I watched horrorstruck as her lips paled; colorless, they trembled. She went limp as I lifted her into my arms and hurried down the bleachers and to the door.

"Cullen!" I heard Coach Clapp bellow behind me.

"Bella faints at the sight of blood," I explained, not looking back as I rushed outside. "Bella...say something. Please?" I hurried toward the school office and the nurse; I had every intention of taking Bella straight to my father, but I wanted to grab a blanket from Mrs. Hammond first, certain that Bella was going into shock. "Bella? Please!"

Her voice was nearly non-existent as she spoke; she trembled violently in my embrace. "Bl-blood-typing." My eyes widened as I realized what her words meant. Ms. Cope's eyes grew wide as I kicked open the office door. I ignored her, rushing past to the nurse's office.

"I knew it," Mrs. Hammond muttered as she spied Bella in my arms.

"I need a blanket," I said in a rush, not bothering to place Bella on the cot. Mrs. Hammond glanced warily at me, wondering whether or not to argue. The glare I bestowed on her was enough to change her mind. "Now," I commanded, continuing in a rush as she hurried to comply with my request. "Austin Marks fell in gym and has a broken leg – you'll need to call an ambulance for him."

As I was telling her this, I heard Ms. Cope answer the office phone; her side of the conversation was enough to tell me that Coach Clapp was giving her a similar rundown.

"I'm taking Bella to my father," I said as Mrs. Hammond considered again whether to suggest I put Bella down so she could examine her. I took the blanket and gently wrapped it around Bella's shivering body and whirled, rushing back out of the office as quickly as I had come.

I pushed the passenger seat back into a reclining position and settled Bella there, strapping her in as she curled on her side. I hurried to the driver's side, turned the ignition and threw the car into gear. If she noticed the speed with which I had moved, she didn't say. I watched her face as I sped through the streets toward the hospital.

"Charlie was right," she groaned softly. "Maybe I should have stayed home today." I chuckled; she was obviously feeling better if she could grumble about getting sick. My fears were further alleviated as her eyes opened and she growled at me in a tone that was supposed to be demanding. "Keep your eyes on the road."

I had to remind myself that she didn't remember how effortlessly a drive through town was for me. I knew it blindfolded – had even driven it that way once on a dare from Emmett. It was endearing – her kittenish fury. I almost smiled in response. Her color was slowly returning and I knew that by the time we reached the hospital she would be trying to diminish what had happened. But the fact that one of her memory flashes had happened while she was awake concerned me, and I wanted to speak to Carlisle about what it might possibly mean.

"This isn't really necessary..." she protested weakly and I did smile this time. How typically Bella – just as I'd suspected. I sighed, knowing that Charlie would have been informed of Bella's collapse by the hospital staff – if the school hadn't already called him. Which meant my time with her was short. I knew now that I'd been fooling myself. No matter what I'd promised her father, I couldn't stay away from her. Bella was my life – there was nothing without her – and it was time I truly started fighting to regain what I'd lost.

"At least let me walk in on my own," she protested again as I scooped her up into my arms and darted for the hospital entrance. "This is so unnecessary..."

"Humor me," I said dryly, asking for my father as soon as I crossed the threshold.

"Why?" she blurted out petulantly. She was angry at me, though I couldn't understand why. Because we'd barely spoken all day? I'd tried, and she'd turned her back on me. It was so frustrating, not only with her mind blocked from me, but knowing that she never took things the way a normal person would. So I couldn't even trust my instincts to tell me what I thought she might be thinking.

"Bella..."

"What do we have here?" Carlisle asked as he entered. I groaned internally; my family almost seemed as determined as Bella's father with keeping me from her.

'_No, Edward,'_ Carlisle's thoughts were gentle; he'd read my expression and guessed I was about to say something I shouldn't. _'I'm not trying to keep you apart,'_ he added knowingly. _'Only trying to protect her from learning too much too quickly. Isn't today proof of how fragile she is?'_ he continued, and I couldn't disagree.

"I'm fine," Bella said quickly. "It was nothing. Just a little dizziness. Austin is the one everyone should be worried about."

"Austin is on his way in," Carlisle mused thoughtfully as he began to examine Bella. "Why don't you tell me what happened?" I took this opportunity to slip out of the room. I knew Carlisle would make sure that, once Austin did arrive, he was placed as far from Bella as possible. And I heard Chief Swan arriving.

He met me in the hallway. "Is Bella all right?" he asked gruffly.

"Carlisle is examining her now," I explained. "Her color is returning, so I think she's past the worst of it."

Charlie turned toward the emergency room. He took a long look at his daughter as she was explaining to my father what had happened – how the sight of Austin's blood had triggered this memory. He paused before going in. "I guess I owe you a thank you," he said grudgingly, turning back to look at me.

"No sir," I said slowly, "It's not necessary." It wasn't what I wanted to say – merely the safest reply. I turned and walked to my father's office – it seemed like I was spending a lot of time there lately. No, I hadn't wanted to tell Charlie that no thanks were necessary. I was angry – angry that, even now – when he'd seen that I put her needs before all else, he still intended to try to keep me away. That he would never forgive me for the mistake I made in leaving Bella all those months ago. Hadn't he made mistakes too? With her mother? Not fighting for her – though I knew there had been extenuating circumstances, with both of his parents in frail health. Still, he hadn't even tried...

I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts. Getting angry with Charlie wasn't going to help my own situation. And, truthfully, wasn't I just compounding my own mistakes by deciding not to fight for Bella. Well, that was going to change.

"Carlisle," I said, before he even had the door open. "What does it mean? She remembered the biology lab – the day they did blood-typing..."

"The sense of smell is a strong trigger, Edward. You know that. I'm not surprised that something that traumatic brought on that particular memory. Are they still progressing in order?"

"It seems that way. But what does it mean? That her conscious mind actually brought the memory forth?"

"I wish I knew." He sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. "It may be an isolated incident. Then again, who can predict what might bring forth other memories." He gazed at me appraisingly. "Charlie is filling out the paperwork to take her home...if you want to see her before she leaves."

I headed toward the emergency room; I paused at the sight of Bella talking quietly on the phone. Who could she be talking to?

"No, Jake," I heard her say softly; I ground my teeth unconsciously at the name that spilled from her lips. "It's no problem. I understand. If it's something you have to do." There was a note of sadness in her voice that cut me; he was breaking a date with her and it made her sad. "Besides, I don't know why you enjoy just sitting around the house with me anyway. Don't worry about it," she said.

Jacob Black was breaking a date with Bella? He never passed up an opportunity to spend time with her, and he was begging off? I could only think of one reason why he would turn down a chance to win her affections. I reached for my phone and dialed. "Emmett. The wolves...they've caught her scent. Victoria."


	12. Chapter 12

_Edward_

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked quietly as we gathered around the dining room table, awaiting Carlisle.

"Jacob Black has barely left Bella's side in the days since her accident," I replied, pacing, impatient to begin the search. "It's the only thing that makes sense."

"So what are we waiting for?" Emmett growled, always up for any type of action.

"Who's watching Bella?" Esme asked softly, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I covered her hand with mine and gave her a wan smile.

"Alice. She's the only one Charlie will let within ten feet of Bella. She dropped off Bella's truck after..." I flinched at the memory of Bella's pale face, lips trembling in shock. "And she waited for them to return."

Esme squeezed my shoulder reassuringly. "How is she?"

"I don't know," I admitted. I was nearly as anxious as Emmett to be doing something other than standing and waiting. I longed to be with Bella – to be certain she was safe, though I knew Alice would protect her almost as vehemently as I. "Carlisle isn't sure what this new development means."

"You should be with her," Esme said sadly. "Instead of standing here contemplating..."

"I want Victoria taken care of," I growled; the image of James' mate was a red haze in my mind. "Tonight."

"She will be," Emmett promised. "Not a problem."

"Victoria isn't our only problem," Carlisle replied as he appeared in the doorway. He held a copy of the day's newspaper in his hand. "This situation in Seattle isn't going to go away on its own. If the Volturi..."

"There's no need to worry about the Volturi now," I interjected. "Bella isn't a threat now..." _'Not that she ever had been,'_ I added to myself. The idea of Bella being a threat to anyone was almost comical. The only threat she posed was to my breaking heart.

"Edward," Carlisle said softly, moving to where Esme and I stood. His arm wrapped around his wife's waist, his other hand gripping my shoulder. "Go to her. We can take care of this."

I sighed, torn. I watched as my family prepared for this 'hunting' trip. Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie examining a map of the Quileute reservation, scoring out a trail that hugged the imaginary line we were forbidden by treaty to cross. We had already had one close call with the wolves – both intent on finding and destroying Victoria, we had met up weeks before in our hunt of her and the boundaries had grayed. While Emmett had no quandary with having a go at Jacob and his pack, I hoped a confrontation could be avoided this time – for Bella's sake.

My gaze flitted back over to my parents. Parents – in nearly every sense of the word; Carlisle and Esme had been fulfilling that role for more than seventy years. They had seen me at my best...and my worst. And still they loved me unconditionally. And now that love had expanded to include Bella. They would fight as hard for her as for any of their 'children'. I remembered little of my real parents – my birth parents – but I couldn't help but wonder if they would be as compassionate. Even before I had begun this new life – before Alice and her stock tips – my birth family had what, at the time would be called considerable wealth. With that wealth came responsibility, Elizabeth Masen would caution. Though I, at seventeen, had never shown any interest in any of the appropriate young ladies of the time, it would have been expected of me to make an advantageous marriage. Would Elizabeth Masen have approved of Isabella Swan – the daughter of a mere public servant?

The strongest human memories I retained were of my mother; how fiercely protective she was of me, how frightened she was of the war – and my fervent desire to join the fight. Had I come to her professing my affections for a young woman with the same vehemence as I'd yearned for war, I know she would have rejoiced. And yet...I could almost see her lips thin in disapproval at the thought of my marrying so far below my station.

"I wouldn't underestimate the Volturi," Jasper said quietly, breaking through my reverie. "I don't know that they would take Bella's injury into consideration – especially with the knowledge that some of her memories have already returned..."

"Why are we even worrying that the wolves have caught Victoria's scent?" Rosalie scoffed. "Let the dogs take care of her. Isn't that what they're here for?"

"I don't want that _creature_ anywhere near Bella," I spat, a flare of anger at Rosalie's renewed jealousy. I had thought she had gotten past that long ago. Then I realized – Bella now had a second chance "to make the right choice". To have what Rosalie would give anything for.

"Why should the pack have all the fun?" Emmett grumbled.

"Idiot," Rosalie hissed at him.

"You know you love me," he grinned back at her, reaching to grab her at the waist.

"We're wasting time here!" I growled. "You can stand around and debate all night on strategies. I'm going!" I turned my back on my family and raced outside. I barely noticed the trees whipping past me as I moved through the darkened forest. I headed toward the boundary line – I knew that was where Victoria would do her dance.

'_Edward!'_ Emmett's thoughts shouted from behind me. I saw my own back, growing smaller even as he tried to catch up to me. _'C'mon bro! Wait up!' _Further behind him I heard the rest of my family; some contrite, the others, sympathetic. I slowed infinitesimally, allowing Emmett to reach my side.

'_Knew you'd come around,' _he grinned, reaching out to punch my shoulder. I darted to the left, through the trees, and out of his reach. His grin faded.

'_Sorry. I know things are...rough right now. What with Bella...'_ Emmett paused; then tried a different tactic. '_You know we all want to protect her – will do everything in our power to keep her safe. We just think...'_

"I know what you think," I interrupted, my tone sour.

Emmett let out one bark of a laugh. "Guess you do at that. It's just..."

"Let it go, Em. Okay?" I knew what they thought, that everyone thought I was overreacting. That I should let the pack take care of Victoria and concentrate on Bella. They all missed her.

That surprised me. I knew how deeply Alice and Esme felt; they, and Carlisle, already considered Bella family. But the others – Emmett and Jasper, particularly – the depth of their feelings brought me up short.

But I couldn't let Victoria walk, not again. And I couldn't trust the wolves to 'take care of the problem'. If that were the case, Victoria would have been gone months ago. Yet, I longed to be with Bella; to watch her sleeping, certain that, as long as I was near, she would be safe.

I slowed, almost convinced to step aside and let my family do this for me. Almost turned to run to Bella's side. But then, in the same second as the scent washed over me, I saw her. Flame-red hair taunting me through the darkness; some distance away, but not insurmountable.

"Victoria!" I hissed and sped up again, Emmett on my heels, his growl nearly as fierce as mine.

She was good at this dance – James' mate – she somehow knew just when to slip from our side of the line to the Quileute's and back again. I heard several of the pack growl, their frustration as evident as ours. Victoria deliberately refrained from thinking of Bella; almost as if this dance was not about her finding and punishing my love for the death of her mate. As if she were trying to lead us away from Bella. It didn't make sense, but I was suddenly filled with apprehension.

"Bella," I whispered, fear burning through me.

'_Go, Edward,'_ Emmett told me silently. _'We've got this covered. Go.'_

I needed no further prodding, though Carlisle and Esme echoed Emmett's thoughts vehemently. My desire to ensure Bella was safe overpowered me and I whirled, mid-stride, taking off through the forest – back toward Forks. Barely a few moments later I was scaling the tree; meeting up with Alice in the branches just outside Bella's window.

'_She's fine, Edward,'_ she reassured me quickly, though I knew my fear would not be completely abated until I saw for myself. "Did you...?"

"They're on her trail now," I said softly. "She's still dancing the line."

Alice patted my arm gently. "Everything will work out...somehow. You'll see." She prepared to leap to the ground; then turned back to me, a warning in her gaze. "She's been...restless tonight."

I nodded, seeing her memories of Bella, tossing and turning on the slender bed. Nearly catching Alice there more than once, when her dreams had awoken her suddenly. It seemed I would have to take extra care tonight. I slipped into the window and closed it silently behind me, not wanting the cold night air to disturb Bella.

I could see immediately the truth in Alice's words. Bella's hair was knotted impossibly from her tossing and turning; she would have a rough time of untangling it in the morning. Her covers were twisted around her legs, offering no warmth or protection. I longed to straighten them out; yearned even more strongly to gather her in my arms and comfort her, though I was unsure what it was this night that tormented her dreams.

Then Bella spoke; uttering something that would have had my blood running cold, if blood still flowed through my veins.

"Jacob."

I had no words to describe the pain the sound of his name spilling from her lips caused me. What was she dreaming? Was this a new dream – brought on by her unhappiness that he had broken their...date? The word stuck in my throat, though I did not utter it aloud. Or, was this an old memory resurfacing? And, if so, what memory was it?

Her fingers curled into a fist and then relaxed again as she turned from her side onto her back. "Jacob? What's wrong?" she muttered, confusion and fear coloring her voice.

"No!" I barely had time to get out of sight before Bella bolted upright in the bed. Her eyes were wide, flashing about the room as if she knew she were being watched. And then I knew. Knew exactly what that dream had been about. She knew, she remembered Jacob Black telling her about us. About the cold ones.

So often in the days since her accident I had found myself of two minds. One, wishing for her memory to return; for her to return to me, to us. The other, fearful that, this time around, she would react the way a human was supposed to react to learning someone was a monster. That she would run, screaming from me...never to return.

Now she knew. What would that knowledge mean to her? Was she, as before, in love with me and unable or unwilling to stop it, though she should. Or, would she fear me now, as was only right – to fear something as grotesque as I was. Would I let her run – if that was what she wanted? Could I? I watched her a moment longer; then slipped from the tree to land soundlessly on the ground, my phone vibrating in my pocket as I landed on my feet.

I knew it was Alice before I reached for it; she had to have seen me slip from Bella's room. Had known it was safe to call. And there could be only one reason for her to call.

"Victoria?" I hissed into the mouthpiece.

"She had a car waiting," Alice replied sadly. "They lost her." I growled out a low curse and slammed the phone shut.


	13. Chapter 13

_Bella_

"No!" I bolted upright in the bed, a scream torn from my throat. My eyes wide with fright, I fought against the wave of dizziness my sudden movement had caused. Heart hammering in my chest, I fumbled for the light.

The loud click of the light switch echoed in the quiet room. I blinked against the brightness even as my eyes scanned every inch of space contained within the four walls.

I shivered, unable to shake the feeling that I was being watched, though I could see that I was in the room alone. "No…no…" I kept repeating, the images conjured by my dream playing on a continuous loop in my mind.

"Bells? Ow!" The sound of Charlie's voice startled me, as did the thump of him running into something in the hall as he hurried to my room. Disheveled, he appeared in my doorway. My frightened gaze met his and I saw the color drain from his face.

"Bella?"

I shook violently as the dream kept twisting and battering my thoughts. I saw my father's concern; his questions hung in the air, unspoken and unanswered. What could I say to him? I couldn't tell him my fears, couldn't let him in on the memory my dreams had uncovered.

Was it even real? How could it be? Jacob was there, but it was a Jacob so unlike the one I knew now. Yet I knew that I had only known Jake a little more than a year – this memory was from the day we had met…on the beach in La Push. How could he have grown so much in such a short time?

And Edward. I trembled as the image of him, his skin softly glowing in the dim light, appeared before my eyes. Beautiful and frightening at the same time. How could what I learned in my dream possibly be real?

"Bells," Charlie sat beside me and put his arm around me. He gathered my blanket up and wrapped it around my shoulders. "Bella, honey…say something."

I tried to remember the last time my father attempted to comfort me this way. I think I was five; I'd broken my arm when Charlie was trying to teach me how to ride a bike. I leaned into his chest, trying to draw strength from his awkward embrace. Outward displays of affection were difficult for my father; I had to give him credit for the effort.

"Ju-just a nightmare," I stammered into his shoulder. His arm tightened as I shuddered again.

"Must have been a pretty bad one," he said, tilting his head to one side and trying to meet my eyes. "Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head. "I don't really remember it," I lied, hoping he would think the tremor in my voice was from fear. And I was afraid. Because, aside from learning the truth about Edward and his family – Alice too, I realized suddenly – aside from recalling their secret this night, I also came to a realization that I may have known all along about Edward Cullen. I was in love with him…and he, for whatever reason, no longer loved me. If he ever had.

The pain of that realization hit me harder than any pain I could remember. I took several deep breaths, fighting back the tears I felt threatening. My father was worried enough by the shaking I couldn't seem to stop; if I started sobbing, he would be packing me into the car for the hospital. I needed to get him out of the room before I broke down. I drew in another shaky breath and spoke.

"It's okay, Dad. I'm fine. Just a dream." I squared my shoulders and looked up at him. "Go back to bed, Dad. You need your beauty sleep," I teased.

"You need rest too, Bells," Charlie replied, his tone serious. "Maybe you should stay home tomorrow…"

"No…no, Dad. It's fine. But you are right – I do need to try and get at least a little more sleep," I added, maneuvering myself out of his embrace. "Really Dad, it's okay."

Charlie didn't look convinced, but he stood slowly, leaning down to press a quick kiss to the top of my head, and then headed toward the door. "If you change your mind…"

"I won't, Dad. Go back to sleep."

The door closed behind him and I settled back on the bed and flipped off the light. I curled into a ball, wrapped around a pillow, and let the darkness overtake me. Burying my face, I gave in to the tears that shook my frame. Tears that encompassed so many conflicting emotions; fear, joy…and pain.

Edward was a vampire – could it be possible that vampires actually exist? Impossible…and yet there was something about him – something that defied description. Something…_more_ than the average human boy.

And I loved him – a love stronger than any I had felt before. Even knowing what he was – what he might be – and what that may mean, still I loved him. And, at some point – if the photos and the plane tickets were any indication – he must have cared for me. Could I somehow make him care for me again?

I realized then that Edward had been the main catalyst for my agreeing to Mike's demand. I'd said yes to him in the hopes of making Edward jealous, though it fell short of the mark, I was sure, as Edward had stormed from the room before I ever agreed. Now I was stuck – going out with Mike Newton…when he was the last person I wanted to spend time with.

I sighed and huddled up into a tighter ball, still unable to shake off the chill that kept me hovering between sleep and wakefulness. I closed my eyes, inching slowly toward unconsciousness and a strange, waking dream played behind my lids.

Edward was there, watching me; eyes soft, a mixture of love and torment on his beautiful face. He swept quickly to the hallway and back again, a thick blanket in his arms which he draped over me, smoothing it across my shoulders with the gentlest of touches.

I felt the added warmth immediately; I stretched out, my body relaxing, and I sank deeper. I felt his eyes on me, as small smile playing on his lips as I sighed. "Thank you, Edward," I mumbled, nearly incoherently.

"You're welcome," he whispered. The dream seemed so real I could almost feel his fingers as they brushed gently against my hair. "I love you, Bella."

"Me too," I replied on a garbled sigh. I heard him chuckle softly; felt his cool lips press to my temple ever so briefly. A contented smile spread across my face and I dreamt no more.

When I awoke in the morning, the dream was still so fresh in my mind that I was surprised to not find an extra blanket lying across my shoulders. I sighed, almost disappointed to find it had been a dream. I climbed from the bed and readied myself for another day at school – another day of sitting next to Edward, hour after hour.

I grabbed a bowl of cereal and sat across from Charlie, whose face was hidden behind a newspaper. He looked up appraisingly as I sat. "How are you doing, Bells?"

"I'm fine, Dad. Really. I'm sorry about last night…"

He waved me off. "As long as you're all right. You manage to get any sleep?"

"Yeah, actually I did…eventually." I took a deep breath, knowing I'd better tell Charlie about my plans for that evening. "Dad? Can you handle dinner on your own tonight?"

"Bells," he said exasperated, as he did whenever we had this conversation. "I do know how to throw some lunchmeat between two pieces of bread."

"How nutritious," I muttered, rolling my eyes.

"Why?" he asked suddenly, his tone wary.

"Well, Dad…see, I…I sort of have a date tonight. Dad?" I stood quickly and moved around the table to pat him on the back as he choked on his coffee. "Are you okay?"

Charlie stared at me a moment, trying to gauge my expression. Then he grinned, convinced he must have been overreacting, I guessed. "You and Jake going somewhere?" he asked finally, his grin widening.

"No, Dad. Not Jake. Someone from school." This time I took the coffee cup out of his hands before he dropped it. His face turned bone white and I could imagine who he was thinking of…the same one I wished was my date for the evening. "I think you know him…Mike Newton?"

"The Newton kid?" Charlie replied, confused, but the color seemed to be returning to his face. "I didn't know you liked him."

"We're friends…at least I think we are," I added ruefully. "It's nothing serious." That was an understatement. "I think it's just a movie…maybe dinner before."

"That's great, kid. I'm sure you'll have a good time."

Well, that made one of us. I offered to clean up the breakfast dishes so Charlie could head off to work. I hurried through them, not wanting to be late to my first class for a second day in a row.

I pulled into the parking lot much as I had the day before. People still stared at my red truck as I found a parking space; then at me as I made my way across toward the English building. Mike trotted up to me and offered to walk me to class. A cursory glance around and I spied Edward and Alice standing beside the silver Volvo. Alice smiled and waved to me. I waved back and settled into a rhythm beside Mike as we headed toward English.

Edward beat us there. He was sitting at our desk, just like yesterday; only today he looked up as I entered the room and looked right at me. I felt a jolt of electricity as our eyes met and I dropped my gaze quickly, my cheeks flaming. I thanked Mike for walking with me, hoping that he would take the hint and not lead me all the way to my desk.

That hope was in vain. Not only did he stay at my side until I was in my seat, he took that moment as an opportunity to reaffirm our plans for that evening. Dinner and a movie, it seemed. I groaned inwardly as he told me the name of the movie he wanted to see – the latest romantic comedy. I hoped it was heavy on comedy and light on romance.

"And I thought we'd go to La Bella Italia…"

"Umm…Mike. Isn't there somewhere else we can eat?" I said quickly; I wasn't certain why, but there was something about the name that tugged at my memory.

"You don't like Italian?"

"I do, it's just…" I struggled to put my feelings into words. Mr. Berty entered the room and I shooed Mike away. "We'll talk about it later."

I felt Edward's eyes on me as I pulled the correct book and my notebook out of my bag. I darted a quick glance in his direction without turning my head, but I couldn't see his expression clearly.

"Good morning, Edward." I said softly, in what I hoped was a genial tone.

"Hello." His voice was like honey; warm, smooth, and unbearably sweet. "How are you feeling?"

My heart fluttered with hope at his words; that they were an indication that he may still have feelings for me. I fought to stifle that hope; not wanting to have my heart wounded further when he rejected me again.

"I'm sorry…about yesterday…"

"Why?" he blurted out, surprised. "Bella," he continued before I could reply; the sound of my name had my heart racing again and I flushed, knowing he could hear it. "Bella, you have nothing to apologize for."

Mr. Berty began his lecture, saving me from having to answer. I concentrated on his words; my mood darkening as the hour progressed. There was no way I could learn a year's worth of classes in two weeks. I hadn't realized I'd spoken my thoughts aloud until I heard Edward speak as we were gathering up our books at the end of class.

"I could help you," he said smoothly. "We could start tonight, if you'd like."

I turned and stared at him in shock. He was offering to help me? He smiled crookedly at me and I had to remind myself to breathe. How could anyone compete with that smile? Looking at that face, I'd almost forgotten that I had a date that night; then I wondered if that wasn't Edward's intention when he'd made the offer.

"It might mean a lot of late nights," I mused, inwardly thrilled at the idea. "I have a lot of ground to cover…"

"I can handle it." The grin widened.

"I…" I stammered, my thoughts jumbled after I'd mistakenly looked into his smoldering eyes. "Thanks." I said finally, heart still hammering in my chest. "But…I-I can't start tonight. Is tomorrow okay?"

"We can start whenever you want," Edward said warmly, though his gaze hardened slightly before he caught himself. I wondered at his harsh gaze until I heard Mike coming up behind me.

"Bella…"

"Can I walk you to your next class?" Edward asked suddenly, speaking over Mike's tentative voice. He reached for my book bag, as if he knew I'd say yes. I nodded mutely, unable to trust my voice to speak. I spared Mike an apologetic glance and followed Edward out the door.

The rest of the day went in much the same fashion. Edward offering to escort me from one class to the next, appearing at my side just seconds before Mike did. Though he walked by my side, during the classes we had together, he spoke little. He led me to the lunchroom, where Alice enlisted Angela and Ben to monopolize my time. As if they were all in on some sort of conspiracy to keep Mike from talking to me.

It would have been funny, if I could have made sense of it all. Edward was polite, but distant; yet he seemed to take perverse pleasure in constantly beating Mike to the punch. I caught a sly grin on his face each time he led me from the room, Mike's dejected expression following us. Yet, when we were alone, he made small talk, asking inconsequential things.

It was the end of the day before Mike finally had a chance to speak to me about our date. I wished again that I had never agreed to it, but I saw no easy way to back out now. Mike offered to follow me home and leave right away, but I begged for an hour, citing some last minute homework as an excuse.

"McDonalds? Are you sure?" Mike asked incredulously as he pulled his Suburban into the lot.

"Do you mind? I'm just not in the mood for Italian today," I explained weakly. How could I rationalize why I didn't want to go La Bella Italia when I didn't understand it myself?

"I guess not," he shrugged; but I could tell he was disappointed. Surely he was hoping for something a little more intimate than the "Golden Arches". Which was exactly what I was hoping to avoid. I was sure the movie would be bad enough.

I was right. Mike had his arm around the back of my seat before the previews were over. It was only a matter of time before it slipped to my shoulders and I tried to think of how to slip from under it without hurting his feelings. His other hand reached for mine and I slipped my hands into my lap, knotting them together. I laughed, the sound loud and false, at the comedic sections of the film, trying desperately to ignore the attempts Mike made to take my hand in his.

"Mike, can you get me a coke?" I asked finally, when he remained undeterred. He sighed, dejected, and stepped out into the lobby. I thought I'd heard a familiar snort of laughter as he'd left and I whirled around, trying to locate the source, but the room was too dark to see anyone's face.

When he returned, I kept the soda in my hands the whole time, feigning an overwhelming thirst. During one of the romantic moments in the film – there were far too many, in my opinion – I saw Mike lean toward me and I groaned internally, knowing where his thoughts were headed.

"Bella?" he whispered in my ear, hoping I would turn toward him. I did turn slightly, though not nearly as much as he wanted; still he leaned in further and I struggled to think of a way out of this mess I'd gotten myself into. Suddenly he winced, grabbing the back of his head.

"Ow!"

A chorus of people hissed at him to be quiet as I turned to him quizzically. He reached back behind his shoulders and retrieved what looked to be part of a hardened pretzel.

"Someone threw this at me," he hissed angrily.

"Shh…"

"Probably someone from the upper balcony," I whispered back, trying to hide a smile. Whoever had done it was my guardian angel and I wished I could find them to thank them. Fortunately it seemed Mike decided against a second attempt and we spent the rest of the movie with our eyes on the screen.

Mike was still grumbling as we made our way to his Suburban. He held the door open for me, his eyes roaming over every person that exited the theater. "Stupid pretzel was hard as a rock," he growled. "Must have been several days old."

"I'm sorry you didn't have a good time, Mike." I said apologetically. I watched out the front window as he drove down the road toward Forks.

"No, Bella…I had fun," he said quickly. "Maybe we can do this again…"

"Mike, I…" I didn't know what to say to him. I didn't want to lead Mike on, but I didn't want to hurt him either. Whatever else, he was still my friend. I glanced out the window, surprised, as he pulled onto the side of the road, into a small field.

"Mike?" I said warily, suddenly growing very nervous. I had no time to react as he pulled me into his arms and kissed me, hard. I pushed against his chest without much success. "Mike…no," I said against his lips.

"Bella, give me a chance," he pleaded; he shifted us along the bench seat, until his weight was fully on top of me. "I can make you forget…"

"No, Mike," I said again, my hands pushing harder as his mouth crushed mine a second time. I shifted beneath him, preparing to knee him in the groin, if necessary, and attempted to push him away again. "Mike, don't…"

An ear-splitting sound of wrenching metal startled both of us, our eyes growing wide. And then, Mike disappeared from above me. I struggled into a sitting position and stared out the gaping hole where the driver's side door used to be, goose bumps rising on my arms at the harsh growl I heard coming from outside the van.

"Edward! No!"


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's note: I felt I should try and explain the last chapter. I don't want folks to get the idea that I don't like the character of Mike Newton. I do actually like him (and on the movie side, I think Mike Welch is a great guy - very talented and funny) And let me just say that while he did take liberties he shouldn't have, he would have come to his senses before things progressed much further (and would have apologized profusely) Poor boy, he was a means to an end, as you'll see shortly - a catalyst of sorts. Hopefully I haven't sent any of you scurrying away..._

_Edward_

"Edward! No!" Her voice pierced the red haze in my mind; dimmed the fury for a brief moment. I gazed down at the crumpled figure before me; his thoughts replayed across my mind as they had when I'd run through the forest to find them and the rage burned hotter. I took a step toward him.

"Edward! You can't!" Bella cried, stepping between me and the object of my ire, her hands pressing against my chest. "You'll kill him!"

I looked down at her pale face, into her terror-stricken eyes. I saw the horror there – saw the face reflected in their depths. Wild and furious...the face of a killer – _my_ face. A face I hadn't seen since I'd found James hovering over her broken body in that ballet studio. Much as I loathed the boy lying before me – did he deserve the same fate as James?

"Is he...?" Bella turned and I felt her jolt of surprise as a lilting voice softly answered her question from a few feet away.

"He'll be fine, Bella," Alice replied softly. "He hit his head on the doorframe," she explained as she leaned over Mike's prostrate form. Her cell phone was already in her hand and I could see the plan she was formulating in her head. _'Hmmm...it could work.'_ I had to give Alice credit – she could be very creative when necessary.

"Edward, take Bella home," she commanded before starting to babble hurriedly over the phone to Carlisle.

Bella's hands were still against my chest, their warmth burning through the shirt I wore. I could hear her heart racing; her ragged breath heated the air between us. I was torn, between wanting – _needing_ – to look into her eyes – to make certain that she was unhurt – and fearing what I might find within their depths.

"Bella," I said roughly, keeping my gaze fixed above her head. "Are you all right?" I felt her hands twitch against me, her breath catching in her throat and I glanced down at her. Her face was even paler than before, her eyes glazed and unfocused and I wondered what she was seeing. Panic rose in me at her expression.

"_Bella_?" She gasped and suddenly her arms were around my waist, her face buried against my chest. "_Bella_!" I cried, truly alarmed now.

"Edward," Alice hissed, "Go!" She didn't want Bella there when Carlisle and Emmett arrived – the less Bella knew about Alice's plan, the better. I scooped Bella up into my arms and ran the two miles back to where Alice and I had left the car.

I placed her gently in the passenger seat and knelt beside her; my hands stroking her hair, her face, as I'd longed to do for what seemed like an eternity. I felt her cheeks and forehead; they were warm, but not overly so. My gaze sought hers and I sank into those depthless eyes of hers. "Bella?" I whispered.

"I'm fine," she said shakily and I almost laughed in relief – it was such a Bella response. A shudder ran through her and I quickly shrugged off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. I moved to hurry around the car, taking a brief moment to brush my fingertips across one silken cheek. As she had that night in the hospital, Bella leaned her face into my hand and I was nearly undone. I latched her seatbelt around her and closed the door, rushing to the driver's side and climbing in seconds later. I turned the key in the ignition and turned up the heat.

I drove down the darkened road, slowly for me, and tried to keep my eyes from wandering to her. I could hear her struggle to regain control of her breathing, to calm her racing heart. But I could only guess at the reason for the wild fluttering – fear? Of what she had seen me do – what I had almost done? Or had my touch stirred something within her as it once used to? I quickly dispelled that notion. Surely my actions toward Mike Newton repulsed her – they sickened me, though every time I saw the image of him lying atop her I had to fight back the red haze of fury once again.

Bella drew her knees up to her chest, her feet planted on the edge of the seat. Her arms curled around her shins and she dropped her head, rocking slowly back and forth.

"Bella?"

"It's all my fault," she whispered, her voice so anguished that it cut my silent heart.

"What?" I whirled to face her, amazed that she could come to such a conclusion. Though why it should surprise me, the way Bella's mind worked; she was always wrong when it came to things like this. "_No_, Bella. You did nothing wrong."

"You could have killed him!"

"Bella, he's going to be fine," I said evenly, knowing only too well how right she was. I had been angry enough to do permanent damage to the boy. And part of me couldn't quite manage to be sorry about it. The rational part of me knew that I had overreacted – knew that, as infuriating as Mike Newton's fantasies had been, he was not in the same class as the vile creatures I'd rescued Bella from that night long ago in Port Angeles.

"He would have stopped," she said softly, but confidently.

"You don't know that..." I argued, seeing Mike's thoughts in my head once again. He had honestly thought he could sway Bella, win her over with his...affections. My teeth snapped together, fists clenched as I fought back the anger again. "He's going to be fine, Bella. Alice saw that." I groaned as I realized what I had said. Bella knew now that Alice and I – that our family – was different. She knew what we were. But I had no idea how much she remembered.

"That's the second time you've come to my rescue in Port Angeles," she whispered.

"You remember that?" I pulled off the road and turned to look at her.

"You asked if I was all right..." she mused, "and I remembered you asking that before." Her eyes met mine briefly and once again it tormented me that I couldn't just hear her thoughts. Her gaze lowered, her teeth pressing into her lower lip and I could see she was fighting back tears.

"Bella..."

"It's all my fault," she repeated.

"No!"

"I-I didn't want to go out with Mike," she continued, as if I hadn't spoken. "I only said yes because..."

"Bella..."

"You didn't _want_ me anymore," she whispered, her voice pained. "I thought if you saw that someone else did...I thought you might change your mind."

"Didn't _want_..." I don't remember reaching for her; she was just suddenly in my arms. Her soft, warm lips pressed against mine, one hand knotted in my hair. My hands cradled her, drawing her onto my lap; one curved around the back of her head, holding her mouth to mine. The other found the small of her back, drawing her body, her soft, delicate body, even closer to my own.

Her free hand slipped between us; not to push me away, rather she twisted her fingers into my shirt as if to keep herself from falling. I couldn't be bothered to tell her not to worry – that I would never let her go. I was too busy drowning in her; her scent, her warmth, her taste. If there was any falling to be done, we would go together.

Had it been only a week since I'd held her like this, since I'd tasted the unbearable sweetness that was my Bella? No, I had never held her like _this_ before, never lost myself so completely in her. I never ceased to be aware of how delicate, how fragile, Bella was. But in that moment a battle raged within me – between my desire to keep her safe and the need to have her closer. Curled against me as she was, still she was not close enough.

I longed to crush her to me, until we ceased being two and became one. We _were_ one; much as part of me hoped she would leave me and embrace her mortal life, I knew I could no longer push her away. Without her, I'd lost half of myself. Only with her beside me – loving me – was I whole.

She whimpered and I withdrew gently, fearful that I had hurt her. She followed my retreat, again closing the space between us; a fierce cry of "no" murmured against my lips as hers met mine again.

But I heard the staccato fluttering of her heart, her ragged breaths as she tried to pull air into her lungs. Her breathing came as harsh and fast as mine; but my survival did not depend on it. Even now the hand that clutched my shirt was slackening; her body going limp in my embrace.

"Bella?" I gasped hoarsely as our lips parted. She blinked up at me, eyes slightly dazed, but a smile played on her lips.

"I _knew_ you still loved me," she whispered breathlessly.

"You silly girl," I chuckled, stroking her cheek with the back of my hand. "Never, since the day we met, have I ever _stopped_ loving you." Bella snuggled closer to me, sighing as I pressed my cool lips to her forehead.

"But now I need to get you home. Where do you think you're going?" I demanded as she attempted to climb from my lap.

"Back over..." Bella glanced at the passenger seat.

"Oh no you don't," I replied, shifting her further onto my lap. "I just got you back...I'm not about to let you go. Besides," I grinned down at her, tightening my arm about her waist. "Better than a seatbelt. You'll be perfectly safe."

"I feel very safe with you," Bella replied and we both laughed, remembering how she had said that very thing that first time in Port Angeles. She leaned her head against my shoulder as I pulled back onto the road.

"Mike?"

"Bella, I swear to you, he's going to be fine."

"How is Alice going to explain the door? And the bump on his head? And...?"

"Bella," I sighed, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "It's better that you don't know. It will make things easier when Charlie asks..."

"Charlie?" Bella pulled back and looked me in the eye. "_Edward_..."

"Shh, Bella. I promise I will tell you. Later." She seemed satisfied with my reply and settled back against me. I didn't look forward to telling her Alice's plan – though I imagined she'd learn of it from Charlie before I had a chance to explain. The damage to Newton's vehicle would anger her – though Emmett would reattach the door so neatly you would never know it had been removed. The rest of the Suburban, however...well, there needed to be an explanation of Newton's head injury. An injury Alice assured me was not life-threatening or permanent.

Bella was quiet, her breathing returning to a more normal pace. She relaxed against me and I thought for a moment that she had fallen asleep. I should have known better.

"Edward..."

"Yes?" I answered her, my lips pressing into her hair. I couldn't seem to keep my lips from caressing her, from touching her. I sighed, knowing she was about to ask me what I wasn't sure I could answer.

"You said you never stopped loving me..."

My lips found her ear and I whispered fervently, "Never. If you believe nothing else I say, believe that."

"Then why? Why did you stay away?" I could hear the pain in her voice and I hated myself. I had sworn that I would never hurt her again. And yet, it seemed that, for all my good intent, I had done just that.

"Bella," I began, wondering how to word this – how to explain. "It may have seemed that way, but I was never far from your side. Though you never saw me, I never left you unprotected."

"Unprotected?"

I groaned. Why did I always say too much around her? I had, at one time – or so I thought – managed to control that impulse. Was my euphoria at having her love me again stripping me of every aspect of my self-control? "Bella, I didn't want to be away from you. But we thought..." _'Your father thought,'_ I amended silently. "That caution was the best tactic. That you should be allowed to remember things without any outside interference. Every moment – every second – away from you was agony to me," I admitted.

"Charlie kept you away, didn't he?" I didn't respond but for the tightening of my hand on the steering wheel. Bella noticed. "I knew it," she replied angrily. Again, the thought of this delicate creature acting as if she were the fiercest of predators dissipated my own anger in a flash. "He and Renee were arguing...often. About you."

"Bella, don't be angry with him. He was looking out for your best interests."

"I am a grown woman," she huffed. As if I needed to be reminded, when her warm body was pressed so closely to mine. "He and I are going to have a little chat when I get home."

"Now wait a moment, Bella," I warned. "I think the first order of business is explaining to Charlie why I am escorting you home in place of Mike Newton."

"I thought you said the less I know the better?"

"About what happened after you and I left Mike to my family's...care," I corrected. "But Charlie will be waiting up for you...and will undoubtedly recognize the difference between the sound of my car and Mike's."

"What should I say?" She sounded worried now, knowing how quickly her father tended to fly off the handle.

"Well..." I began carefully. "I think we should stick as close to the truth as possible. You and Mike had a...disagreement." I nearly choked on the word. "Whether or not you discuss the details of that disagreement with Charlie is your discretion. You left him to head back to Forks on his own and were in the process of seeking out a payphone to call Charlie when Alice and I spied you on our way back from dinner."

"You two followed us there, didn't you?" Bella asked suddenly.

"I dropped Alice off on the way into town," I continued, ignoring the obvious. She knew very well that I had followed her – there was no point in my admitting it. "And then I drove you home."

She nodded, agreeable with my version of events. "I think that might work." She sighed heavily, wrapped her arms around my waist, and was asleep in moments.

I nestled my face in Bella's hair, reacquainting myself with her unique fragrance. My arm tightened more securely around her waist, though I was driving more slowly than I ever had – with the exception of when I'd driven Bella's decrepit old Chevy. My lips pressed into her hair once again and I whispered, almost inaudibly.

"I love you, Bella."


	15. Chapter 15

_Bella_

I stirred as cool marble brushed gently across my cheek. I sighed, and settled myself more firmly against my solid, yet comfortable pillow. I burrowed into the jacket I wore, a chill running through me. Inhaling deeply, I was enveloped in the most delicious scent – a scent undeniably Edward. The sigh turned into a moan of pleasure; if I was with Edward in my dream, I wanted to stay there forever.

"Time to wake up, my love." A voice like pure velvet murmured into my hair. I shook my head, not wanting to wake if it meant leaving him. A throaty chuckle rumbled in my ear. "Bella, love…much as I would love to sit here like this forever…if your father comes out and sees you in my lap…"

"…don't care…" I mumbled petulantly, snuggling closer to him.

"Hmmm…" Edward sighed, exasperated. "Bella, you leave me no choice…" I heard a trace of humor in his voice, which should have warned me. But I was too comfortable – too happy – to notice. Cool fingers traced slowly along my jaw line, from one ear, along my chin, and up to the other. Back and forth they moved; my breath and my pulse accelerating with each pass.

"Are you sure you're not ready to move?" he whispered in my ear, his cool breath tickling my skin. I drew in a sharp breath as his mouth traced where his fingers had gone before. Slowly down my jaw to my chin; he smiled as he saw my eyes pop open. His eyes were golden fire as he gazed into mine; I felt drawn into them, unable to turn away, not that I wanted to.

"Bella," he whispered gruffly; his gaze dropped to my mouth as I nervously licked my lips. With a groan of defeat his lips found mine and everything else fell away. Nothing and no one else mattered, only Edward. The cool skin of his fingers as they traced along my arms, the hard marble of his chest pressed against me; the way his lips, firmly but oh so gently molded my lips around them. I sighed, my arms slipping around his neck; one of his hands knotted in my hair as the other trailed down my back and rested at my left hip.

I was floating, drowning in him; his scent, his lips, his touch. It ended all too soon, with Edward pulling away; as he always did, I recalled with a shock. His hands closed around my wrists, drawing them from around his neck and placing them at my sides. His beautiful face slowly pulled away from mine, a crooked smile of satisfaction played across it.

"That's better," he purred. "Are we awake now?"

I blinked, surprised to find myself perched back in the passenger seat – with no memory of how I got there. I turned and looked out into the darkness.

"I thought we were at Charlie's…"

"We're just around the corner," Edward admitted; his grin widened. "I wasn't certain how long it would take to separate myself from you."

"I'm sorry," I whispered, chagrined, and lowered my gaze to the floor.

"Bella," he said gently; he curled his index finger under my chin and lifted my face until my eyes met his. "Why are you always so quick to think the worst of me?"

"I…"

"It was just as difficult – if not more so – for me to let you go," he declared fervently.

"I doubt that," I muttered under my breath, my voice tinged with sadness.

"Don't!" Edward said sharply. "Don't _ever_ doubt that." Hand cupping my cheek, he drew his thumb slowly across my lower lip. His eyes held mine, the air around us crackled with electricity. My breath caught as I gazed at him; I trembled as his eyes continued to bore into mine. We sat there for an immeasurable moment before Edward finally broke away and turned back to gaze out the front windshield.

I gasped, drawing air sharply into my lungs as I realized that I had been holding my breath. I saw his hands tighten on the steering wheel as he put the car in gear, his breathing as ragged as mine. I tore my gaze reluctantly from his face and watched out the window as we approached Charlie's house.

I was still unsure what I was going to tell Charlie about my date with Mike. Should I admit that Mike crossed the line? What would Charlie, as an officer of the law, do to him if I did? What would he do as a father? As angry as I had been at Mike, still I wasn't certain I could throw him to the wolves like that – especially after he'd been injured because of me. I stared at the house as we pulled to a stop.

"Bella?" Edward took my hand; entwined with his, he brought it to his lips. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," I replied, though I was not sure if it was a lie. I started to open my door when he tugged on my hand to get my attention.

"Wait," he urged as he released my hand and opened his own door.

"Why?" I asked, bewildered. I watched as he climbed from the car and closed the door behind him. He crossed in front of the car and opened my door. I shook my head as he reached for my hand and helped me from the car. "What was the reason for that?"

"A lady should wait until a gentleman opens the door for her," Edward replied genteelly.

"What century did you come from?" I asked, chuckling. I saw his eyes darken a moment; then, just as quickly, the look was gone. "Come in with me?"

"Bella…"

"Please?" How could I explain? I was afraid – afraid that, if Edward walked away from me now, I would wake up to discover that this was all just another dream. He looked in my eyes for a long moment; whatever he saw there made him nod in assent.

Edward reached out toward me; cupping his hand behind my neck, he pulled me against his chest. His head dipped, cool lips pressing to my hairline. "Bella, I won't leave you ever again. You have my word."

I closed my eyes and leaned into him, my hands resting on his hips. I couldn't speak, overwhelmed by the depth of his conviction. It confused me, as if there were something there I didn't know – didn't remember – something I knew he would never tell me.

Suddenly he tensed and drew away from me; puzzled, I searched out his face in the darkness. "Charlie," he whispered. I turned and saw the curtains in the front window fall quickly, the face behind them realizing he had been spotted. I groaned, sensing a confrontation on the horizon.

"Let's go."

"Are you sure?" Edward asked as I tugged him toward my front door. I turned and gave him an exasperated look; sometimes he could be such a _boy_. I chuckled softly as I thought he'd had a lot of time to practice at it.

"What?"

"Nothing," I replied; I heard his teeth snap together and I recalled how he hated not knowing what I was thinking. Well, there were many things he knew about our relationship that I, as of now, did not. It was only fair that I have a secret or two of my own.

"Bella," Charlie called from the next room as I opened the door, his tone grave – the tone he used when an interrogation was about to begin. Edward shut the door quietly, his moves so silent it was almost as if he weren't really there.

"I was under the impression you were out with Mike Newton. Would you care to explain why I see you standing outside with Edward Cull…" Charlie's voice choked off as Edward and I appeared together in the entryway.

"I _was_ out with Mike," I replied; Edward stood behind me, our hands entwined behind my back where Charlie couldn't see. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze…or perhaps he was gently trying to un-entangle them.

"Mike and I…we had a disagreement," I said, using Edward's turn of phrase. "And I decided that I didn't want to ride home with him from the movie. I was heading back to town," the lie slipped from my lips far too easily; when had I perfected lying to my father?

"I was going to call you and ask you to pick me up, when I ran into Edward and Alice…"

"Mike left you on the side of the road?!" Charlie's face reddened. Okay, maybe I hadn't quite perfected the lying part.

"I made him, Dad…it wasn't that far from town…"

"So, where _is_ Alice?" he accused, glaring up suspiciously at Edward.

"I dropped her off at home on the way into town," Edward responded smoothly. "She wasn't feeling well."

"Thank you for bringing Bella home," Charlie said grudgingly, dismissively. Oh yes, I was going to have to have a little chat with my father once Edward left.

"Edward's offered to help me study for finals," I blurted out, wanting to get that out of the way quickly. "With his help maybe I can actually pass without having to take the year over. Isn't that nice of him?"

"Nice," Charlie grumbled. "Convenient," I heard him mutter under his breath and anger flared through me. Edward squeezed my hand in warning. I ignored him.

"So we'll be studying…a lot…either here or at the Cullens." I looked my father square in the eye. "So if you come home and I'm not here…well, I wouldn't want you to worry."

He looked at me as if I'd asked him to stop breathing. I continued, wrapping up the conversation before Charlie could catch his breath and start in on the fatherly tirade I expected was coming. "I'm going to walk Edward out. I'll be back in a moment." I turned and led Edward back out the door.

"I'm proud of you," Edward said incredulously. "You were calm – you didn't even give Charlie a hard time about…"

"Oh, I'm saving that for after you leave," I told him, my eyes narrowing as I thought again about how my father had deceived me.

"Bella," he sighed, taking both of my hands in his. "I don't want to be the cause of friction between you and your father."

"You're not," I declared honestly. "But Charlie has to understand that I'm not a child anymore."

"He almost lost you, Bella," Edward said softly and I could hear the pain in his voice. It was clear to me then – he blamed himself for my accident. "You can't blame him for wanting to protect you."

"Edward…I don't blame Charlie for wanting to protect me. I blame him because he's held you responsible for something that wasn't your fault."

"It happened at my home," he replied, his eyes sad. Mine searched his; did he not know that I suspected the story they had told Charlie to be a lie? Hadn't his father told him that?

"Edward…"

"I couldn't prevent it." His voice was nearly inaudible and so anguished that tears sprang to my eyes.

"It wasn't your fault," I replied again with conviction. He looked down at me; his hands dropped mine and cradled my face. He wiped away a tear that spilled onto my cheek with his thumb. He pulled me toward him, his arms curling around my shoulders. He buried his face in my hair.

"You don't know that," he whispered.

"Edward, please don't. No matter what's happened before, we've found each other again. That's all that matters." His hands curved around my cheeks and tilted my face up to his.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," he said softly. My eyes shut, tears clinging to my lashes; Edward bent down and gently kissed them away. "I am sorry."

"Don't…"

"I'm sorry that I made you cry," he clarified. I sighed as he brushed one thumb across my lips. "You should go inside. It's late…and Charlie's watching."

"I don't care," I replied, my arms tightening around his waist. I rested my head against his shoulder. "I don't want you to go," I whispered.

"You're tired," he said knowingly, glancing down at my heavy-lidded eyes. I couldn't argue with that, but I didn't want to let go of him. I was too afraid he would disappear again if I did. He smiled down at me suddenly. "May I drive you to school tomorrow?"

I was taken aback by the question. It was the last thing I had expected him to say.

"Y-yes," I stammered. He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted it up to his; pressing his lips briefly to mine.

"I'll be here bright and early in the morning then," he said, his smile curling up on one side. "Sleep well, my Bella," he said softly.

And then he turned and walked to his car. I couldn't be certain, but I thought I heard him say something as he walked away. "I won't be far." But it was spoken so softly, I was sure I was mistaken. I turned and headed back into the house, and back to Charlie.


	16. Chapter 16

_Edward_

I perched far back in the dark, dense branches of the tree outside Bella's window, watching as she prepared for bed. I had just wished my mother a good night as she headed toward our home; she spent the evening watching over Charlie while Alice and I had headed to Port Angeles to guard over Bella.

She had been witness to my returning with Bella; her joy as Bella and I clung to one another had been hard to ignore. And Esme had been unable to curb her emotions each time Bella and I touched. So, I was quite surprised to see her golden eyes flare with anger when I'd returned less than twenty minutes later.

"I realize Charlie is her father," she fumed, "but Bella knows her own mind and he should abide by her wishes."

"Does she?" I wondered aloud, knowing there was much still for Bella to discover. Would she continue to want the same once she remembered everything?

'_She knows her heart,'_ Esme declared silently, her hand stroking my cheek. _'Don't underestimate her,'_ she told me yet again.

Bella had held her ground, Esme informed me, explaining to Charlie that, while she understood his desire to protect her, he'd had no right to keep us apart. That she'd known all along that she and I had been together – he'd forgotten to remove items from her room that proved that. And his banishment of me from Bella's life had led her to the wrong conclusion about me – that it was what _I _had wanted. My Bella had stood up for me – for us – as I knew she would.

I sighed as I watched Bella, perched on her bed and running a brush through her damp hair; knowing that her discussion with Charlie would not keep the man from trying to eradicate me from his daughter's life. My mother hadn't told me aloud, but I could read in her thoughts that Jacob Black had been mentioned; Charlie championing his friend's son, while Bella remained steadfast that she only felt friendship for the mongrel. I wondered what Bella would think of him once she remembered his secret.

I shook the thoughts from my mind and centered my attention on the object of my eternal devotion. I counted each brush stroke with a groan. Ridiculous to be jealous of an inanimate object, but I was – unnervingly so. I longed to run my fingers through the damp strands; longed to bury my face within them, inhaling her scent.

I couldn't fathom why, now, the draw of her body was so much more potent. The physical attraction was always there, lurking beneath the surface; hard to contain at times when Bella attempted, and she attempted often, to sway me. But now...

I closed my eyes, though the image of her hand sweeping the brush slowly through her hair played behind my lids, hoping that she would be through soon. I hoped she would turn out the light – though the change meant nothing to my eyes – and fall into sleep, so I could remove the glass barrier that was between us.

Tonight would be even more difficult; after having her in my arms, after tasting those long-sought-after lips, I wanted more. And yet, I hadn't told her of my nightly visits when I had the opportunity; fearful that such knowledge would push her over the precarious edge she was perched on.

There was so much about me that she did not remember – so much about what loving me could cost her. Would her feelings for me change once she remembered all the times that, just by loving her, I nearly cost her her life?

The click of the light switch was loud, surprising me as it pulled me from my reverie. Were I gazing through the window with human eyes, it would have taken a moment or two to adjust to the change in brightness. But my eyes had no difficulty making out the slender figure settling in under the covers.

I heard her father shifting position on the couch downstairs, engrossed in a Mariners game and wondered if he would still be there when the call came about Mike Newton. As I knew it eventually would. Surely someone would call him about the 'accident' and then he would confront his daughter about it. Should I dare enter her room before that confrontation took place?

A soft whimper brought my full attention back to Bella. Her blankets already impossibly twisted around her legs, she tossed restlessly upon the small bed; her arm flailing above her. Her obvious distress drew me and I pushed open the window and passed under it quickly. Her heart hammered in her chest, her shoulders lifting with each harsh breath drawn into her lungs and I wondered what horrors were assailing her subconscious. I forced myself to perch on the rocking chair, the urge to take her in my arms and comfort her was nearly overpowering in its intensity.

I didn't have long to wait to discover what was disturbing her in her dream.

"No...Mike...don't" Bella whimpered and I felt the anger flare again, though it was only her dreaming of what happened tonight. My hands clenched into fists on my thighs, fearful I would rip the arms off the antique rocking chair if I were to grip them. I had destroyed enough antiques in the past week.

"Edward! No!" I froze, wondering if her shout would bring her father running, but it seemed that he hadn't heard her. Maybe it only seemed loud to me, doubled as it was by the memory of the actual event in my mind. I tried to work my mind around why she would be dreaming of tonight when she sighed heavily and seemed to settle down into the mattress.

I breathed as well; thankful she seemed to be past the disturbing dream and was settling into a deeper sleep. My relief was short-lived. I listened with alarm as Bella's heart rate climbed once again, her breath ragged. She muttered the same words over and over and I felt myself turn to ice.

"They're not following you...they're not following you," she kept repeating. I knew exactly what she was recalling, though why – when she had already recovered that memory earlier this very evening – confused me. Had this evening's encounter with Newton traumatized her more than she admitted? She'd told me over and again that she knew that boy would not have hurt her, but my Bella was prone to covering her less pleasant thoughts – hiding them from me.

"Leave me alone," she cried out softly, her hands curling into fists. Though I knew it physically impossible, I felt the bile rise in my throat at the memory her words stirred within me. Saw the face of the man who'd terrorized her that night as clear as if he were standing before me.

I moved quickly as Bella bolted upright in the bed, her eyes wide. I was at her side before she realized, my hand gently muffling her cry of fear. Her wide eyes stared unblinkingly into mine, though I don't know that she saw me. Her heart was racing wildly in her chest, her breath so erratic I feared she would faint.

"Bella," I whispered gently, "it's okay. You're safe, sweetheart. It was only a dream." We both knew that last for the lie it was – only a dream. No, it was all too real, what had nearly happened to her; both tonight, and that night more than a year ago.

"Bella?" I said again, sighing with relief when her eyes finally blinked and focused on me.

"How...?" she said against my hand. "You're here...when? How?"

"I'm always here," I replied soothingly, moving my hand to brush it slowly across her cheek. "I told you – I will never leave you unprotected."

"But..." her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of my words. She shuddered once, still trying to shake off the nightmare. I perched on the slender bed beside her, gathering her blanket tightly around her shoulders. Realization came into her eyes then as she gazed up at me.

"You _were_ here last night," she said suddenly, a small smile springing to her lips. "I thought I'd dreamt that."

"Yes," I murmured into her hair. She leaned into my chest, resting her head on my shoulder. My arms curled around her, holding her close.

"You said you loved me."

"You know that already," I replied, chuckling. Our conversation was a mirror image of one we'd had before – on the morning when I'd first taken her to meet my family. I wondered if she knew that.

"It's nice to hear, though," she whispered. She sighed, leaning her head against my shoulder. I buried my face in her hair, inhaling her sweet scent; the moisture still clinging to the damp strands enhancing its potency.

"I love you," I whispered. I leaned back against the headboard and Bella curled up against me. The heat of her body against mine warmed me, both physically and emotionally. I felt a smile curl on my face when she snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around me. It was like coming home.

The shrill ring of the phone startled both of us and I reluctantly withdrew from Bella's embrace. "I should go."

"What? No! Why?" The depth of her panic surprised me and I quickly set to reassure her.

"Shh, Bella," I whispered into her hair, pressing my lips against her soft skin. "I won't be far. But, unless I'm very much mistaken, Charlie will be coming up to check on you as soon as he hangs up the phone." I didn't add that I knew with almost absolute certainty who was on the other end of that phone call.

"I'll be right outside," I promised and disappeared out the window as her father's tread could be heard on the bottom steps.

Charlie paused outside Bella's door, apparently debating whether to knock or just walk in. Knocking won out and I heard his sharp rap. "Bella? Can I come in?"

"Yeah Dad." Bella's eyes flickered in my direction briefly before she turned her attention to Charlie.

Charlie entered the room, his eyes narrowed in suspicion as they gazed upon his daughter. "Bella, that was Mike Newton's father on the phone..." He paused, gauging Bella's reaction. "Mike was in an accident on the way home from Port Angeles tonight."

"What?! Is-is he all right?" Bella's obvious surprise and concern caught her father off guard. I could see that he wanted to believe that she hadn't known about Mike, but he was still unsure.

"He has a slight concussion, but he'll be fine. His car, on the other hand..." He paused again, as if unsure whether to continue. "Bells..." he began, "Mr. Newton wasn't just calling to tell me about Mike. He was concerned for you."

"For me? Why?" Bella's brow furrowed, confusion showing in her eyes.

"Mike doesn't remember dropping you off anywhere, Bella. His last memory was of...he said the last thing he remembered was...kissing you." Charlie's eyes sought to capture his daughter's; when that failed, he looked over her with an appraising eye – seeking evidence of something. "Bells...were you in the crash?"

"No! No, Dad, I told you..."

"Mike was concerned – he wanted to apologize for his actions and make certain that you weren't hurt," Chief Swan, his eyes still appraising. "Did he hurt you, Bells?"

"It was nothing," she replied and I felt a flare of anger rush through me. I almost wished her father would see the lie for what it was, hoped he would exact revenge on the vile Newton boy when I could not.

"Mike...he didn't mean..." She saw his eyes flash and she quickly backpedaled. "Dad, I know how to protect myself." I nearly snorted in disbelief at that; she never saw the dangers she kept gravitating toward. When he continued to stare, Bella repeated, "Dad, I'm fine. Mike is going to be okay?"

"Yes, his father said they were releasing him shortly. Bells, are you sure...?"

"Dad, I was not in an accident tonight. I promise."

"Okay."

"I'm really tired, Dad. And there's still school tomorrow..." Bella said gently, urging her father out the door.

"All right. Night Bells." He closed the door firmly behind him.

She turned to the window as I climbed back in, her face incredulous. "You totaled Mike's car?" she nearly shrieked at me.

"I didn't do anything to Newton's car, Bella," I replied calmly.

Her eyes narrowed. "The door?"

"The door was replaced – good as new – by Emmett," I answered, my voice still even.

"But Mike's car is totaled!"

"Your father never said..." Her eyes flashed, catching me in the lie and I growled back angrily. "He's lucky it was only his car that was totaled."

"Edward!"

"Bella, we had to do something to explain Mike's injury. That's what Alice came up with."

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked, her anger slowly receding.

"Because you needed to be honestly surprised when Charlie came to tell you." I watched her eyes carefully; the anger there was fading, but she was obviously still upset. "Do you want me to go?"

"No!" Her hand shot out and grabbed mine and I allowed her to lead me to the bed. I sat beside her once again, wrapping the blanket around her. I curled my arms about her as she leaned against me.

"I heard you," she said suddenly. "In the theater. Laughing."

"Did you?" I replied, unable to quite keep the smile from my voice.

"You threw the pretzel at him, didn't you?"

"That was Alice. _I_ would never do something so immature."

"Sure you wouldn't," Bella said skeptically and we both laughed. She knew me too well. I settled down on the bed and drew her down with me, her head resting on my chest.

"It's late. You should try to get some sleep." I gazed down at her face, tilted up towards mine; her brows furrowed. "What?"

"I just..." she started; then paused. "It's nothing."

"Bella." She sighed heavily. Her hand reached up to touch my face; I shut my eyes, reveling in the feel of her fingers as they traced my jaw.

"I keep dreaming of you," she said finally. "So much that I don't know what's real and what's imaginary."

"I'm real, Bella," I whispered, taking her hand and pressing her palm to my lips. "I'm real...and I'm here."

"I don't understand..."

"Carlisle thinks it's your subconscious's way of reacquainting you with your past – one memory at a time." She blinked slowly, an involuntary yawn escaping her lips.

"Sleep, my Bella," I said, kissing the top of her head. "And don't worry. Everything will work out," I promised, though I was far from certain. She curled against me, eyes closing, and I watched her as she slept. And wondered what the morning would bring.


	17. Chapter 17

_Bella_

The insistent buzz of my alarm clock pulled me reluctantly from sleep. With a groan of protest, I rolled over to hit the snooze button and my elbow connected with something hard and cold.

"Ow!" I leapt from the bed, shaking my arm furiously. "Ow…damn it!"

"Bella?"

"My funny bone," I complained, still shaking my arm to try and diffuse the jarring sensation running down my forearm.

"Here." Edward was at my side instantly, taking my arm gently in his cold hands. His icy touch did soothe the painful tingling that shot up and down my arm, but the gentle stroke of his fingers was doing serious damage to my sanity. My breath caught and even I could hear the rapid beat of my heart as his fingertips traced along my skin.

"Better?" he asked, with the slightest trace of a smile on his face. Of course he could tell what his touch did to me, I thought to myself, embarrassed by my body's uncontrolled reaction.

"Y-yeah," I stammered, pulling my arm away from his light grip. I sat on the edge of the bed, my gaze on the floor. I felt the shift of the mattress as he sat down beside me.

"Bella…" the tenor of his voice brought my eyes up to his. Molten gold, they smoldered, burning into my own and my heart raced. I swallowed hard, my lips parting slightly as my breath grew even more erratic.

His palms curved, molding themselves to my cheeks as he held my face in his hands. My breath caught as his face moved slowly forward. Cold, hard, but ever so gentle, his lips met mine. My heart skipped a beat; then raced unevenly as his lips pressed harder against mine.

With a groan, my hands slipped up over his shoulders and buried themselves into his hair. I fell back against the pillows, drawing him down on top of me. His arms tightened around my waist, a low growl slipped from his tight lips as they ground against mine.

And just as quickly they were gone. I blinked, gazing up at him in surprise. His eyes were wild, his hands gripping my wrists firmly as he gently pulled my fingers from his hair; his breath as ragged as my own.

"Bella," he rasped admonishingly.

"I'm sorry," I gasped.

"No…you're not," he retorted, with a crooked grin. He pulled us both up into a sitting position, his hands still firmly wrapped around my wrists. "If you had any idea how…"

He broke off suddenly and I was left to wonder at the meaning of his words. Any idea of what? How difficult it was for him to be so close? How much he wanted _me_ too? I was foolish enough to wish the latter was true, but not to the point that I actually believed it.

I hadn't forgotten what Edward was and that, for some unknown reason, he refrained from drinking my blood. But did that hold true for all humans…or just me? And what if he did succumb to the temptation? All I knew of vampire lore was what I had read online – and much of that information seemed untrue where Edward and his family were concerned.

"Bella? What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," I said quickly, thankful he couldn't read my mind as he could everyone else. Another fact gleaned from my subconscious last night. I wondered how long it would take for my memories to catch up to the present…and what I could do to hasten them?

"Hmmm…" Edward sighed; then all thoughts of his family history and abilities vanished as his lips pressed to the dip of flesh just below my left ear. His mouth traced slowly along my jaw line – from one ear, down to my chin, and then across to the other. My hands flexed as I longed to break the iron grip he had on my wrists and sink them into his bronze hair.

That I longed to touch him and could not only added to my frenzy. My breath was staccato, my chest heaving and my heart pounded beneath my ribs. I whimpered softly as he retraced his steps, moving from beneath my right ear, to my chin, and back to my left. My thoughts were swirling; if prodded, I doubted I could utter a coherent word, let alone attempt a complete sentence.

He withdrew then, pulling back to look me in the eye, a speculative expression on his face. His hands slipped from my wrists to interlace his fingers with mine and he brought the back of my left hand to his lips and kissed it quickly.

"What?" I managed to ask, my heart finally beginning to slow.

"Hmmm…" he started, pursing his lips slightly. "How opposed are you to a day off?"

"A day off?"

"I want to take you somewhere. Will you come with me?"

"But…" I protested weakly, knowing I would agree to anything he asked of me. "I'm already so behind…"

"Don't worry about that," Edward said with a confident smile. "I'll get you through your finals if I have to bribe every teacher." He turned those liquid gold eyes on me again. "Come with me. Please?"

Mutely I nodded, utterly rendered incapable of speech by the intensity of those eyes. He smiled broadly and dropped my hands. He rose from the bed, then helped me do the same and propelled me toward the door.

"Go get ready. I'll be waiting for you downstairs."

"Down…? But…Charlie…"

"Charlie left fifteen minutes ago," Edward said quickly, still leading me to the door. There was a feverish light in his eyes that I had never seen before – at least that I could remember. I shivered as a thrill that was half anticipation, half fear, stole over me.

When I started down the stairs I was surprised to see him perched near the bottom step, full of a nervous energy that seemed ill-fitting on him. The excitement on his face was hard to ignore, and I found myself amending my earlier assessment.

I _had_ seen that fevered look before – on the day of the blood-typing in biology. When he'd carried me from the sidewalk – against Mike's protests – and deposited me on the cot in the nurse's office. His eyes had been alight with excitement that day – and the second he'd put me down, he'd put as much space between us as possible.

I frowned and paused halfway down the stairs, the memory confusing me. His mood that day had shifted suddenly; from concern, to humor, and then to something almost indefinable. A longing, certainly, but indistinct; as if two completely different desires were waging battle against each other within him.

"Bella? What's wrong?" He was at my side in an instant; I'd forgotten how quickly he could move. And how he would have heard my hesitation, even as silently as I thought my footsteps had been.

"It's nothing…" I started, stopping as his eyes narrowed, catching me in the lie. "I…I was just remembering that day you ditched Biology." At least it wasn't an outright lie – in the very basest sense that _had_ been what I was thinking of.

"My ears were ringing so badly that you sounded so far away when you called my name…"

"I was," he admitted. "I was in my car when I heard Newton – all frantic about something. And then I saw him set you down on the sidewalk…" He exhaled sharply at the memory. "It took everything I had not to sprint across that lot to your side. And all the while Newton was too busy being furious with me to think of you – so I would know what was wrong."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his teeth clenched and I knew he was fighting another wave of anger at Mike that had nothing to do with that day on the sidewalk. I was sorry I had brought it up; I should have known where his thoughts would lead. But when they opened again, his eyes were soft, beckoning; and his face lit up with that devastating smile.

"Are you ready?" I nodded and he took my hand, leading me out the front door. I was surprised to see the Volvo outside – surely it hadn't been there all night.

"How did you…?"

"Magic." That sparkle was back in Edward's eyes as he wrapped one arm about my waist and led me down the driveway to his car. He opened the passenger door and gazed down at me, his smile broadening. "Shall we?"


	18. Chapter 18

_Edward_

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Bella asked for the second time as I sped down the road away from town.

"It's a place I want to show you," I said cryptically. "A special place."

It _was_ a special place – had always been so for me, but was even more special now. Because of Bella...because it was where we had truly given ourselves over to this love we shared. It was _our_ meadow now and I wanted to reacquaint her with it. In the back of my mind I heard Carlisle's warnings – not to push her memories, to let them come naturally. But how could this place hold anything but good memories for her – for us?

"You brought me to a dead end road?" she asked incredulously as I pulled off on the side of the road near the trail. "Please tell me we are not going hiking," she added, gazing out at the trail before us. "You know how clumsy I am."

"We are not going hiking," I agreed, exiting the driver's side of the car and moving swiftly around to open her door. "I am. _You_ are going to ride."

"Ride?"

I took her hand and led her to the edge of the forest. "Climb on my back, tuck your head into my shoulder, and close your eyes."

"Close my...?"

"Bella, trust me." She obliged, wrapping her legs around my waist and her arms twisted around my neck. I felt her face press into my shoulder blade and I set off quickly through the forest.

I darted in and out between the trees as they whipped past, the elation I felt far different than the emotions running through me the last time I raced through the forest, just two days before. I pushed that thought aside, not wanting Victoria to mar my happiness at being able to share this special place with Bella once again. Yet I could never completely dispel the redhead from my mind until the threat she posed to my Bella was eradicated forever.

"Oh!" I heard Bella exclaim fearfully, her arms and legs tightening around me. I no longer felt the pressure of her head against my back, so I knew what had frightened her.

"Bella?" I said gently, slowing my pace. We were nearly there; walking the last few yards were not a problem.

"The trees…you're going to kill us…" she moaned at my ear, her chin resting weakly on my shoulder. I slowed further; then stopped altogether. Her arms and legs still wound around me in what, to her, was a death grip, I shifted her around until she was in front of me, her face impossibly close.

"Bella," I said gently, trying to capture her gaze with my own. "Do you honestly believe I would ever let anything hurt you?"

Her heart raced uncontrollably and I watched as she swallowed, her eyes squeezing shut. Her face was paler, even than mine, and I recalled with perfect clarity the similarity to the first time we had ventured through the forest in this fashion. And that time Bella did not have the added concern of a recent head injury.

'_Edward, you idiot,'_ I berated myself. I wrapped one arm around her waist, on the chance that her grip might fail and lightly stroked her cheek with my free hand.

"Bella?" I said softly; her cheek was cold from the wind whipping at it and I again wished that my touch could warm her. "Bella, _please_ look at me."

Chocolate-colored eyes blinked and then stared into mine. "That was…interesting," she said finally, her voice breathless. I laughed with relief at the small smile she bestowed upon me.

"Can you stand?"

"I…I can try."

"Bella, you need to let go first," I said with a chuckle as she remained firmly wrapped around me.

"A little help," she urged, her expression still a bit bemused. I gently grasped her legs and pried them from my waist, one arm moving quickly back around her in case they failed her. Her knees buckled and my grip tightened, ready to lift her back into my arms.

"No…wait…" she said, her arms still tightly wound across my shoulders. "Give me a minute." As she straightened her legs, I took one hand to draw her arms from my neck, allowing one to fall at her side while the other stayed curled across my shoulder.

"Better?"

"I'm getting there," she replied shakily; her eyes lifted to meet mine. "Ju-just stay close in case I need you."

"How close do you want me?" I teased; the arm about her waist drawing her warm body up against mine. Cupping her chin, I tilted her face up as my own dipped down to meet her and I gently brushed her lips with mine.

"Umm…what?" she blurted out, her eyes slightly unfocused when our lips parted. I chuckled again and started forward, tucking her close at my side as we walked. She stiffened beside me and drew to a stop; I paused, gazing down at her.

"What is it?" I asked, surprised by the alarm on her face.

"Edward, the sun!" She pointed toward a break in the trees, where a bright shaft of sunlight was visible.

"Oh Bella," I sighed, smiling down at her. "I sometimes forget that you don't remember everything I've told you about myself. Sunlight can't hurt me," I promised. Reluctantly I withdrew from her embrace and gently nudged her toward the edge of the trees.

"Step out into the clearing and I'll show you what I mean." Her brow furrowed in that familiar way, but she complied. Though she hadn't noticed, I wore the same outfit I had worn that first journey here – one outfit I had refused to allow Alice to throw away. I unbuttoned my white shirt, pausing as I heard her gasp. "Bella?"

"It's beautiful," she sighed. I gazed through the trees to see her twirling in a slow circle, her expression full of wonder. The sunlight lit up her features, the red in her dark tresses; the awed smile on her face. I couldn't disagree with her – it _was_ beautiful, even more so now that she was there to brighten it up. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the sunlight.

She was in profile as I entered the meadow; I watched her head tilt upward as the sunlight bounced off my cold, hard skin and caressed her face. As if in slow motion, Bella turned to face me, a small gasp of surprise escaped her as her mouth fell open. Her lower lip trembled, though I saw no trace of fear in her eyes. She swallowed hard, her heart racing, and she took several slow steps toward me, her hand outstretched.

"Edward," she sighed and I felt my chest constrict at the sound of my name on her lips. Another step and her trembling fingers touched the hard plane of my chest; my eyes fell shut involuntarily as she moved closer and the warmth of her palm burned a trail across my upper body.

Bella moved closer still and I trembled as her other hand moved to join the first. I groaned aloud as fingers lightly traced the lines of my throat and jaw; my breath coming faster as one hand skimmed a trail down my torso to my waist. This had to be Heaven – or at least as close as I was allowed to it.

"Bella…" I growled out her name as my arms encircled her, my lips blindly seeking hers as her hands twisted in my hair. We sank to the meadow floor, her warm, soft body lying across mine. I inhaled the scent of her and my throat burned. I groaned; I'd forgotten how much more potent the sun and the rain made the fragrance coming off her skin.

I broke away, finally, reluctantly, and she curled up beside me, her cheek blazing hot against my skin. The only sound in the meadow was our quick, shallow breaths; in a close race as to which was breathing faster. Warm fingers traced circles across my abdomen, burning my cold flesh as they moved back and forth. The feeling was exquisite; drawing her body closer, I sighed and buried my face in her hair.

I could have lain like that forever – with her tucked at my side, the heat coming off her skin warming me in a way the sun never could. But while her warmth was comforting on my cool skin, the same could not be said for her. When she began to shiver in earnest, I reluctantly shifted to separate myself from her and rise into a sitting position.

"No," Bella protested. Her arms curled tighter around my waist and she buried her face into my neck as I sat up.

"Bella, you're cold…" My admonishment froze on my lips as hers found the spot where shoulder and throat met. I felt a shiver of my own travel down my spine as her mouth moved over my flesh. She shifted until she was in my lap; my arms involuntarily tightening around her and drawing her closer. Her mouth on my skin sent shockwaves through me until I was trembling as hard as she was.

"Bella," I rasped, knowing I should stop her…and also knowing stopping her was the last thing I wanted to do. I shifted her away for just long enough to crush my mouth to hers and then fell back against the ground, her warm body once again lying atop mine.

My breath came in fast, short spurts; in perfect time with the beating of her heart as I waged a battle within myself. Between doing what was right…and what I wanted. I longed to roll along the meadow floor until she was beneath me, her soft, warm body inviting. I wanted to caress every inch of her silken skin, feel it warm beneath my fingers as she flushed with excitement.

Wild fantasies flashed through my mind. My Bella lying amongst the wildflowers as I slowly undressed her, her pale skin luminescent in the sunlight that danced off my own flesh. Her heat radiating through me as I sank down into her soft, beckoning warmth. I wanted to bury myself deep within her and lie there forever. Forever would never be long enough.

"No," I growled as I discovered Bella on the ground under me, my body pressed hard against hers, bruising her delicate skin. I pushed myself away – carefully – not wishing to injure her further. My keen eyes scanned every visible inch of her skin for marks that my reprehensible behavior may have caused.

"Edward?" I heard the confusion in her voice, mingled with fear and – damn it – passion. I ignored that last emotion, squelching the part of me that sang along in perfect harmony. I could not lose control. Mere seconds of distraction and I very nearly could have done irreparable damage.

"Bella, are you alright?" I asked tenderly, seeking out her eyes in search of a lie. "Did I hurt you?"

"Hurt…me?" There _was_ hurt in her voice, but it was not the kind I meant. Not bodily harm, but emotional. That I had pulled away…that I didn't care enough. That I didn't want her. Damn it, didn't she know how difficult it was for me to separate myself from her? How it caused me physical pain, not touching her, not holding her close to me.

"Bella…" I groaned, rising swiftly to my feet and putting some space between us. I turned my back to her, knowing that if I were to gaze into those warm chocolate eyes I would be lost. I _would_ hurt her. I wanted her so badly I could taste it; every inch of my body thrummed with need. If I turned back to her now, I wouldn't be able to stop myself from taking what I wanted.

"I could never forgive myself if I ever hurt you, Bella," I said softly. I winced at the words as they spilled from me. Because I'd never said a truer statement. Because I'd said those very words before. And because I had hurt her – more times than I cared to count. Small insignificant hurts…and larger ones, that I would spend the rest of my existence regretting.

A loud gasp tore from her throat and I whirled to face her as her heart raced uncontrollably. I looked in her pale face and I saw…fear. No, not fear – absolute terror.

"Bella! What is it? What's wrong?" I took a step toward her, my eyes widening in shock as she backed away quickly, her heart climbing to even faster speeds. Dear God, she was afraid of me! Why? What had I said – what had I done – to deserve such a look in those eyes.

"Di-did you bring me here to…to…?" Her eyes were round with fear as she stumbled backward.

"Bella, no!" I declared fervently as I suddenly realized where her thoughts had gone. My words had brought her memory of our first trip to this meadow back to her – exactly why Carlisle would have warned against this fool idea of mine.

"Bella, I love you. I would throw myself onto a fire before I would ever intentionally hurt you." I cringed, knowing that – while the words were true, truer now than ever – it had not always been so. I quickly rearranged my expression and prayed she hadn't noticed.

"So," she mused, her fear diminishing slightly as her brow puckered in that familiar and endearing way. "So, my blood no longer holds the same…fascination for you as it did before?"

Ugh! I groaned internally. Why did she always ask the difficult questions? Ones where the truth had the potential to frighten her further? And why now, after all this time, were her reactions those of a normal person who'd just discovered someone they loved was a vampire?

I phrased my response carefully; wanting to be honest, yet reassuring. "Isabella, I love everything about you. _You_ fascinate me – _you_ appeal to me. But I would never hurt you like that. To hurt you would be to tear my own heart out, which no longer beats but for you."

"But I still…smell good to you?" An impish grin stole over her face and I sighed in relief.

"Yes," I admitted, groaning as I opened my arms and she stepped into my embrace. "The sun and the rain enhance its appeal even more." I buried my face in her hair and inhaled. "Simply mouthwatering," I teased.

The change came just as abruptly as before. She tore herself from me, my arms falling away quickly so as not to injure her. The fear was back in her gaze, but it wasn't me she was seeing as her eyes flitted about the meadow. Her head twisted from side to side as if searching for something…or seeing something only she could see. Something truly frightening.

"Bella?" I asked in alarm. I saw and sensed nothing menacing in the meadow around us. Bella's breathing hitched as her heart pounded. Her face ashen, she uttered one panicked word before collapsing into my arms, her eyes rolling back in her head.

"Laurent!"


	19. Chapter 19

_Bella_

"How could you _be_ so reckless? Do you realize the damage you may have caused?"

"Carlisle, I…I didn't think…"

"_That_ is obvious."

The voice was little more than a whisper but the venom in the words was unmistakable…and surprising. Though flawed, never in my memory could I recall Carlisle ever speaking harshly to anyone, let alone Edward. Edward's reply was anguished, a mixture of fear and remorse.

"Carlisle, _please_…"

I could feel my heart start to race as confusion raged within me. How did we get here? Where _was_ here? And how did we meet up with Carlisle? The last thing I remembered was lying in the meadow with Edward.

"Listen to her heart racing," Carlisle hissed. "How many more times do you think it can continue to be abused like this and not be affected? Bella is not indestructible, Edward!"

"_I_ am not indestructible," Edward replied, his velvet voice strained with immeasurable pain.

"Yet you risk both of your lives with this silly fantasy of yours…"

"Stop! Please, stop!" I cried out, unable to listen to anymore. I couldn't take it, couldn't bear to hear Edward's father figure berate him this way. For what? What had he done that was so reprehensible?

"Bella!" Edward was at my side in an instant, his cool hands cradling one of mine. "Bella, I was so worried…"

"Please don't argue," I pleaded, my eyes searching Carlisle's – who had approached and sat at my other side. "Edward didn't do anything…"

"Shh, Bella," Carlisle's voice was gentle. "Don't worry yourself. Everything is fine." His hands lightly moved over me, checking my temperature and my pulse. "You fainted. Do you remember?"

"N-no," I admitted softly. "Edward took me to the meadow…" I started. _'Our meadow,'_ I amended silently. "We were lying in the sun…I couldn't have gotten heatstroke, could I? It wasn't warm enough…" 

"No, Bella…"

"Edward," Carlisle interrupted; a note of caution in his voice for his son. "We should let Bella rest." I sensed from his expression that he hoped to continue their earlier conversation away from where I could overhear them.

"Don't go," I begged, my fingers curling around Edward's. My eyes, wide with an unnamed fear, bored into his golden ones. I wasn't sure why, but the thought of him leaving my sight – even for a moment – threw me into a panic. "Please, don't leave me. Please?"

"Bella, it's all right," Edward said softly, stroking my hair. "I will _never_ leave you," he declared fervently; there was an underlying tone to his voice that I did not recognize.

"Edward, what happened? I-I don't remember…" I glanced about and realized I was back in that room that I had been in right after my accident. The room with the golden carpet and the golden comforter was over me. Edward's room – it must be…but it was different than I remembered. And yet it wasn't.

"Bella?"

I rubbed the crease in my forehead with my free hand. I recalled waking in this room – had it been a week ago now? – and not remembering anything about the room or its occupants. But now, lying here, I saw Edward and I in this very room – though it looked quite different in my memory. There had been no bed in that room – because Edward didn't sleep. Ever.

"_Bella?" _ Edward's voice held a note of panic as it broke through my reverie.

"When did you get the bed?" I blurted, confusion coloring my voice and my expression.

"_What?"_

"The bed…it wasn't here the first time I came here," I said slowly. "It seems so unnecessary…you don't need it for…Oh. _Oh!_" Comprehension dawned on me and my face flooded with color.

"You remember the first time I brought you here?" Edward asked gently, choosing to ignore my last comment. Surely he surmised the realization I had come to.

"I remember you bringing me to meet your family," I replied; the long-forgotten images flooding back to me. "I remember…" a beautiful melody played across my mind. "My lullaby – you wrote that…for me." My eyes welled up at the knowledge that the music I'd soothed myself with for the past week had been composed by Edward – my favorite had been written specifically for me.

"Edward…" Carlisle's voice was strained, the concern very evident in the muted tones.

"You told me stories…Carlisle's history. And then you brought me up here to your room…"

"Bella…Carlisle is right," Edward interrupted; he took my chin between his cool fingers and tipped my head to lock his eyes with mine. Once captured by his gaze, the intruding memories faded as I concentrated on remembering to breathe. "You should rest," he said, echoing his father's words.

"But…"

"Jasper." Carlisle's voice was soft, but insistent. I pulled my eyes reluctantly from Edward's face to watch as his blond brother swept into the room. I sighed, my confusion ebbing away and I suddenly remembered Jasper's ability to manipulate emotions.

"No…" What was supposed to be a protest came out as little more than a garbled whisper. Jasper's hand lightly caressed my shoulder and my eyes fluttered as I fought to keep them open. The pressure of his hand increased and the battle was lost. The last image I saw was of Carlisle and Edward whispering furiously in the far corner of the room, their voices too soft for my ears to hear as sleep overtook me.


	20. Chapter 20

_Edward_

"Surely you realize the memory that's coming next?"

"The baseball game…"

"And James," Carlisle added, his tone still tinged with contempt. He eyed me speculatively. "Are you certain she said Laurent's name?"

"Do you think I would make that up?" I asked incredulously. I realized he was angry – he had a right to be – but I couldn't see how he would ever assume I would lie to him when it concerned Bella's health and well-being.

"No…no," he amended, shaking his head slowly. "She doesn't seem to remember it now…"

No, Bella seemingly had no memory of uttering Laurent's name. Nor did it appear that she recalled being afraid of me. I don't know why I didn't mention that part to Carlisle – I probably should have. But it was too private – too personal…and too painful. The fearful look in her eyes, as if she actually thought I had brought her there to end her life. I shuddered at the thought.

"And you have no idea what might have triggered the memory?"

I ignored the irritation behind the words and concentrated on Carlisle's question. He was right to be angry – my actions had been beyond reckless. The knowledge that – despite my attempts to stay away – Bella still loved me and wanted to be with me had me flying and I had acted without thinking. I had listened to my heart instead of my head.

'_Ha!' _ I laughed inwardly – mirthlessly – at that thought. That I had allowed an organ that ceased to beat nearly a century ago to govern my actions. Rather than doing what I knew was right; safe.

My gaze swept across the room until it found her; of their own accord, my eyes searched for her as if they couldn't bear to have her out of sight. And they couldn't – _I_ couldn't. Her face still had not completely regained its color; her slight frame seemed swallowed up by the enormous bed, making her look even smaller, frailer.

"Edward? Can you think of nothing that might have triggered Bella's memory?"

"No," I replied in a pained whisper. There was nothing in that meadow that was connected to James and his coven – not that I had seen. Could it have been something I had said to Bella that connected the two? I searched through the words I had spoken to her and found no link there either. It made no sense…and that worried me.

"What is _he_ doing here?" I muttered angrily as a barrage of half-incoherent rumblings and curses assailed me. I turned to Emmett, who suddenly appeared in the doorway. "Get rid of him," I growled.

"Who is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked a second before recognition hit. "Jacob Black? Came here? Why?"

"He went to the school to see Bella and discovered she never made it to class today," I replied tersely. I sighed as I heard him arguing heatedly with Emmett about wanting to see Bella. "I suppose I should be grateful that he didn't run straight to Charlie…"

"Perhaps you should speak to him, Edward." My gaze swept from Carlisle's face to Bella and back again. I knew he was right…but the thought of leaving Bella's side was painful. The rising voices below spurred me into action.

"I suppose you're right," I sighed again, heading for the stairs. Hoping to take care of this quickly, so I could hurry back before Bella awoke. "Emmett," I said softly, placing a hand on my brother's shoulder as I moved around him to face my rival.

"Where's Bella?" Jacob huffed, his nostrils flaring. "I want to see her."

"She's sleeping, Jacob. Please let her rest. I will tell her you were looking for…"

"Why wasn't she in school today? Where did you…?" He paused suddenly, his eyes narrowing. "Why is she sleeping? Is she hurt? What happened?"

"She's…" I started to say that she was fine, but I knew he'd see the lie for what it was. I sighed, closing my eyes briefly as I rubbed the bridge of my nose. "Bella had another flash of memory. While we were…hiking," I edited, only divulging as much as was necessary. Jacob didn't need to know about our meadow – that was between Bella and I.

"Hiking? Hik…" the mongrel broke off and a flood of memories washed over me. Bella telling Jacob about this place she had found hiking. Memories of them pouring over maps and grids trying to locate it – the meadow. She had never explained the significance of the place…but he knew now. And I felt his pain at that knowledge.

And then there were other memories. Ones that filled me with dread…and fury. Bella, pale and frightened, in the meadow as Laurent advanced upon her. Watching the five enormous wolves place themselves between her and her attacker.

I reeled back in shock at what I saw. I knew that Jacob's pack had rescued Bella from Laurent – a fact that I would never forget or be able to thank them enough for. But to see it through his eyes – see the fear on Bella's face as Laurent stalked toward her. To hear the way he spoke to her, apologizing for killing her as if he had merely stepped on her foot. And, all the while, seeing the thirst darkening his crimson eyes…

And I had taken her to where it had happened. Not only that, I had uttered the very words he had – right before he'd moved in for the kill. _'Simply mouthwatering.'_

"Oh God," I groaned, wondering not for the first time how I could possibly be nauseous. I had done it – hurt her again. It had been my foolishness that had brought about the flash of memory that caused her collapse.

"What?" Jacob grumbled, confused by my expression.

Normally so carefully suppressed, I felt my anger – my hatred – for Laurent flare to the surface. It was stronger even than my hatred for James. In the months that Laurent had spent with Tanya's coven in Denali, he had become an extension of – an addition to – the family. For him to consider – even for the briefest of seconds – to take Bella's life, knowing how I felt about her, was the most severe of betrayals.

Adding insult to injury was the knowledge that he had stolen the meadow from us. Taken the most sacred of memories Bella and I shared and tainted it beyond repair. How could I take her there and not be reminded of what had nearly happened to her in that clearing? How could I put her through the agony of being reminded as well?

"What's going on, bloodsucker?" Jacob said through gritted teeth. _'Impatient wretch,'_ I thought; my internal ramblings surely had only taken a few human seconds. But then Jacob Black was never the most patient person – nor was he entirely human.

"It's nothing. Bella is going to be fine." I assured both of us. "And it's none of your concern…"

"Bella is my friend," Jacob shot back angrily. "And even if it isn't any of my concern as you say, it is Charlie's. What about him? Shouldn't he know…?"

"Charlie knows Bella is here," I lied smoothly. "She told him we would be studying together – between now and Graduation."

"But does he know she skipped school today?" he sneered, catching me in the lie. "Does he know she had another episode?"

"I don't have time for this, mongrel," I snarled. "If Bella wakes…" I paused, and we both stiffened as sounds from upstairs reached our ears. The sound of a heartbeat accelerating. Another nightmare.

Jacob forgotten, I whirled and rushed for the stairs, paying scant attention as my brothers and Rosalie argued briefly with Jacob before Rose slammed the door in his face. I raced up the two flights of stairs, hurrying through my door – only to be stopped by my father's hand gripping my arm as I entered.

"Carlisle…"

"No Edward. We have to let it follow its normal progression."

"Normal?" I glared at him, taking my gaze from the figure flailing wildly upon the bed; every whimper trailing across the room carving, razor sharp, into my chest. "There is _nothing_ normal about this!"

"You're right," he agreed solemnly, his golden eyes scorching into mine. "But the damage is done. The memories triggered by today's – _excursion_ – have brought others to the surface. And attempting to forestall them now may do far worse damage than already wrought."

"Damn it, Edward! Where are you taking me?" Bella called out and I fought against Carlisle's restraining grip. I barely heard him call out for Emmett as she continued. "You have to take me home!"

"Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!" Bella wailed; each word a knife in my heart. I broke from Carlisle's grasp to find two steel bands wrapped around my chest, pinning my arms at my sides.

"Emmett, let me go!" I growled, struggling against his iron grip.

"Sorry, bro," he said remorsefully. "I can't do that." He tightened his hold as I fought to free myself.

"I love you," Bella said in a fierce whisper. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now." I fell back against my brother's stone chest as her words crashed over me, the memory of the first time she uttered them crystalline in my head.

My eyes never left Bella. My ears caught even the smallest sound of distress emanating from her. The escalating heartbeats, the soft sobs and sighs; every mumbled word as she relived the confrontation she had with Charlie that first night the tracker hunted her.

She stilled and I relaxed, hoping that was the end of it. For now. I knew we would have to deal with the remaining memories…and soon.

"Emmett…"

"No can do, bro. Not until she wakes up."

"What?" Bella gasped aloud and I sighed; apparently my wish this day would not be granted. Her expression was fearful, but with a trace of regret. "I'm not," she muttered softly. "If anything happens to one of them, it will be for nothing."

She was quiet then, but I knew it wasn't over. Her eyes moved rapidly beneath their translucent lids; her heart slowed and then sped up again, repeating the cycle several times. A few times her mouth opened but she didn't speak and I ached to know what she was seeing behind those lids.

"Mom, please listen to me," she pleaded softly. A second of confusion washed over me before I realized what she was remembering. James' phone call – where he'd convinced Bella that her mother's life was in danger. And she had willingly agreed to meet him to save her – to give up her own life for Renee's.

"Emmett, please," I implored him, my fingers digging into his forearms in an attempt to pry them loose. I felt their pitying thoughts – my family; the ones in the room with me and the ones below – and it angered me. Couldn't they see the pain Bella was in, the pain I was in? Why wouldn't they let me help her?

A gentle hand stroked through the hair at my temple; a mother's touch. I turned pleading eyes onto her and I could see empathy within her own, but knew she would not assist me. "She's all alone," I whispered, my gaze turning back to Bella.

"No," Esme said just as softly, her hand dropping to squeeze my shoulder. "She knows you're near."

"She doesn't…she's gone through this all alone once before. How can I – how can _you_ – make her suffer through it again?"

"I'm not." Bella's voice rang out strongly in the nearly silent room. Her voice was oddly calm, tinged with relief. She was very still; her heart beating its slowest since the nightmare began. If I hadn't known what she was remembering – hadn't seen the video that monster had made to torment me – her words and tone would be confusing. But knowing my Bella, her lack of visible fear was familiar, if unnerving.

"No, I don't think so," she replied to the tracker's question of my avenging her. I recalled with alarming clarity that videotape that showed how James stalked her, toyed with her like a cat plays with a mouse just before it pounces. "At least I asked him not to."

Her letter. I groaned at the memory. Arriving at the airport in Phoenix, hearing Alice's panic before I ever saw her face. Alice holding the letter out before her with shaking hands. She had been so focused on James – trying to see what his plans were – that she missed Bella's scheming right under her nose. I cringed, remembering how I'd railed at her for letting Bella slip away.

I recalled how heavy the hotel stationary felt in my hand as I unfolded the paper and stared at Bella's untidy scrawl. _'He has my mother and I have to try,'_ she'd written before going on to practically beg me not to seek James out. As if I would grant that final request – and at the time it felt like it had been her final request. I had no way to know for certain that the ballet studio James had lured her to was the one near her home – though it did seem like the most obvious choice.

The letter had slipped noiselessly from my numb fingers – how could my fingers be numb? I'd wondered at the time – to land at my feet seconds before I sprang into action. I raced through the airport, my family right behind me, and searched the nearby lot for the fastest vehicle I could find. Not bothering to see how far they were behind me, I slid behind the wheel and raced toward Scottsdale.

Bella's scream ripped me from my memories; I slumped against Emmett as her body jerked harshly upon the bed. My eyes closed, I knew this was when he'd kicked her across the room into a bank of mirrors. Her hand moved to her head, as if searching for the blood that had been there all those months ago.

"Easy kid…I may be immortal, but I'm not invulnerable." I looked down to see my fingers nearly digging grooves into Emmett's marble skin. I forced my fingers to relax. This was merely a dream; Bella was not in any physical danger from James anymore. He could no longer hurt her. Still, hearing her cry out at the remembered pain made me hurt along with her. Every scream made me want to scream out in unison, every injury inflicted upon her was felt by me as well.

"No, Edward, don't!" Bella cried out again, throwing her hand up to ward off her attacker. With a sharply drawn breath, she bolted upright in the bed, her eyes wide. Her gaze focused first on the crescent shaped scar on her hand – a physical reminder of James' attack. She traced it slowly with her fingers. Then her eyes found mine. She gasped audibly, swallowing hard.

"Emmett." He released me before his name completely passed my lips and I rushed to the bed, gathering Bella in my arms. She threw her arms around me, burying her face against my shoulder. She sobbed softly, her tears dampening the front of my shirt. "Bella," I whispered softly into her hair.

"You saved me," she replied. She pulled back to look into my eyes, hers glistening with tears. "You saved me." She seemed almost surprised at the revelation.

I cradled her face in my hands and looked deeply into her brown eyes. I wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Of course I saved you, you silly girl. I love you."

My thumb stroked across her lower lip and my head bowed toward hers. I pressed my lips gently to hers again and again as she clung to me. Behind me I heard a snort of relieved laughter from Emmett and the sound of a small hand smacking his arm. Esme. I heard her as she shepherded the others from the room, promising Carlisle he would have his chance to examine Bella shortly. "Let them have a few moments," I heard her say softly to him as she closed the door behind them.


	21. Chapter 21

_Bella_

"…_you silly girl. I love you."_ I heard the relief in his voice as he cradled me against him. Felt the tremor of his lips as they pressed to mine. Somewhere deep in the back of my mind I registered the three retreating figures – and what their presence meant. But I couldn't focus on that. All my attention – and my thoughts – were for him.

Edward.

In the days since my accident my mind had been whirling with all that I had lost – all that everyone was keeping from me. I'd never given much thought to how my accident had affected others. Until now.

Waking up – seeing Edward's face as his brother restrained him – told me so much more than words could ever say. The pain and torment there as he watched me wrestle with the demons in my memory…though I knew somehow that he could shed no tears, still I saw them in his eyes.

And then I was crying; clinging tightly to him as I sobbed his name. He rocked me gently, as if trying to calm a frightened child – though I was unsure which of us was in deeper pain.

"Bella," he whispered at my hairline, his lips caressing my forehead. He repeated my name – over and over – as he rained kisses across my face; at each temple, upon each closed eyelid, the tip of my nose, each cheek. And then, finally, as if he could no longer keep from doing so, his mouth covered mine.

Edward secured the blanket around me as he pulled me closer. He settled me onto his lap, cradling me against him. Curled up there at his strong chest was a pleasant, comforting feeling. Warmth – that had nothing to do with temperature. Though my mind continued to churn with the recently returned memories, the feel of his arms around me – the sound of his even breathing – pushed at my anxiety, soothing me. I sighed and leaned my head wearily on his shoulder.

His long fingers traced every curve of my face. Over and over, like a blind man committing a loved one's features to memory. Or someone waking from a dream and reassuring themselves that what stood before them was not merely an illusion.

The action invoked such a strong sense of déjà vu – that somehow, sometime, we had been here before – that I scanned my memory to find the link. Yet every time I tried, all I found were vague, cloudy images. I growled in frustration, all sense of calm washed away as earlier questions rose again to the surface.

"Bella, what is it?" Though his thumb continued its soothing dance across my cheek, his velvet voice held the barest hint of tension. "What's wrong?"

"Edward, what…how…" I stammered, not knowing which question I wanted answered first. "My parents…how did you explain? What did you tell them?"

"Bella, I…" 

"I think it would be all right to answer this question, Edward." I looked up where Carlisle stood in silhouette in the doorway. "Sorry to intrude…" he said apologetically as he entered the room. "But I'd like to examine Bella…if that's all right with you." His kind eyes gazed down at me for my approval.

"No!" I blurted out in a panic as Edward set me carefully on the bed and started to move away. "Don't…don't leave…"

As before, an irrational wave of fear washed over me. As if Edward would cease to exist if he left my sight. I clutched at his hand with both of mine and he squeezed them reassuringly.

"Bella," he said softly, "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." He grinned. "Where else would I go?"

He settled next to me on the bed, wrapping an arm about my shoulders as his father perched on the other side of me. Carlisle checked my pulse and my temperature; he pulled out a penlight and checked my eyes. 

"Bella," he said gently, "You need to try to calm down. I know things have been very confusing and frightening for you, but all the stress you're putting yourself through isn't good for you." He took out a stethoscope and I couldn't help but chuckle. Both he and Edward looked at me with a concerned expression.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, but…well…can't you hear my heartbeat just as well – if not better – without that?"

Both laughed and Carlisle nodded conceding the point. "Allow me some illusions, Bella," he mockingly scolded. "Imagine the talk there would be if I diagnosed a patient's arrhythmia from across the room – without even examining them."

"Huh," I pursed my lips, thinking on that a moment. "I suppose you have a point." I yawned, surprising myself. "It makes no sense that I should be tired – all I seem to do anymore is sleep…"

"I'm not certain the sleeping you've been doing would fall under the term restful," he replied, continuing his examination. I fought to keep my eyes open; even though I knew he was right – that the dreams and nightmares weren't soothing by any means – still, I felt weak for always being so tired.

"I believe you wanted an answer regarding what we told your parents about Phoenix?" I nodded; Edward pulled my head against his shoulder and I could hear him faintly humming my lullaby.

"We explained to them that I had brought Edward out to convince you to return home – here to Forks. And that you had an accident on your way up the hotel stairs to meet with him."

As he said the words, I could hear a similar echo of Edward's voice in my head, explaining in greater detail the ruse they had concocted for my family. _'It could happen,'_ he'd said with a grim smile. I flinched slightly at the memory of him listing my injuries and I felt his arm squeeze me tighter. The melody of my lullaby grew louder, my eyes growing heavier as I listened.

"You seem to be none the worse for wear," Carlisle said, his voice sounding very far away…yet there seemed to be a slight hitch in his voice – as if he weren't being entirely truthful. But I was too tired to make sense of that as I snuggled deeper into Edward's arms.

"I think a short nap will do you good," Carlisle added just before I drifted off.


	22. Chapter 22

_Edward_

'_Edward…we need to talk.'_

Looking into my father's amber eyes, I saw the determination in them and knew he would not be swayed. He'd refrained from reading me the riot act while Bella had been awake, after seeing how distressed she became. But he was still angry.

And worried. His thoughts were flying in so many different directions at once, that I could not get a handle on them. I could tell also, that there were thoughts he was shielding from me; vague shadows of Bella and myself slipped from his mind into mine.

"Carlisle, what is it?" I asked finally, when his troubled expression deepened. I hadn't realized how good he had gotten at hiding his thoughts from me. Alice must be giving him lessons.

"Edward, I'm…" I saw him play around with several words – looking for the one with the most impact, the one that would most closely convey his feelings. "I'm fearful for Bella's well-being – both physical and emotional. She's so very fragile – surely you can see that."

"Of course I see that," I hissed angrily. How could he think otherwise?

"Yet you allow your euphoria at Bella's returning love cloud your better judgment. Wait…before you attempt to justify your actions – or worse yet, apologize again – I _do_ understand."

"I know how difficult this has been for you, Edward. Truly, I do understand. The two of you are so entwined – so deeply rooted in one another's lives – that, when one of you is in the pain, the other hurts. It's why I knew she would come back to you," he added, allowing a small smile. "But…have you truly looked at her lately?"

"I look at her all the time, Carlisle." I felt the flare of anger rise once again. "I can't _not_ look at her. Having her out of my sight for one moment is painful – more painful than anything…"

"Yes, Edward. You look at her – your eyes never leave her – but do you _see_ her?" He glanced down at Bella, curled up asleep at my side, and his expression softened. "When you look at Bella, what do you see? You see the most beautiful creature you've ever beheld, don't you? I know – that's exactly how I see your mother. Esme was a heartbeat or two from death, and still she was the most breathtaking woman. So I do know…"

"Bella is so delicate – so fragile…"

"You think I don't know that she's fragile?" I struggled to keep my voice down, my anger swiftly consuming me. "I have spent every moment with her so very aware of how breakable she is, of how…" I broke off as Bella stirred beside me. She snuggled closer, her arms tightening around my waist. I softly hummed her lullaby as I gently stroked her hair.

"Yet you took her out there today, knowing that the place would conjure up memories for her?"

"Good memories," I muttered.

"Or so you thought," Carlisle retorted. He glanced thoughtfully at Bella for a moment. "Edward…I don't know how much more of this she can take. And I have no idea how to stop it from happening either."

"Bella is the strongest person I know…"

"Even the strongest person has limits, Edward. Look at her. See the dark circles under her eyes. She hasn't slept, she's barely eaten. Charlie is extremely worried – and I can't say I blame him." Carlisle looked me square in the eye. "Charlie said it reminds him of how she was…"

'_When you left.'_ He didn't have to say the words, I heard them as loudly as if they were shouted; each word like a slap across my face. I felt my expression harden even as my arms instinctively drew Bella tighter against me. Would I never be allowed to forget the biggest regret of my life?

"Look at how she clings to you – even in sleep. As if she's afraid you'll vanish on the wind. And I imagine she doesn't even understand why. Those memories have yet to return. Can you imagine what may happen when they do, Edward?"

If I were honest, I'd have to say that thought hadn't occurred to me. I had been so focused on winning Bella back – on her finding her way back to me – that I hadn't given thought to how she would react to remembering my leaving. Would my declarations now of love and devotion be enough to lessen the pain of those memories when they resurface?

Carlisle's sudden silence surprised me. His expression puzzled, he watched Bella closely. _'Interesting…I wonder what it means…'_

"What is it, Carlisle?"

"Have you noticed, Edward," he said slowly, thoughtfully, his head tilted to one side. "Have you noticed that Bella hasn't had a single dream or nightmare while we've been talking? No sign of distress the entire time she's been lying there…in your arms?"

I looked down at the dark head resting on my shoulder. Tilting my head slightly, I gazed down at her face and realized Carlisle was right. Bella looked…peaceful – certainly more at ease than any time I had watched her since her accident. Except, perhaps, for that car ride home from Port Angeles. Was that just last night? So much had happened within a few hours time that it seemed days since she'd dozed in my lap on that ride home.

I glanced at the clock. Charlie would be getting home soon. "Should I wake her and take her home?" I asked halfheartedly, not wanting her to move an inch from where she was, curled against my side.

"I'll call Charlie and let him know that Bella will be joining us for dinner," Carlisle spoke gently, his hand light on my shoulder. "Let her sleep. Besides, Esme will love having the chance to cook something for Bella tonight." He turned toward the door and then paused, something coming to him suddenly.

'_She never did tell you what she saw…'_

"No," I hissed, Laurent's predatory gaze filling my mind again. "But I know…"

"How?"

"Jacob. I mentioned that Bella and I had gone hiking and the memory came to him unbidden. That was where Laurent had met up with Bella while we were gone. That was where he had intended to make her his next meal…and where the wolves gained my undying gratitude for tearing him limb from limb."

When I saw his eyes narrow; sensed his condemnation was about to begin anew, I added quickly, "I didn't know, Carlisle. Bella never told me where the encounter had occurred."

"And she doesn't remember it?" I shook my head again. "Unfortunately, that will be another memory for her to have to live through more than once." I sighed, nodding as he moved toward the door once more. He pulled it closed behind him.

Bella stirred at the soft click of the door closing; I hadn't realized she was that close to waking. I began humming her lullaby again, slowly stroking her back with my hand and watched her closely as she settled. I felt her body relax against mine, saw the slight turn of her mouth as a small smile appeared there.

I watched her sleep, marveling at how different it was than observing her slumber from a distance or with a pane of glass separating us. And how very different from the first night she slept in my arms.

That first night, every move she made wafted her scent over me and it took everything I had to fight against the urge to strike. My entire body tensed and I'd spent the entire night barely breathing. Her warmth, her beating heart, had been a curse to torment me those long hours spent on her narrow bed.

Now, now I reveled in her warmth; her heart beat for both of us. Having her body pressed up against the length of mine, her head resting upon my chest, her hand curled into a soft fist on my sternum felt so natural. It felt right. It felt like home.

My fingers stroked along the smooth silky porcelain of her arm, tracing her slender fingers as her hand uncurled under my touch. Moving to her face, I stroked her cheek, my hand slipping down the lines of her neck and cupped her chin. I tilted her face up towards mine and bent to press my lips to hers.

Bella sighed and stretched, her lips slowly responding to the pressure of mine against them. Her hand twisted in my shirt and she turned slightly, until she was half lying on top of me. I grinned as her eyes fluttered open when I pulled away.

"Mmm…I could get used to being awakened like that."

"And I would gladly wake you up like that every day for the rest of your life." The skin between her eyebrows puckered and she frowned slightly. "What is it?"

"Nothing…" she replied, shaking her head slowly. "Everything is just so…jumbled. Some things seem so…familiar, and yet I can't place them. I guess that doesn't make much sense, does it?"

"More than you think."

Bella glanced around the room, her gaze falling on the fading light outside the window. "Charlie!" she bolted upright in the bed. "I have to go…he'll be worried…"

"Easy, Bella," I gathered her against my chest; she'd barely left my embrace and my arms already ached to hold her. How would I ever be able to let her go tonight when I had to take her home? "Carlisle called Charlie and told him you would be joining us for dinner tonight."

"Dinner? Here?" she asked incredulously. I couldn't help but chuckle at the brief look of distaste on her face.

"Esme is looking forward to cooking for you again," I said with a grin. "I promise everything will be fully cooked."

"I…I didn't mean…" she flushed and I curled my hand over the pink flesh of her cheek, marveling in its warmth.

"I'm joking, love." She leaned her head into my hand; my thumb gently traced her lower lip. "Bella," I said hoarsely, all trace of teasing gone from my tone. "I know things have been very confusing this past week. That there are still so many questions you have that I can't answer – I wish I could. But know this – please, _please_ remember this above all else. No matter what comes…I love you, Isabella Swan. I have always loved you. I will always love you. For the rest of my existence."

'_Even if you end up hating me for hurting you.'_ The thought slammed into me and I struggled to keep from saying it aloud. Not because it was untrue – I would love her no matter what happened – no matter what she decided. But the thought was too painful to bear.

"Edward…" I could see that I had probably said too much as it was – that my words – my conviction – confused and frightened her. I pulled her to my chest, my hand cradling her head. I bent down and inhaled the fragrance of her, knowing that even if she returned to me completely – if she joined me in this half-life as she had always promised – I would never forget her scent.

"Oh no!" Bella groaned.

"What's wrong?" I pulled back to look into her chocolate eyes.

"Well, I just lost another day of studying," she sighed, throwing up her hands. "I'm never going to graduate."

"Don't worry about that, Bella," I replied, smiling, a thought suddenly occurring to me. "I have a plan."


	23. Chapter 23

_Bella_

"Edward…I don't know about this…" I said warily as the silver Volvo sped down the road toward Charlie's home.

"Bella," he replied calmly, his eyes moving to focus on me. "I'm not giving you the answers…"

"Watch the road, please," I pleaded, blanching as he took a curve at an alarming speed.

He opened his mouth to argue; then stopped. Something about the expression on my face must have given him pause. His eyes turned soft, full of a wide range of emotions; love, remorse, concern…and pain. He turned his eyes back to the road and I felt the car slow as his foot eased measurably on the gas pedal. "Of course."

"Edward…" I swallowed hard, fighting against the urge to reach out and touch him. My hand moved involuntarily toward him, drawing my hand back as I saw his knuckles tighten on the steering wheel.

"It's not cheating, Bella," Edward said, and I could tell he was struggling to rein in his emotions. "Alice is not giving you the answers. _I'm_ not giving you the answers. She is just assisting in narrowing down what areas you need to concentrate your studies on. It's just a Cliff Notes version of the curriculum."

"So, Alice is your version of Cliff Notes?" I asked, skeptically, and he laughed, the tension easing from him.

"Something like that." His easy mood didn't linger. Turning the corner onto Charlie's street, his mouth set into a grim line and his hands clutched the steering wheel tightly.

"What is it?" I peered in the darkness but couldn't see anything.

"Your father has company," Edward said through gritted teeth. A moment later I caught sight of the VW Rabbit in the driveway.

"Jacob," I whispered, feeling a strange wave of guilt. Guilt – because I hadn't spoken to Jake since he'd called and said he wouldn't be over several nights before. Guilt – because I knew he felt more strongly about me than I did for him. And because I knew that his presence at the house meant that Edward wouldn't stay…and I wanted Edward to stay.

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly as he pulled to stop in front of the house. I reached out a calming hand and touched his arm, shocked at the tension I found there. His entire body was taut; jaw clenched, his hands gripped the wheel so tightly I wouldn't have been surprised to see the wheel snap under the pressure.

"Edward!" I watched anxiously as he forced his eyes closed for one long moment, drawing a slow, deep breath between taut lips. When he turned to me he smiled, though his eyes were still dark with fury.

"Are you ready?"

"You're coming in?" I asked, surprised he would brave the hostile environment he was sure to meet inside. He climbed from the car and opened my door for me.

"Only for a moment." His smile widened, his eyes softening as he watched my face fall in disappointment. Leaning in, he brushed my cheek with the back of his hand and whispered, "I'll only be gone a short while, Bella. I'll be back when your father is asleep. I promise."

His lips brushed lightly against mine and I felt my heart leap in my chest. He chuckled softly as he pulled away, taking my hand in his. "Let's go."

His arm slipped around my waist and I leaned my head against his shoulder as we made our way up to the front door. It felt so natural, so comfortable, having his arm around me. Like I belonged there.

"Bells?" Charlie called out as I stepped through the door. I could hear the sounds of a baseball game on the playing on the television. Edward allowed me to enter in front of him, but his arm stayed around me. Once inside the door he drew me back against his side. "How did the studying…?"

Charlie's voice broke off as he spotted Edward next to me. Jacob and Billy Black were sitting with him; both turned as we entered the room, their dark eyes flashing with such hatred that I instinctively shrank back into Edward's protective embrace.

"We have a plan of attack that I feel will ensure Bella getting through her finals with flying colors," Edward said evenly. He gave my hip a light squeeze that none of the men across the room from us missed. "Between Alice and myself, I think we'll have Bella well prepared."

"Oh…well…that's good," Charlie spluttered, his eyes narrowed. "It's late," he said gruffly, earning an incredulous look from me. It was barely nine-thirty – and Jake was still visiting, so how he could make such a declaration was beyond me.

"You look tired, Bells." His expression softened as he looked at me. And I couldn't disagree with his words.

"I'll be going now," Edward said evenly. "Good evening, Chief Swan. Mr. Black." Jacob only got a curt nod of his head. He pulled me back slightly into the front room, though not far enough that the three men in the living room couldn't still see us if they tried.

Hands cradling my face, his lips brushed my forehead lightly. "Can I drive you to school tomorrow?"

It surprised me that he felt he had to ask. Didn't he realize how I wanted to spend every moment of every day with him? I nodded silently, feeling three pairs of eyes boring into my back. He tilted my face until our gazes met; his jaw was tight and a defiant look sprang into his eyes. He lowered his head and his lips met mine, gentle and yet demanding.

The kiss went on longer than I expected with our audience and my head began to swim. My hands groped blindly for his waist as I felt my knees shake slightly. Still he continued to keep my mouth prisoner, until my father cleared his throat loudly. My eyes were glassy and unfocused when he pulled away, but I thought I noticed a triumphant gleam in his as he smiled down at me.

"Tomorrow, then."

"Uh huh," I stammered, leaning heavily against the doorjamb. I drew in several harsh breaths, trying to clear my head as he stepped outside. He turned back as I moved to close the door and he threw me a quick wink and mouthed the word, "Soon."

"Bella," I heard Charlie call sharply from the other room as I pushed the door closed. I sighed, unsure what to expect when I stepped into the lion's den. Charlie's gaze was thunderous; Jacob's was dejected. And Billy's – Billy's expression I could not get a read on.

I walked quickly through the room into the kitchen, avoiding their gazes as much as possible. Tossing my bag on the table, I went to get a glass of water. As I gulped down several mouths full, I heard someone enter the room behind me.

"Mike Newton called this evening," Charlie began. I closed my eyes with a sigh; from the tone of Charlie's voice, I knew this would not be good. "He wanted to be sure again that he hadn't hurt you last night…especially since you didn't show up to school today."

Oh yeah. This _was_ worse than I thought.

"Would you care to explain where you were today?" Chief Swan was in full interrogation mode. I had to figure out something – some way to explain today away…but how?

"Well…Edward came to pick me up this morning, but…but I wasn't feeling well and…"

"Are you all right?" Oh…maybe that wasn't the best idea. From interrogation to concern in two seconds flat. I held my hands up as he took a step toward me, afraid that if Charlie touched me, I'd cave and spill the whole truth – or at least what I remembered of it.

"I fainted. But I'm okay, Charlie. Really," I added when he looked suspicious. I hated lying to him. But I wasn't lying – not really. I mean, I did pass out. Just not here. "Edward was concerned, so he took me to Carlisle. I told him he was overreacting, but he insisted."

"Least he does one thing right," Charlie mumbled. I glared at him. "What did Carlisle say?"

"He said I'm fine. That I just needed some rest. And I _did_ rest for awhile…then Edward suggested we get started on studying…" Charlie looked slightly mollified; his eyes still narrowed in suspicion.

"I'm sorry, Dad. I should have called and told you." _I should have known that someone would rat me out_, I thought bitterly.

"I'm just glad you're okay," he mumbled gruffly. "Try and remember next time. Oh…" he added as he turned to head back to his ballgame – and his company. "I think you should do your studying here tomorrow night."

"I…I'll check into it with Edward and Alice, Dad," I said quickly. "No promises, though."

"Bells…"

"Okay, Dad. Okay." He left the room finally and I had a chance to get my thoughts together. Cursing Mike under my breath for all I was worth, forgetting for the moment how upset I had been at Edward's family for their hand in his injury the previous night, I grabbed a glass from the cupboard and held it under the faucet.

"Hey Bells." I nearly lost the grip on the glass in my hand at the gravelly voice that suddenly broke through my reverie. "Oops. Sorry."

"Hey Jake," I replied amiably, taking a quick drink. I turned around and smiled warmly at him. "Look, I'm sorry I haven't called…"

"It's okay," he said quickly, his head ducked so I couldn't see his eyes. "I'm sure you've been busy."

I didn't need to see his eyes. I could hear the dejection in his voice. Guilt flowed through me though I was unsure exactly why. Jacob was sweet, though I still had trouble reconciling the towering man standing across the room from me with the boy in my memory. That Jake – with the long hair pulled back in a tail – was the easier one to accept. That boy, with his easy smile and carefree attitude made him very likable.

The Jacob before me…there was an intensity to him that I didn't understand. One I didn't dare ask about – not only because he was forbidden to share any secret my memory had yet to unveil to me.

I surreptitiously took another long look at him, again marveling at how different this man was from the boy that existed in my mind. For a wild, confusing second I imagined how Lauren and Jessica would react to Jacob – standing before them bare-chested, his warm brown skin taut over his sculpted muscles.

I blinked hard, my face flushing with color as I wondered where that thought had come from. An uninvited image flashed across my mind. Jacob – a very mature looking Jacob – standing in this very kitchen; his hair dripping from the rain, wearing nothing but a pair of cutoff jeans. The Jacob in my imagination grinned unabashedly at me and taunted, "Does my being half-naked bother you?"

I gasped and shook my head, trying to make sense of it. I had never seen Jacob like this…had I?

"Bells? Hey, are you all right?" One large hand gripped my wrist as I swayed; the other moved quickly to grab the glass as it slipped from my fingers. He hurriedly placed the glass on the counter and led me to the nearest chair. "Bells…honey?"

"Jake?" I said hoarsely as I flopped weakly into the chair, my head spinning. _'No, no, no,'_ my mind kept screaming, imagining all sorts of scenarios for the memory it had just conjured up. _'There has to be a logical explanation.'_

"Bella? What is it?" He knelt beside the chair, his face level with mine. It surprised me again how large he was – so much bigger than the boy I remembered. It was funny, too, how he knew to lower his voice; knew instinctively that I wouldn't want to worry Charlie. "Honey, you're white as a sheet. Should I get…?"

"No," I whispered quickly, shaking my head and then groaning as the motion made me dizzy. "I'm fine…"

"Bells, you're not fine."

"Well, I will be," I retorted. "Please don't scare Charlie over nothing."

"Nothing? Bells…" Jacob argued.

"Please, Jake," I pleaded with him. "I'm just…just tired. That's all." When he still looked skeptical I begged once more. "Please, Jake."

"All right," he sighed. I sensed that he didn't want to give in, but I also sensed there were things he was keeping from me as well. "Let me help you to your room at least. Or is that against the rules now?"

I frowned at him, what he was saying wasn't making any sense. "Against what rules, Jake? Charlie has no problem with you and I spending time together." Far from it, I thought to myself. My father pushed me together with Jake as often as he could.

"I didn't mean…" he muttered; then shook his head. "Never mind."

I sighed. Why Edward and Jacob hated each other was beyond me. It was all part of everything they were keeping secret from me, I supposed, but it seemed like more than mere jealousy on Jake's part. I just didn't understand…

"Whoa!" Jake said as I wobbled when I rose to my feet. "Easy Bells…let me help you." He placed an arm around my waist. The heat radiating off of him alarmed me, as it always did. But I learned not to mention it to him – another of those things that I would "understand one day".

"I'm okay," I said again, worming my way out of his embrace. "I don't want to worry Charlie…" I said weakly when Jacob frowned at me.

"At least let me walk upstairs with you."

I nodded. As unsteady as I suddenly felt, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea having Jake along – just in case. Charlie and Billy both looked up from the game as we entered the front room.

"Jake is coming up for a minute and then I'm going to get ready for bed. Is that okay?"

"Sure kid," Charlie replied, unable to keep the smile from his face. "You two visit as long as you want." I glowered at him a moment before wishing Billy a goodnight and heading up the stairs, Jacob at my side.

"So you and the…you and _Cullen_ are dating?" Jacob's voice was dripping with bitterness – it reminded me of Mike when he first found out about Edward and I.

"Yes," I retorted, unable to keep the acid from my tone in response to his. "Edward and I are together."

"Should have known the leech wouldn't hold to his promise," he muttered under his breath.

"Promise? What promise?" Jacob blinked in surprise as I whirled on him. His face flushed under my gaze. "What are you talking about, Jake?"

"Nothing," he grumbled, shaking his head. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"You're right – you shouldn't have, Jacob Black!" I shot back, my anger growing. "Especially if you're not going to explain yourself. I'm so tired of everyone spouting cryptic messages and half-truths."

"Bells…I can't. I'm sorry…"

"You should be. If that's why you came up here – to try and malign Edward – you can just leave now, Jacob. I don't need your help."

My hand was on the doorknob, turning it slowly, when Jacob suddenly swore under his breath and pulled me roughly behind him. Placing himself between me and my bedroom door.

"Jake…what are you…?"

"Shh," he hissed at me, his eyes wide and his face twisted into a mask that was a mixture of distaste, anger, and horror. He pushed open the door quickly and glanced around the darkened room before turning back to me. "Stay here."

"But…"

"Bella," he commanded, placing both hands tightly on my shoulders. "Stay here."

I could barely see into the darkened room, but Jacob scoured every inch of it – including the closet – without turning the light on. He rushed to the window and stared out and I had a moment's panic. Had Edward shown up and Jake heard him? And how? Edward moved so silently…

"Damn it," Jacob muttered over and over. "So close…need to warn…but…" Over and over he muttered half sentences that made no sense to me, his gaze flickering from me to the darkness out my bedroom window and back.

"Jake?" I squeaked. The expression on his face frightened me for reasons I couldn't fathom.

"Bella," he croaked, closing the space between us and crushing me against him. I could feel his whole body shaking violently; could hear him speaking softly to himself. "Get a grip, Jake. It's okay. Everything's okay. He'll be here soon – you know that. Never thought I'd be glad to know that, but…"

"Jake," I huffed out against his chest. "I can't breathe…"

"Oh." He quickly loosened his grip. "Sorry." He seemed conflicted; between wanting to stay and needing to leave. Yet he made no move to release me and head for the door.

"Jake," I prompted, "it's late. And I need to get ready for bed."

"Okay…okay," he whispered, nodding slowly and taking another careful glance around the dark room. Honestly, how could he see anything? He lifted my things off the bed and handed them to me. "Bella…"

"What?" His expression was so torn; worry clouded his eyes and it made him seem so much older than his years.

"Be careful."

"Jacob, I don't understand…"

"Just be careful, okay? And call me tomorrow. _Before_ school…promise?" he pleaded. "Please?"

"O-okay, Jake. I will." I agreed; anything to erase that look from his eyes. He started toward the stairs, but I felt his eyes on me even after I closed the bathroom door behind me.

I never heard his feet on the stairs, but, suddenly he was making excuses why he and his father had to leave. I heard the front door open and close as I turned the shower on.

Charlie was waiting when I stepped out of the bathroom. "You okay, kiddo? You look a little pale."

"Yeah, Dad. Just tired." I yawned, not just for effect and stepped around him to my room. I closed the door behind me and climbed into bed. Sleep came easier than I thought; not even the image of Jacob's worried face kept me long from slumber and it faded away as the darkness closed in.

I hadn't been asleep long when I was swept off the bed and against something cold and hard. A low, frantic whisper ruffled my hair. "Bella."

"Edward, what…" The question hadn't fully formed in my sleep-addled brain before we had crossed the windowsill and landed on the ground. Edward turned for the forest and darted through the dense branches without looking back.

"Edward…"

"Shh…" he said soothingly, drawing my head against his chest.

"But…Charlie…"

"I'll have you back long before he wakes up, Bella."

I risked a glance at Edward's face. Even in the dark I could see the hard set of his jaw. His mouth was a taut line, the tension belying the smooth calm of his voice. His eyes were dark, wild; a fiery combination of anger and fear that caused my heart to take flight.

"Edward, what is going on?"

"Everything is fine, Bella. Don't worry."

"No," I argued. "Everything is not fine. You think I can't see that something's wrong…"

"I just need to speak to Carlisle…" 

"Then why rip me from my bed as if it was on fire?"

"Bella please," he pleaded, never slowing as we raced through the darkening forest. "I'll explain later."

"No!" I demanded. "You explain it to me now, Edward. I'm tired of everyone walking on eggshells around me."

"And then tonight everyone goes mental on me. First Jacob practically rips the door handle from my hand and throws himself between me and my bedroom like the boogeyman was waiting there for me. And then you…"

"Jacob Black was in your bedroom tonight?" That made him pause. Edward stopped mid-stride and lowered me to my feet so quickly that I stumbled. His hands gripped my shoulders, and though I could barely make out the features of his face in the darkness, I knew his eyes could see every inch of mine.

"Oh don't," I said quickly. "I can't take any more petty jealousy. It wasn't like that. You know I don't…"

"What did he do?"

"What?" The cold, hard edge to Edward's voice startled me and I took an involuntary step back.

"What did Jacob Black do?" He over enunciated every syllable; like cracks of a whip. I trembled in spite of myself. The moon shone through the trees suddenly making his eyes flash eerily.

"Like I said. We-we were arguing and I told him to go away. Then suddenly he was between me and the opened door. He hissed at me to stay put…" I broke off as his eyes narrowed. "And he searched every inch of the room, looking as if he expected something to jump out at any moment."

"He stared out the window into the darkness for a long time. At first I thought he might have heard you out there – though how, I don't know. Since I never hear you…" I realized I was rambling but couldn't seem to stop. "He kept muttering to himself – things that made no sense to me at all. Then he gave me this bone-crushing hug and told me to be careful and…"

"And then he left you?" Edward finished angrily. _"Alone?"_

"It was late and he had to go." I frowned, confused. It seemed as if Edward was angry that Jacob had left – why?

Without another word he scooped me back up in his arms and moved through the forest once again. Very quickly we stepped through the trees into the yard and I could see the large white house looming just ahead. He hurried up the front steps and through the door without breaking stride. Emmett and Carlisle looked up from the sports show they were watching on the big screen TV. Carlisle rushed to his feet.

"Edward, what is it?" He turned an alarmed gaze to me, his doctor's eyes examining me for any external injuries, no doubt.

"She's fine, Carlisle." Edward said softly, watching as the rest of his family entered the room, alerted by Carlisle's worried tone. He lowered me to my feet and I leaned heavily against him, worn out from the long day and confusing night.

"Fine," Esme sniffed, her mother's eyes scornful. "She's about to collapse. Come here, dear," she said gently, taking my hand and wrapping her arm about my waist. "I'll take you upstairs where you can rest."

My hand slipped from the small of Edward's back and subconsciously it reached out for him. I knew Esme was right, that I needed sleep, but the thought of Edward leaving my sight was painful. My fingers gripped his and a small "no" escaped my lips.

"It's all right, Esme. Let her stay." Edward moved to the large white sofa and sat, curling me up at his side. I saw he and Carlisle exchange a few pointed glances before he added, "It can wait a few moments."

My eyes focused on Jasper as my panic subsided. He took a step forward and I leaned even closer to Edward. "No," I said, shaking my head. "No, Jasper."

I felt a sharp jab at my shoulder and I spun, barely catching Carlisle as he moved away with his medical bag in his hand. I glared at him accusingly, my vision blurring as the sedative took effect quickly. I thought I heard him mumble an apology as I sank into unconsciousness, Edward's arms still wound tightly around me.


	24. Chapter 24

_Edward_

"Was that truly necessary, Carlisle?" Esme admonished as she swept back into the room. She had moved so silently in and out that, had I not heard where her thoughts had led, I would not have noticed her absence. She took the blanket she'd retrieved and draped it over Bella's slumbering form. "Here, Edward. I'll take her now."

Her tone was much softer than the one just used for her husband and I could see her motherly concern; yet, like a petulant child, I stubbornly tightened my hold on Bella. Esme eyed me thoughtfully; I could see that she sensed my still wildly rampant fear. She sighed and sat on the sofa on the other side of Bella.

"At least let's make her more comfortable?" she asked softly, shifting Bella until her head was resting on my lap. She drew Bella's legs onto her own and gently ran her hand up and down one calf in a reassuring manner. She turned her attention back to Carlisle, her expression turning sour once again. "Now, would you care to explain your actions?"

"I presumed Edward was reluctant to explain why he's here in front of Bella," Carlisle began, sitting down in the armchair across from us. "And I knew he wouldn't wish to be separated from her just now…nor would she. Esme, darling, Bella is in a very fragile state…"

"Probably not nearly as fragile as you and Edward seem to think she is," Esme retorted.

"You yourself said she looked exhausted," Carlisle replied evenly. "If Edward feels the need to share with her the conversation we're about to have – once you've finished your interrogation, that is – I'm certain he will tell her all about it."

"What is it, Edward?" he said, turning his attention onto me. "What's happened?"

"Bella had a visitor tonight."

My hand gently swept across Bella's hair, over and over, just needing to reassure myself that she was here, beside me. That she was okay. I didn't know if I could accurately convey the abject terror that had coursed through me when I'd approached her house and that scent – that unfamiliar and yet recognizable scent – slammed into me.

Though the house was quiet, though I could hear her gentle breathing, smell her overwhelmingly appealing fragrance; still I could not shake the fear. Not until her warm body was in my arms and she was groggily uttering my name.

And even then I had the uncontrollable urge to flee. Though I knew the intruder was long gone – frightened away by Jacob Black, another rescue that I grudgingly had to thank him for – still, I had to take her from there. Before that scent could taint her, could touch her.

"No!" Esme's shocked whisper drew my attention to her. Her hands encircled Bella's legs, drawing them closer to her protectively, as I had done. _'This is what you didn't want Bella to know? You're afraid she isn't strong enough to handle it.'_

"She is the strongest, bravest person I know," I replied, flinching as I heard Rosalie's mental scoffing. When would she get over her petty jealousy? "But not now. She has so much to deal with already…"

"Edward, do you know who?" I shook my head at Jasper's quietly worded question. He and Alice sat together on the other sofa, Alice's legs crossed in the lotus position. Her eyes were wide, expressing an unspoken apology for failing me once again. I shook my head in answer to both their questions.

"Was it Victoria?" Carlisle asked. "The other one that visited before?"

"No, the scent was unfamiliar."

"Should we go check it out?" Emmett piped up, indicating himself and Jasper. His eyes were bright; Em could always be counted on to be ready for a fight.

"No need," I replied, shaking my head again. "Whoever it was is long gone – frightened away by Jacob Black." I glanced down at Bella and felt the fear clutch at my throat again. What if this hadn't been one lone vampire? What if the thought of one young werewolf had not been enough to frighten them off?

"Who was supposed to have been watching the house?" I asked, though I knew the answer. I watched her with narrowed eyes as her thoughts betrayed the lies she spewed from her mouth.

"The dog was there," she spat, eyes flashing at me. "There was no danger. Bella was with you…and even so, you wouldn't be separated from her long."

"It was long enough, wasn't it?" I rose swiftly to my feet, easing Bella gently into Esme's embrace as I did so. I rushed my beautiful blonde sister, knowing that Emmett would be between us in a flash. I felt his large hand at my chest.

"Easy, bro."

"You said yourself that Jacob Black scared them off…" Rose sputtered, truly seeing my anger now. She backed toward the back door, seeking an escape until I calmed down.

"And if that hadn't been enough to warn them off? What if there had been more than one?" I snarled, pushing against the hand that restrained me. "When will you let go of your jealousy, Rose? Don't you realize how many times you have almost cost me…?"

"You care more about that _human_ than you do your own family."

"Rose!" More than one voice cried her name in horror.

Impossibly she seemed to blanch at her own words. She backed away further, her eyes apologetic. "I'm sorry, Edward," she whispered. "I didn't mean…" She broke off and bolted out the door.

"She really doesn't mean Bella harm, Edward," Esme cajoled. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose, and then nodded.

"She'll come around, Edward. You know Rose." Emmett gave me a sympathetic grin before he rushed out the door to calm her down.

I stepped into the kitchen, walking over to the wall of glass at the back of the house. I stared out into the night, not seeing anything but my own black thoughts.

'_I know what you're thinking,'_ Carlisle mused silently. "Only you can make that decision, Edward. I cannot help you with that."

"It's a moot point, Carlisle. Bella has not asked me."

'_She has repeatedly asked to join us…'_

"Not since the accident," I corrected softly. It surprised me that Carlisle could see so easily how tempted I now was to take Bella's life from her. To protect her from unseen forces that conspired against us.

She had often voiced her wish to be with me forever. But did that still hold true? Would she hate me if, in a moment of weakness, I took her human life in order to have her always at my side?

Before there was no need. Bella knew of the dangers that awaited her. She took precautions then, though many were ordered by me, and she had as little desire to be from my side as I did from her. Now…now she seemed to enjoy my company. She seemed calmer in my presence. But she knew nothing of the terrors that haunted her every step, the creatures that longed to do her harm. All because she loved me.

I continued to stare out through the darkness that was not dark to my eyes. I caught sight of Emmett trying to reason with Rosalie, but I did not focus on them. I tuned their words and thoughts out as best I could, though I could not completely eradicate them. I had no patience for Rose's whining in my current mood. She was pacing the length of the yard – how very human.

Though Rosalie loved every one of us – her adoptive family – she hated what she had become with a passion unrivaled. Hated what Carlisle had turned her into on that cold day so many years ago. She had never forgotten – or let the rest of us forget – what she lost when her human life ended.

Yet she strived for perfection in every aspect of her new life. She had to be the most beautiful, the most athletic, the most mechanical, the most intellectual. She excelled in most aspects but was vain enough that the ones in which she fell short, hurt.

That I preferred Bella to her was a huge blow to Rosalie's ego. Not that she harbored any romantic feelings for me – far from it. Rose and I had been oil and water from the day we met; my fault, I'll readily admit. The first words I uttered when she'd first awoken to her new life had been far from welcoming.

Were I to turn Bella – to save her, to protect her – would she thank me? Would an eternity with me be a blessing – or a curse? Would she become as bitter as Rosalie once she realized what I had stolen from her by giving her immortality? Would she mourn all that she could not have – could not do – by gaining eternal life?

"It is a difficult decision, Edward," Carlisle said quietly, breaking through my thoughts. "One that could have major repercussions if ill-thought out. I don't envy you. With all of you, I had no time to weigh my options as you do. And not a day goes by that I don't wonder…"

"_Do_ I have time, Carlisle?" I interjected softly. My thoughts went back to the panic when I neared Bella's window earlier that night. Though I could hear her heartbeat, steady and calm, could hear her soft, even breaths, still, when the unfamiliar scent of a strange vampire hit me I could not help but fear the worst. This was not the same vampire that had scoured her room, knowing she was not there; taking possessions but leaving Bella and her father unharmed. This one had expected to find Bella in her room, alone and vulnerable; a thought that made me shudder even now, when I could see her safe and close.

"Had that mongrel not been with Bella…" I cursed Jacob Black even as I silently gave thanks for him being there – for now I had one more reason to be indebted to him. In my mind's eye I saw it clearly. Bella curled on her side, her beautiful face peaceful in slumber as a faceless horror slinked silently toward her. Teeth bared, it struck swiftly, cutting off Bella's scream before it even began, all while Charlie tuned into ESPN's Sports Center, oblivious to the evil one floor above.

Try as I might, I couldn't banish the nightmarish images from my mind. Visions of Bella struggling feebly in the monster's vice-like grip. The color fading from her cheeks, her lips turning white as the beast feasted upon her. Her struggles lessened and then ceased altogether; the light in her chocolate eyes dimmed and died.

"No!" The word tore from my throat with such force, the pain of my vision nearly crushing me. My hands flew to my face, as if I could scratch the image from my eyes – make it as if I had never seen it.

"Edward!" The alarm in both Carlisle and Esme's voice was strong, but it was not their call that gripped my attention. Another voice – soft, groggy with sleep, and filled with confused concern – stood out from all the others.

"Edward?" Bella said again, struggling to sit up on the sofa. Still feeling the pull of the sedative Carlisle had given her, she swayed, one hand reaching out for some sort of ballast. A half-second later, her hand was in mine, her body pressed to my chest as I struggled to eradicate the images that had me crying out in agony.

"Edward? What…what's going on?"

"It's nothing," I said soothingly, burying my face in her hair and inhaling her unique scent. I shook my head slightly at the concerned and questioning glances from my family. "Later," I mouthed, too softly for Bella to hear. Yet, for all my attempts to shield her, still she sensed my turmoil. She pushed against my chest and my grip lessened; as she leaned back to meet my gaze I pushed the voices in my head aside and focused solely on her.

"No Edward." Bella's voice was surprisingly strong and clear. "I want to know what's going on. Stop trying to protect me – stop trying to placate me…"

"Bella…"

"No! I want an explanation. Now! You drag me from my bed in the middle of the night, rush me over here, and then…" Her dark eyes narrowed and she focused an accusatory gaze onto my father. "You drugged me!"

The expression on her face, along with the contrite apology forming in Carlisle's mind was too much. I laughed aloud, further startling my family – several of whom were wondering if I had completely lost my mind.

"Edward…" The tone of her voice was a mixture of confusion and frustration, a surprisingly welcome sound. I held her tight to me, kissing her temple.

"Bella, I promise," I tilted her face up until our eyes met, my hands cradling her cheeks gently. "I swear I will tell you what you want to know…after I get you home. If Charlie wakes up and finds you missing…"

I heard all of Carlisle's unspoken warnings and filed them away. I knew of his worries. But Bella had every right to know what was going on. And I was tired of lying to her – it killed me to tell her a lie or a half-truth, even if it was a lie of omission. I would do my best to shield her, protect her, but I was done lying. Or so I tried to tell myself.

I stared down into her deep brown eyes, hoping my own adequately conveyed my sincerity. "Let me get you home," I repeated, "and I will answer all of your questions. I promise."

She stared at me, her eyes calculating – as if trying to gauge the truth in my words. All the while Carlisle's silent protests grew louder and louder in my head. Finally, Bella nodded. "Okay."

"Bella." Esme carefully and effortlessly extracted Bella from my arms and pulled her into her own. Her tawny eyes caught and held mine briefly before I turned to face Carlisle. Even without being able to read minds, my mother had a good idea the path my father's thoughts had taken. There was sympathy in her expression, but also a warning to not take Carlisle's opinion too lightly.

"I know," I hissed, my eyes locking on his as I turned. "I can't lie to her anymore, Carlisle. But I will be careful." The words were uttered so softly that Bella had no hope of overhearing them.

"Are you ready?" I asked her, my voice holding no trace of the frustration just expressed to my father. She nodded, bade a hasty farewell to my family and allowed me to lead her outside.

"I don't suppose we could take your car," she said hopefully, her eyes focusing on my collar as she avoided my gaze.

"And just how would we explain it to Charlie in the morning?" I chuckled. I watched her face as the meaning of my words became clear – had she honestly thought I would leave her alone? Unprotected? Her eyes widened slightly, her heart beating out an uneven rhythm as her cheeks flushed a delicate pink.

"Oh," she whispered, her gaze dropping to the ground.

As always, the pooling of blood beneath the fragile silk of her skin didn't fail to stir me. It was not the monster that rose to the surface this time – the one that once longed for her death, imagining her warm blood sliding down its throat. No, this stirring was infinitely more human, though no less primal.

My hand swiftly but gently cupped her chin and tilted her face upward until our eyes met. I stared into her eyes for one long, suspended moment before my mouth dipped down to capture hers.

My arm encircled her waist as she leaned into me. A soft moan slipped past her lips, her hands dangling limp at her sides as I deepened the kiss. I heard her heart flutter, skipping beats every few seconds; her breath as erratic and harsh as mine.

'_Focus Edward.'_ Alice's crisp tone cut through the haze in my mind. If blood still ran through my veins, my face would be as crimson as Bella's at the images my sister saw and shared with me. With a groan, I pulled away from Bella as gently and quickly as possible.

"I want your promise now, Alice…" I whispered, knowing she could hear me from inside the house. I wanted to growl the words – the order – but I knew she could hear the tone of my thoughts without me alerting Bella to my anguish. There were some lines my dear sister needed to learn not to cross.

'_Okay, okay,'_ she groused silently. _'I was only looking out for your wellbeing…'_

As if she expected me to believe that. I glanced down, wondering if Bella had caught any of that exchange, and was surprised to find a bemused expression on her lovely face. Had she somehow heard what I had said to Alice? Had she guessed what my sister had seen?

"What?" I asked hesitantly, for once unsure if I wanted to know what she was thinking.

"Your kisses are different than I remember," she mused, the blush on her cheeks deepening. "Less…tentative," she continued after a brief pause, searching for the right word, I guessed.

"Is that a fact?"

"I…" Her eyes dropped to the ground, her hands twisting in the hem of her shirt.

"Yes?" What could she possibly be thinking? Did she wish that I hadn't changed? Hadn't become more confident? Did she not realize how much I wanted her? Had she changed _her_ mind? About her feelings for me?

"I like it." Her words were little more than a breath of air. She peered up at me through a fringe of lashes and I was nearly undone. I groaned aloud.

"Come on," I said, rougher than I'd intended, taking her arm and slinging her onto my back. "We have to go. Hang on tight. And close your eyes."

Moments later I was crossing the sill into her bedroom, Bella still clinging to my back. She'd taken my advice this time and not watched. Once she realized where we were, she clambered from my back and perched on her narrow bed, gazing up at me, a million questions in her eyes.

This was what I was dreading. Could I be completely honest with her? I wanted to – I was as tired of keeping secrets from her as she was tired of being in the dark. But would I be able to answer all of her questions? Without making matters worse?

"Go ahead," I said softly, sitting down beside her. "I can see that you're dying to ask…" I winced mentally at my poor choice of words.

"Why? Why did we have to rush to your house tonight? Why were you acting so strangely when you arrived?"

As first questions went, this one was not so bad. I knew from the moment we fled that I would have to explain my actions; knew that she needed to be warned, so she could take precautions of her own.

"Another vampire was here tonight," I replied, knowing there was no easy way to say the words.

"Another…? One of your fam…?" she started, cutting off as I shook my head. I could hear her heart start to race. "But…why? Tonight? When? How? Who?"

"Shh, Bella, it's alright," I said soothingly, stroking her hair and leading her head to rest against my shoulder. I was far from soothed myself at the thought, but she needn't know that. I sighed; not even past the first question and I was already censoring myself.

"As to the who and why, I have no answer. The scent was not familiar to me. The when…I'm guessing whoever it was had been about to cross the windowsill when you and Jacob were outside your bedroom door. Jacob Black must have frightened them off."

"Jake frightened them? How is that possible?"

Oh hell. So much for my telling the truth. "I don't know," I hedged; much as I loathed the dog, his secret was not mine to tell. Besides, didn't she have enough to worry about with the knowledge that a strange vampire had been inches from invading her home?

"If the vampire was gone before you arrived…" she started, and I could see she was trying to rein in the fear that flared within her. "Then why did we have to rush off to your house?"

"I wanted to let my family know, so they could help me find out who is behind this. And…because I wanted to get you away from here."

"But…Charlie…"

"Charlie is fine, Bella," I said gently, marveling at how she always put others' safety before her own. "I can hear him snoring in the next room."

She stared at me a moment, debating on whether or not to argue the point. Apparently deciding against it, she sighed; then focused on me again. "Why did Carlisle drug me?"

"That's partially my fault," I admitted sheepishly. "Carlisle expected that I would not want to worry you with the news. Nor did he think that I would want to be separated from you, so…" I shrugged. "He was right on the second count."

"Oh."

Oh? That's it…just 'Oh'? Why couldn't her accident have dislodged that barrier that kept her thoughts from me? Her monosyllabic replies were driving me mad. She was quiet for a long moment and I worried about what question might be forming in her mind now.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" I struggled to keep my tension and frustration from my tone.

Her hands were in her lap. She stared down at them, twisting them nervously before she spoke. "When James bit me…" I took hold of her hand and traced the crescent-shaped scar, waiting for her to continue.

"You could have just let…why didn't you let the change happen?"

My hand froze on hers as her words crashed over me. Wasn't this what I had just been wondering and hoping for mere moments ago? What Carlisle and I had discussed – her wish to enter willingly into this half-life we lived? But…was that what she wanted? I couldn't tell – couldn't be sure. Her voice was strained, almost sad. But was that due to her desire to stay with me forever? Or a remembered fear of the pain that James put her through?

What was the correct response? I didn't know anymore. I wished again that I was able to read her thoughts, know what she was thinking – what she wanted from me. I answered her, finally, with a truth. Not _the_ truth, but a truthful statement nonetheless.

"You were in so much pain." I closed my eyes at the memory, the image it conjured coloring my voice. "I couldn't bear to see you in such pain."

Her slender arms wound around my waist and I felt the heat of her breath as she laid her head against my shoulder. Eyes still closed, I sighed heavily, letting the comfort of her warmth wash over me.

"Oh Edward!" Unconsciously, I allowed Bella to guide our movements…until I was the one curled up against her; my arms wrapped around her waist as I felt her hands stroke soothingly along my spine. One delicate hand swept across my hair; her breath ruffling the strands as she softly crooned my name.

An ancient longing – long since buried – of a mother's comforting embrace, welled up from deep within me, startling me in its intensity. Vague, half-forgotten images assailed me – of Elizabeth Masen, my mother, wrapping her arms around my slender shoulders and soothing away childhood hurts.

It surprised me how quickly our roles had reversed – from my calming Bella's fears to her soothing my own distress. And it astounded me how much I needed this comfort – how I had missed it. Esme had been my mother decades longer than my own mother had been; loving me as fiercely as Elizabeth Masen had loved her only child. But I had come to her as a man; far too old and mature, or so I thought, to cling to her stone body and sob against her shoulder as I was doing now with Bella. Tearless sobs that shook me harder than I thought possible.

Bella's arms encircled me, one hand stroking soothingly up and down my spine. The fingers of the other brushed at the edges of my hair, her palm curled around my face; a shuddering sigh escaped me as her thumb slowly caressed my cheek. Unthinkingly, recklessly, I allowed her to draw my head closer, my face buried against the soft warmth of her throat.

Her ministrations were soothing the ache in my silent heart; but it was replaced by other aches. Other longings. From this brief encounter I saw only too clearly how well suited Bella was to motherhood – something she would be giving up by staying with me.

An image, unbidden, flashed before my eyes and viciously tore a hole in my heart. Bella, my Bella, glowingly radiant as she gazed adoringly down at the child suckling at her breast. A child with thick bronze curls, long lashes, and eyes the color of warm chocolate. My child – the one I could never give her.

My breath caught, an audible sob escaping me at the cruelness of the vision. Bella's arms tightened, her soft crooning doing little to ease the ache this time. Why torment me with visions of what can never be? Even if Bella were to remain human – something that, prior to her accident – she was dead set against. Even then, we could never share such a future.

And did she want that future now? Could I take it away from her – even if she were willing to share the rest of eternity with me? Could I deny her the joy of having a child?

The image shifted and changed – the child's hair grew longer and darker, a straight glossy black. The skintone changed too – darker as well. Bella chuckled as the child grabbed hold of her finger with a russet-toned hand. She tilted her head back to face the figure standing behind her, and I watched in horror as Jacob Black bent down to kiss her waiting lips.

'_NO!'_ The word was silent, but it was no less a scream. No…no…Bella was mine. She loved me. I couldn't let that mongrel win – couldn't let him take her from me. I wouldn't let that happen…I would make sure Jacob Black could never share a child with _my_ Bella.

The phone in my pocket vibrated suddenly, pulling me from my visions. With a start, I realized my teeth were bared, pressing into Bella's soft throat, though not yet with enough pressure to break the skin. I wrenched myself quickly but carefully away and withdrew the phone, though I knew who was on the other end of the line.

"Edward?" Bella asked, confused; not realizing, I'm sure, just how close I had come to… Oh my God, what had I nearly done? I moved to the far end of the room, putting as much space as possible between us.

"I'm sorry…" I rasped, my voice raw. "I have to take this." Even as I said it, I heard Emmett running up to the tree outside, shouting my name in his head. Alice must have told him what she'd seen. "I'll be right back, sweetheart…I promise."

I leapt from the window, the phone still buzzing insistently in my palm. Emmett stepped up to me as I hit the ground, his hand outstretched. Without a word, my face a mask of horror, I dropped the phone into his hand.

"I've got it covered, shorty," he said into the phone. "Call you back in a few." He flipped it shut without another word and held it out to me, his eyes carefully scrutinizing my face.

"What'cha doing, bro?" His tone did not match the lighthearted words, and his thoughts were a mixture of sympathy, frustration…and irritation. That angered me, but I said nothing.

"No screaming in agony…so I guess we made it in time?"

"I thought you wanted Bella to be one of us? I thought you loved her?" I lashed out at my brother, undeservedly, but he took it in stride, a small smile on his face. I had no right to take this out on him.

"Hell yes I want her in the family," he chuckled. "If only to keep you from being such a jerk." His expression sobered as he clamped a hand on my shoulder.

"You know I love Bella. We all do. But…now's not the time, Edward."

"What did Alice see?"

"It's bad, bro," Emmett said softly, shaking his head. "Isn't it enough to know that – without all the gory details?"

"Tell me, Em…please?"

"Reader's Digest version? The short one saw you making Bella a midnight snack. Somehow the burning triggered her memories and she woke up crazed as hell and pissed at you for leaving her way back when. No one could control her…" He paused briefly before continuing. "The pack had to take her down. Jacob did it himself. Then the mutt came after you. Didn't think you'd want it to go down like that. So here I am."

"No!" My head fell into my hands; then something Emmett said hit me. "Wait…how did Alice see the pack…?"

"She didn't." Emmett said brusquely, suddenly avoiding my gaze. 'She saw me and Jazz…explaining how you and Bella died. The furball had almost convinced himself to let you live – saying it was justice that you suffer forever for…" He sighed. "But you didn't let him…"

I shuddered, drawing several deep breaths into my lungs. "Why are you here, Em? Either way, what did you hope to accomplish?"

"I don't know, bro...Suck out the venom before it's too late? Finish the job and take her out myself? Help you hide the body?" Furious, my gaze flew to his face, instantly calming when I spied the smirk there.

"Emmett…this isn't funny."

"No, it's not. But everything worked out fine. So…no worries." He looked up at Bella's window. "Now go back to her and calm her down. She's pretty damn scared – I can hear her heart racing."

"Thanks, Em." I clasped his hand firmly.

"For running over here like a lunatic? No problem, bro. Anytime." He turned and disappeared into the night as I jumped and climbed back through the open window.

Bella backed away from the window as I entered; her heart racing double time and her face pale. As I stepped inside, she rushed to me and threw her arms around me, hugging me fiercely. My arms wrapped around her and I led her to the narrow bed in the middle of her room.

"Edward, what is it? Was there another v-vampire?" She stuttered on the last word and I could feel the tremors coursing through her. I had been so wrapped up in what I had almost done that I hadn't given a thought for how the sight of Emmett appearing so suddenly might look.

"Bella, sweetheart," I said gently, taking her chin in my hand and tipping her head back until our eyes met. "It's okay. You're safe. Emmett just needed to talk to me for a minute."

"Edward, don't…"

"I promise you, love; it had nothing to do with any rogue vampires." I leaned in and kissed the tip of her nose. She sighed, closing her eyes, and her heart did that familiar and welcome flip. Impulsively I shifted and captured her lips with mine; smiling slightly at the sound of her breath catching. She moaned softly and leaned into me.

"Bella…"I began when I pulled away. "Thank you. For earlier. I needed your comfort tonight – far more than you could ever imagine…"

She blushed, lowering her head to one side and I swallowed a horrified gasp at the sight of teeth marks on her throat. My hands clenched into fists behind her back, before I willed them open again. I had not broken the skin; there was no blood, no contamination. Still, it had been so close.

"And I am so sorry," I whispered, fingers reaching up to gently trace the marks on her delicate flesh. "For this. I…I have no excuse."

"I don't understand," she replied simply, one small hand moving to where mine rested. She flinched slightly as her fingertips connected with the bruise. My arms released her as she turned; I sat down heavily on the bed as she bent down to gaze at her throat in the small mirror on her dresser. "Oh! I…I hadn't even realized…"

"Edward!" she cried, turning and rushing to me. She climbed into my lap and my arms automatically encircled her. She leaned back and gazed into my eyes. "Why?"

"Why?" The word was practically strangled; I knew where this was heading. And I knew now that I could not do what she was bound to ask of me.

"Why did you stop?"

"Bella…you're still recovering from a serious injury. Your _father_ is in the next room," I spat. "Don't you think that might have been a bit disruptive?"

"But...then…?"

"Please, Bella. Not tonight." I begged with a sigh, knowing the chances that she would acquiesce to my plea were small.

"You promised you would tell me anything I wanted to know." I could hear the pout in her voice and it brought a smile to my face. It was a welcome sound, a tone I hadn't heard much in the days since her accident.

"And I will do my best to hold to that promise. But not tonight." I stood and turned, placing her in the bed and pulling the covers over her. "Your father is stirring in the next room," I whispered. "He'll probably be checking on you any moment."

"You're not leaving?" The panic was evident in her eyes and voice and I quickly reassured her.

"Bella…how many times need I tell you that I will not leave you unprotected? Before you believe?"

"But…"

"Don't worry. I'll hide when he comes in – if he comes in." I stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I am not going to leave you, Bella. I love you."

tbc...


	25. Chapter 25

_Bella_

"Cut it out," I mumbled as I swiped at something tickling my nose. I heard a low chuckle and the tickling started again. "Go away." I rolled over onto my side and burrowed under my covers.

"Hmmm…" a low voice murmured near my ear. "I guess I'll have to call Alice and tell her not to pick us up this morning. That you want another day off…though I'm sure Charlie will come looking for you if you don't show up in class…" I frowned as that thought wormed into my half-conscious mind.

"Although, I wouldn't be disagreeable to a little more alone time…" The voice was a seductive purr and I felt my body being drawn up against a hard, cold chest. Lips roamed slowly along my jaw and my heart skipped a beat or two as my eyes fluttered open.

"There you are," Edward said with my favorite crooked smile. "Even with Alice driving, we're going to be late if you don't get up soon."

"Okay, okay," I grumbled, grabbing up a pair of jeans and long-sleeved top. I rushed through a shower and dressed quickly. Stepping from the bathroom, I heard two sharp bursts of a car horn. Alice.

Edward scooped me up and hurried down the stairs. He set me down in the middle of the kitchen floor. "Got anything quick for breakfast?"

"I think," I said, moving to the pantry and scouring the shelves. "Yep…pop tarts."

"You want to heat them up?"

"No, I can eat them cold." It was then that I noticed he already had my backpack and he took my hand in his as we rushed toward the door. He opened the back door of the Volvo for me and climbed in beside me.

"Good morning, Alice." He said genially, smiling at his favorite sister. The arm about my waist drew me against his side and he murmured into my hair, "If I could, I would hold you like this all day."

"I-I think the teachers might object," I replied shakily, blushing again. It seemed I barely had time to blink before we were at the school – Alice drove as recklessly as her brother it seemed.

Alice bounded from the car with a grace that ballerinas would kill for and made me feel even clumsier in comparison. Edward stepped from the car just as smoothly, turning and offering me a hand. I took it and he slung my backpack effortlessly over his shoulder as he helped me from the car. Releasing my hand, his arm slid around my waist and drew me up against his side; I heard a soft chuckle rumble in his chest as my heart did a few somersaults at his touch.

"Is it wrong that it pleases me that I affect you this way?" he murmured into the hair above my ear.

"Feeling a little smug this morning?" I couldn't help but tease. His lips hovered behind my ear, his cool breath sending shivers down my spine that had nothing to do with temperature.

"That isn't smugness, Isabella," he breathed, "What you hear is unquantifiable relief."

I pulled back and stared at him quizzically, puzzled by the fervency of his tone. His words made no sense to me, though they thrilled me to no end. "Relief?"

"That you chose _me_, love," he whispered as he leaned back in, his nose nuzzling behind my earlobe. "I will never cease to be amazed that, given this…second chance, you _still_ _chose_ _me_." His cool, hard lips pressed to the side of my neck and I was helpless to stop the sigh of contentment that escaped me.

"No." Alice said suddenly, her tone sour. Edward stiffened at the same second the word passed her lips and I looked from one to the other in confusion.

"What…?" The question was answered before I could ask it, and not by them. A voice called out from across the parking lot, panicked…and angry.

"Bella!"

"Oh crap," I sighed, realizing in that instant that I had completely forgotten my promise to call Jacob this morning before school. He ambled over quickly, shooting daggers at Edward and his sister from his dark eyes. Why be angry with them when _I_ was the one who had forgotten?

"Bella, why didn't you call me? You promised…" Jacob scolded as he approached us, still throwing malicious looks in Edward's direction. Edward, for his part, had stepped half between us, as if blocking me from Jake or him from me. I moved from behind him so I could see Jake more clearly.

"Edward please…" I put a hand gently on his arm. His gaze shifted from Jacob to me and back before he nodded and he took Alice's arm and moved a few feet away, though still close enough to hear every word.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I replied remorsefully. "It slipped my mind, honest." I ducked my head, embarrassed.

"Bella, I was worried sick! How could you…?" He broke off suddenly with a gasp as his eyes focused solely on me. He took a step forward, grabbing my arms and staring down at me. _"What is that?"_ he growled; one hand released my arm to trace the teeth marks on my neck. The other hand tightened around my bicep until it bordered on painful.

"Jake…" I whimpered, trying to release myself from his grip. Edward was suddenly at our side, his hand gripping Jacob's wrist and he growled, low enough that no one but the four of us could hear. Still, we were starting to draw attention.

"Let her go _now_, Jacob, or I will tear your hand off at the wrist," Edward warned; my eyes widened at the thought.

"Edward, no!" I whispered fiercely, my free hand grasping his arm. Jacob dropped his hand from my arm and I winced at the pain of the blood rushing to the new bruise. He stood there, glaring at Edward; it seemed as if his whole body was shaking violently, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.

"You son of a…" he snarled, taking a step closer to Edward.

"Bella, go inside with Alice," Edward said with an eerily calm voice. He shook my hand off his arm and gave me a gentle push toward his sister.

"No!" I argued, taking a step back toward the two glowering men. "Edward…Jake…please…"

"Alice," Edward commanded, his eyes never leaving Jacob as he spoke.

"No," Alice said calmly; she surprised me by not immediately complying with her brother's request. She stepped between the two, her gaze moving back and forth between them.

"Bella is right," she said to Edward. "Now is not the time nor is it the place for this. Too many witnesses," she added, motioning toward the growing crowd.

"Jacob Black, you need to get yourself under control," she continued, focusing completely on him and turning her back on her brother. "As you can plainly see, Bella is perfectly fine. If you wish to discuss this later, that can be arranged."

"Alice, no…" I pleaded, knowing that any private confrontation between Edward and Jacob would be perilous for Jake. Edward was so much stronger than he was.

"Unless you intend to do some explaining of your own," she continued, ignoring me, "I suggest you leave now and find some place to calm yourself. We'll be studying at Bella's house this evening, if you need to take this further."

"Come on, Bella," Edward said, tugging me toward the building that held our first class. Leaving his sister to continue to reason with Jacob.

"Edward…" I tried to break free though I knew it was fruitless. He put his arm around my shoulder and turned me away from my two best friends. He led me into the building without another word; not allowing me one glance back at Jacob. Once inside, he turned me to face him, his eyes filled with concern.

"Are you all right?" he asked gently, drawing me into a half-hidden space in the hallway. His hand moved over the bruise on my arm, his eyes darkening with fury that he quickly concealed. At the cool touch of his fingers, I drew in a sharp breath. "I'm sorry."

"No. That feels good, actually." I said quickly. It was true, the cold helped soothe the fire underneath my skin. "Better than an ice pack – cold, but not all wet."

Edward laughed at that and I sighed, relieved that, for the moment at least, the storm was over. He stroked my cheek with his hand and leaned in for a quick, but still breathtaking kiss.

"Come on, we'll be late."

"But Alice…"

"Alice convinced Jacob to leave," he replied, leading me to our English class. "She's already in her classroom. And we need to get to ours before Mr. Berty realizes we're missing."

We settled into our desk as Mr. Berty came in the classroom. He was taking a page from Mr. Banner's lesson curriculum – showing us the movie version of Animal Farm as a way of review, rather than going over every minute detail of the story. You could tell the school year was winding down. And finals were looming ahead – growing larger every day in my mind. How would I ever get through them and be able to graduate?

At the moment though, final exams were the furthest thing from my mind. All I could see – all I could think about – were the startling and terrifying expressions of hostility that passed between Edward and Jacob in the parking lot moments ago.

To the untrained eye I'm sure it appeared that Jacob – by way of his size – had the upper hand if the two resorted to fighting. But I knew Edward's strengths – and Jake was only human. I cringed at the thought of his anger getting the better of him.

And he had been angry – more than angry, he was furious – when he'd glimpsed the bruise on my neck. He seemed to know far more than I'd realized. Why? Why did he now believe the stories he had once told me as merely foolish old legends handed down by his ancestors? What had changed?

Jacob knew what Edward was and still he willingly, almost eagerly, confronted him. And Edward seemed more than ready to oblige him in his quest for a fight.

Why? Why would Jake go after Edward, knowing what he was – knowing he was indestructible? And how could Edward even consider fighting Jacob – knowing how easily he could…kill him. I had trouble even thinking the word. How could Edward think of…knowing how much it would hurt me.

I was vaguely aware of a coldness seeping through me and a velvet voice softly but urgently calling my name. I glanced at my arm to see Edward's hand there as he gently shook me. My gaze rose to find his eyes worriedly scanning my face.

"Bella? What is it? Are you all right?"

I sighed heavily; it was growing very frustrating having everyone hovering over me constantly as if I were about to collapse any second. Both Carlisle and Dr. Gerandy had said I was improving – getting stronger every day (though even Carlisle often eyed me with the same worried expression I now saw on Edward's face). Besides, my own health was not what concerned me at the moment. Keeping Jake healthy was weighing on my mind.

And that was another confusing issue. Why was I so concerned? Was it merely the fear I would have for any human being about to foolish jump into a fight where he was clearly overmatched? I mean, I barely knew Jacob…right?

"Bella, please," Edward pleaded. "You're about to worry a hole through your bottom lip. What is it?"

"It's nothing," I said automatically, rolling my eyes when his narrowed. "I'm fine."

"Mr. Cullen, is there a problem?"

"I don't think Bella is feeling well," Edward replied smoothly as I gaped at him in horror. "Maybe I should take her to the nurse," he suggested helpfully.

"I'm fine," I said a bit too loudly as I glared at him.

"Are you sure, Miss Swan?" Mr. Berty asked thoughtfully as he scrutinized my face in the darkness. "You _do_ look a bit pale."

I felt every eye in the room on me, the light from the movie projection screen focused on my face like a spotlight on a stage. I felt the tears threaten behind my eyes and knew I needed to escape.

"I…May I be excused? I need to use the restroom." My face was surely no longer pale, I thought, flushing hotly at the thought of everyone eavesdropping.

"Certainly, Bella."

I was out of the chair before he finished. From the corner of my eye, I spotted Edward rising as well. "I don't need an escort," I hissed angrily, stumbling over my backpack in my haste. I felt a small sense of satisfaction when Edward sank back into his seat, though I knew I couldn't avoid him for long.

I pushed the lavatory door open with more force than I thought myself capable of and it banged loudly as it smacked against the wall. The harsh lights in the room hurt my eyes and I flicked the switch to the off position rather than face the image that would stare back at me from the mirrors.

Shrouded in darkness, I made my way across the room toward the only remaining light source. Dim, gray, the light filtered even more by the rivulets of rain that ran down the outside of the window. My back against the wall, I sank down to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and I tucked my head against them. Only a few minutes perhaps had passed before the door opened, as I'd expected it would.

"Bella?"

The high lilting voice surprised me and I raised my eyes to gaze up at the slight figure standing over me. Though the room was dark I could make out the pale features and spiky hair.

"Alice," I said, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice. "I half expected Edward to come in after me," I admitted.

"That was his original intention. But I managed to convince him that that may not be the best course of action." Alice grinned and I couldn't help but chuckle a little at her expression. "He's waiting outside."

"And listening in on every word, I'm sure."

"I could send him away…" Alice turned toward the door, but I stopped her.

"No matter where he went, he wouldn't be far enough that he couldn't hear us," I retorted glumly.

"You're angry with him," Alice said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

"I…well…yes," I admitted.

"Good for you," she replied with a laugh. Her expression turned thoughtful. "But why are you angry?"

I ignored her question and asked one of my own. "You're glad I'm angry with your brother?"

"Of course." I squinted in the direction of her laughter, trying to get a good look at her face when the lights flickered on. I blinked at the sudden brightness, marveling again at her speed. I hadn't seen her move in the darkness; in all fairness I doubt I would have seen her had the lights been on.

"Oh I don't mean I'm happy the two of you are at odds," she clarified, plopping down on the floor next to me. "Only…things have been rather confusing and frightening for you lately, I know. And it's nice to see – now that your memory is returning – it's nice to see a little of that fiery temper we know and love."

"Alice, I realize my head is a little fuzzy…but I don't recall being _that_ much of a shrew."

"You weren't, silly," Alice laughed again and impulsively threw her arms around me. "I only mean that you've been deferring to Edward more than usual of late. And it's nice to see that Swan backbone resurface." She grinned.

"As it is you give Edward far too much leeway." She added, sticking her tongue out at the door behind which her brother undoubtedly lurked, taking in every word, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Now, what's upsetting you?"

"It's Edward. And Jake." I blurted the words out, needing to speak to someone, though I suspected Alice would take her brother's side. "Why do they hate each other so? And how could Edward even think of fighting Jacob, knowing what…" I broke off, unable to continue.

"Bella, Jacob Black is not the first…male Edward has contemplated fighting in order to protect you. Surely you know that."

"Yes, of course. But the others were different. Jake is just…Jake." I didn't know how to put my feelings into words. How could I explain something like my connection to Jacob when I didn't even understand it myself?

"I don't believe Edward would actually fight Jacob," Alice said thoughtfully. "Unless he thought Jacob was hurting you."

"You don't _think_? C'mon Alice, you know exactly what's happening at all times," I scoffed.

"Not all the time," she interjected softly. "And Bella, you know Edward is prone to overreaction when it comes to you."

She leapt gracefully to her feet and held a hand out for me. "We have a few minutes until the bell. So…you feel up to tackling your next class?" Her topaz eyes took on a mischievous glint. "Or we could go shopping – a girl's day out – and leave Edward behind to make our excuses…"

I briefly considered her offer, then realized such an excursion would surely involve Alice spending money on me to supplement what she felt was my sorely lacking wardrobe. And, if I were honest with myself, what I wanted most right now was to see her brother's face and feel his cool hand in mine.

"I think I should stay, Alice. I've already missed too much time as it is."

"Fine." She pouted and bounded out of the door, sparing her brother a fleeting glance before heading down the hall toward her next class.

He stood across the hall, head down, leaning against the bank of lockers looking like he was posing for a photo shoot. He looked up as I took a step toward him and my heart gave its usual lurch in response. I crossed to stand in front of him and took his hand in mine. "Hi."

He opened his mouth once or twice to speak, closing it again without uttering a word. I could almost see the battle waging within him, between the desire to give me the space Alice surely told him I needed, and the nearly overwhelming need to make certain I was okay. I understood that need – I felt it whenever we were apart.

"I'm fine," I whispered and I heard him sigh in relief. His free hand stroked my cheek tenderly, his eyes never leaving mine.

"I'm sorry," I began and his fingers pressed to my lips, silencing me.

"No Bella. You don't need to apologize. If anything, I…"

"Can we just forget that this morning ever happened?" I interrupted, wanting desperately to erase the pained expression from his face. He nodded and pulled me into an embrace. Our arms wrapped around each other and I could feel his cool breath in my hair as I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I love you," he said softly as the bell rang and the nearby classrooms emptied.

"Me too," I replied. "We'd better move," I added, reluctantly pulling away from him. Edward wound one arm about my waist and led me to our next class.

I knew it wasn't that simple. Just because we weren't talking about it would not make it disappear. We would have to revisit the subject some time – and I knew Jacob would be on my doorstep sometime this evening to continue their 'discussion'. But for now, at least, we could pretend.


	26. Chapter 26

Note: A little change of pace these next two "chapters". Edward & Bella were being a bit on the quiet side (or maybe Jake just talked louder ;) ) so Jacob stepped up. In all seriousness, I tried several ways to work this part in the two voices we've had from the beginning of this tale, but the new perspective – Jacob's – was the only one that worked.

_Jacob_

I screwed up. Big time. Epic. I let my anger get the best of me…again. Something Sam keeps telling me I need to work on. Sometimes I want to tell Sam to bite me. But then, he might just take me up on it.

I'm pretty good at controlling my temper, I think. Usually. But when I saw the marks on Bella's neck – marks that _he'd_ made – it took everything I had not to phase right there in the parking lot and tear him limb from limb. And the most galling thing was that he knew – the leech stood there and listened as I plotted the best ways to kill him.

The bloodsucker had the nerve to step between Bella and me, as if _I_ were going to hurt _her_. I was so incensed by him – by what he had done – that I hadn't even realized that I _was_ hurting her. Seeing the hand-shaped bruise on Bella's arm filled me with remorse and helped rein in my anger.

I quickly released Bella and he took her away while the little psychic leech lectured me. She could be as irritating as Sam. The most infuriating thing was that she was right. The last thing this situation needed was me phasing in full sight of a parking lot full of high school kids.

Not to mention what it would do to Bella – who didn't remember that her best friend turned into a frigging humongous wolf at the blink of an eye. Hell, I wasn't even certain she remembered that I was her best friend.

She certainly remembered the bloodsucker though. She clung to him like there was some sort of magnetic force that held her there. Mooning at him as if he were some sort of god. Made me want to puke just thinking about it.

And I had a long time to think on it. I had just gotten home – after another night-long patrol – and had every intention of crashing on my tiny bed the second I hung up from Bella's call.

The call that never came.

Each second ticked by loudly on our kitchen clock – the slowly moving hands taunting me. _'Surely she should have called by now'_ I kept muttering to myself with each passing moment. My mind conjured up horror after horror – made worse by the knowledge that I had been the one to leave her unprotected.

"Go check on her then," Billy said finally, pushing me toward the door, "if you're so worried. You keep pacing and I'm gonna ram you with my chair."

I decided to try the school first, since it was nearly time for classes to start. I had a moment's panic, not seeing the familiar red Chevy in the lot; then I remembered that Cullen had asked to drive her to school.

I spotted the Volvo easily enough – it stood out like a sore thumb in this town. I was surprised to see him climb from the back – his sister practically dancing out of the driver's seat. He leaned in and helped Bella out. My first thought upon seeing her was relief – that she was safe. And then, irritation.

"Bella!" I saw her skid to a stop just before I called out; saw her shoulders flinch at the sound of my voice. And the softly huffed "oh crap" had a smile springing to my face before I could stop it. Then, remembering how worried I had been, the irritation returned.

At the sight of the marks on her neck the world turned red. Edward had the nerve to look remorseful; I didn't want to think of him that way – though Bella had told me countless times that he wanted her to stay alive. To stay human. He didn't even protect himself when I went after him – it was only my hurting Bella that spurred him into action. Once I'd dropped my hands from her arms, he backed off immediately. No, I didn't want to think of him that way – I didn't want to feel sorry for him, showing all too human emotions. Because he _wasn't_ human.

'_How many times do we have to relive this? Can't you phase back if you're going to wallow so we all don't have to suffer along with you?'_

I could hear the other pack members growl at Leah's coarse thoughts. But she was right – why did they have to suffer just because I was? Sam was gentle as he suggested I try to catch up on the sleep that I was supposed to be getting.

Easier said than done. I tossed for hours, maybe dozing twenty minutes here and there before finally giving up just after 1pm. I still had time to kill before heading over to Bella's to confront the leech.

Bella was infatuated with him, but did she know what he was? I wondered. It seemed like she did – or maybe she thought the bruises on her neck were just from an overzealous attempt at a hickey.

I killed time by running a few quick patrols out behind Bella's house. These new vamps appearing from nowhere were worrisome – especially seeing how they seemed to be honing in on Bella. Why? Was it because they caught the Cullen scent all around her? Wouldn't the local leeches send them running in the other direction?

And why had the Cullens left Bella unprotected last night? Ever since Bella's first visitor, there always seemed to be at least one bloodsucking sentry nearby. Was there a traitor in their midst? My money was on the blonde.

Embry sent out a warning when the Volvo turned onto Bella's street, so I quickly phased back, dressed, and waited in the woods outside her house. Should I rush them as soon as the car stopped in the drive?

I knew Cullen would prefer Bella be away from our discussion. Usually I wouldn't agree with that – I thought Bella was better off knowing than being kept in the dark. But now…how much could she take in one fell swoop? And how much did she know already? How much was _too_ much?

So I waited. I watched as he led Bella into the house, his sister jabbering about graduation all the while. My teeth gnashed together as his arm slipped around her waist with an air of familiarity. He smiled down at her, though his lips were taut.

I wondered how long before Bella called him on it. As observant as she was, she had to notice the tension. Then I really looked at her and realized she held herself in similar fashion. Bella knew what was coming – and she wasn't happy about it.

I watched them settle at the tiny kitchen table, Edward making sure Bella ate something. Something else for Bella to scowl over and it gave me a perverse pleasure to see her unhappy with him.

No, that wasn't completely true. I hated seeing Bella unhappy, whatever the reason. If only she had given me a chance…I knew she could be happy with me. If only _he_ had stepped aside; if only he had kept to the promise he had made to Charlie. I'd overheard Charlie complaining about it to my dad.

Not only was Cullen a lousy bloodsucker, he was a liar. A possessive, controlling, _manipulative_ liar. As the thought crossed my mind I heard a chair scrape across the linoleum floor – loudly.

"Edward, what is it?" I heard Bella ask anxiously.

"Nothing," he replied after a second's hesitation. I knew Bella didn't believe him any more than I did, but again she didn't call him on it. So Mr. Perfect isn't unflappable – I'd gotten under his skin. Good.

I knew he wouldn't wait long. As if she had heard me, I heard the little one pipe up in her trilling voice, "Bella I picked up the perfect graduation outfit for you while I was out shopping today. Shall we go upstairs and see if it fits?"

"Alice…" I heard the exasperation in Bella's voice. It was a welcome sound. So she didn't like the Cullens spending money on her – how did _he_ get around that?

"I don't." I snorted as I heard the softly muttered comment. I figured he would slip out quietly once Shorty had Bella occupied upstairs. Sure enough, seconds later he appeared at the door. He stared at me a moment, probably trying to figure out how to word his pathetic excuse for what he'd nearly done last night.

He groaned and rolled his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. _'Huh…well that's what you get for poking around in my head uninvited,'_ I thought sourly.

"Let's move away from the house," he suggested softly. "So Bella won't overhear us."

"Right," I scoffed. "As softly as you speak?" I added, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "And I don't need to speak at all. You can just pluck everything right out of my head."

"Emotions tend to run high when you and I are together, Jacob." I had to marvel at the even tone of his voice – I knew he despised me as much as I did him. "I would just prefer to not be standing beneath Bella's window should things turn…heated."

"Sure, sure." We moved toward the woods, still within view of the house. And the street, which made me wonder if he was thinking visibility would keep me from phasing if the situation called for it.

"Please Jacob," Edward sighed, rolling his eyes. "Surely we are mature enough to carry on a discussion without the need for physicality."

"Scared, leech?"

"Hardly." He drew in a deep breath and I couldn't help but wonder why – it's not like he needed it. "Habit," he replied, once again answering my unspoken question.

"Sorry," he apologized as my eyes narrowed. "I shall…endeavor to allow you to speak your own mind – without 'plucking it from your head' as you put it.

"And I'd like to start off by explaining the marks you saw on Bella's throat…"

"That _is_ why we're here," I said dryly. "And Bella is the only reason your head is still attached to your neck, Cullen."

"Spare me the histrionics please. I'm trying to explain. And apologize for my…rash actions."

I could see he was struggling to come up with the right words – words he thought would appease me. And, much as I hated to admit it, I could also plainly see his remorse for his actions. That still confused me.

Bella had always said that Edward was against turning her – that he wanted her to remain a human. That it was she who kept pressing the issue – not wanting to be a shriveled old woman standing beside the forever adolescent vampire. Personally I didn't see the attraction – pale, cold, sickeningly sweet smell.

"May I continue?" he asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Your party," I replied, throwing my hand up in response.

"The thought that Bella's home had once again been invaded by a – a rogue vampire alarmed me," he said haltingly. Much as I wanted to hate him – wanted to blame him for bringing these horrors upon her (and it _was_ his fault – he knew it), I could see how terrifying the thought of this unwanted visitor was to him. Again, a side of him I didn't want to admit existed.

"I couldn't help but imagine the scenario – what would have happened had you not been there to protect her." _Again_. I heard the word though it remained unspoken, recognized the gratitude he grudgingly conceded to, and saw the pain that flitted across his face at the knowledge that, once again, he had failed Bella when she had needed him.

"The only thing I could think of was to get her away from here – away from that threat. But it couldn't eradicate the image from my mind. Even hearing her heart beating – feeling her warmth against me – it couldn't…"

"I couldn't – I _can't_ lose her," he declared, his voice tormented. "I would do anything – everything – to keep her safe…"

"By turning her into one of _you_?" I spat, the fury building inside me again.

"No!" I closed my eyes and tried to push the image of his horrorstruck expression from my mind as he spoke. "That was never my intention. I…I wasn't thinking…"

'_Liar!'_ The voice in my head screamed. Just another smooth-talking lie. Well, Charlie saw through his charm; Billy too. And so did I.

"Why couldn't you have just stayed away? Stayed true to your word to Charlie and kept your distance?"

"I won't leave her, Jacob. As long as she wants me, I will not leave her."

The red haze filled my vision again; I could hear the roar of my own breath as I tried to control my anger. "She cares for me too, you know. I could make her happy…"

"And Victoria?" I saw his features tighten, though his voice remained soft, calm. It was easy for him to hide his true feelings, while I was an open book to him. And I hated him for it.

"I can protect her from the redhead just as well as you can…"

"And who will protect her from you, if your anger ever gets the best of you in her presence?"

"I would never hurt her!"

"Not intentionally." His concession to my feelings for Bella only angered me further. "But you know as well as I how quickly things can turn dangerous…" His words brought Emily's ruined face to mind and I flinched involuntarily.

"Get out of my head!" I growled at him. "I would _never_ hurt Bella," I said again. "Not like you did."

Panic spread across Cullen's face and, though I suspected the reason behind it, I was beyond being capable of rational thought. The dam had burst and all my hatred – my jealousy – spewed forth as I attempted to hurt him like I was hurting.

"You claim to love her, yet you left her. Alone. Desolate." I watched with satisfaction as every word hit its mark. "You crushed her…once you had gone all that was left of Bella was an empty shell. A shadow…"

Only the pained gasp to my left broke through my rage. A voice that I would know anywhere – one that did not belong to the creature I railed at.

We both turned as one to face her. Tears streamed down her ashen cheeks, her tormented gaze shifting from Edward to me and back again.

"Bella…" His voice was a hoarse whisper as he took a step toward her. My own feet seemed rooted to the spot, the horror of what I'd done draining me of all my anger.

"No," Bella cried, stumbling backward. She spun and rushed for her truck, nearly tripping over her own feet in her haste to be free of both of us. I heard Cullen's sister tell him softly to stop as Bella wrenched the Chevy's door open and jumped in. She threw the truck into first gear and sped off as fast as that dilapidated antique would allow, furiously wiping tears from her eyes as she disappeared down the road.

"Alice…"

"No, Edward. You can't go after her – not where she's going," she replied softly. A hard edge entered her voice and I knew her next words were for me.

"You. You must go and fix the damage you've done. She's gone to La Push."

"How…?"

"She's disappeared from my view. Where else could she be?" Her gold eyes blazed angrily at me. "You need to fix what you've done."

So here I was, rushing through the woods, wondering where in La Push Bella could have gone. I can't think she would have headed to my home – she was as angry at me as she was at Cullen. My only thinking was that she had headed there because she knew the leech couldn't follow.

I tried First Beach – thinking perhaps I'd find her perched on the driftwood log where she and I had had some of our in-depth discussions. But there was no sign of her – no evidence that she had been there at all.

What if something had happened to her? What if Victoria had come across her and…?

'_Jake! I found her.' _Embry's voice rang out, loud and clear in my head, and I gave thanks for the bizarre link I shared with my pack brothers. _'She's headed for the cliffs, Jake. The upper ledge.'_

I pushed myself harder, branches and leaves hitting me in the face as I rushed toward where Bella was and praying I wouldn't be too late. I phased back quickly just before the clearing, threw my shorts on and stepped from the trees.

"Bella!"


End file.
